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I think a girl i am gaming at work is playing me off against another workmate!!

Discuss I think a girl i am gaming at work is playing me off against another workmate!! at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; UPDATE: Ok things have gone fairly well since i last posted. I eventually got her ...

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  1. #11
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    UPDATE:

    Ok things have gone fairly well since i last posted. I eventually got her out to the nightclub (after another flake) Went for dinner, bar then club. Probably one of the best dates i have ever taken part in, the food was amazing and exactly what she wanted, the bar was fun i showed a lot of social proof and intution as i knew all the bar people there. Her father is a big sports fan and his team had just won a match, we caught the tail end of the match on tv and i told her a text she should send to her dad ( he never contacts her) he texts back right away much to her delight. then we go to the club and she says she loves dancing and hasnt been out dancing for months. the music is exactly what she is into and she has a massive smile the whole time we are there. i am able to dhv with my dancing. Also 3 or more times i would get hb 8's and above coming up to me to say hi (either old conquests or girls who are keen on me now) so massive preselection was being displayed. i treated all these girls with respect and quickly went back to my date. hb9 from work even remarks on how a girl in the club was after me. i brush it off.

    We talked a lot about all sorts. touched on the subject of ex's for the first time and we have both had one serious realtionship which ended badly fairly recently and we both now have trust issues with the opposite sex. When she is talking to me or around me she is so relaxed and open, very chatty and comfortable. she tells me things i can imagine she hasnt told many people. she tells me she doesnt trust dudes after what her past bf did etc. its clear she is very comfortable in my presence but Is there such a thing as being too comfortable?

    Anyway i kiss closed her again during the night after i gave a statement of approval for her qualifiing atempt and as always i pulled away first. we ended up getting taxi back, i didnt even go for f-close. i have too much respect for her and knew it would build a lot of comfort if i didnt as i was getting out first so any other guy would have asked her back to theirs. so i got out first and paid for the taxi for her to continue to her flat. peck on the lips then i jump out.

    next day at work, we are back to the friendly playful dynamic we always have. teasing and building comfort and attraction with a little bit of qualification i throw in every so often. she is a lot more receptive now, coming over to my desk, or initiating 50 percent or more of our convos rather than how it was before with me initating everything.

    AFC has been away this week and is away all next week too. we have a work party next saturday so things should be interesting there. Everything is going well however afc continues to be a continuing prescence and will no doubt be back to his old antics when he gets back. I now need to decide whether to try and escalate things further and go for f-close and inveitable relationship that follows or keep drifting like i am now, taking it slow. i have decided i would like a relationship with this chick so now my only task is turning this situation into one!

    Can you guys help me with the following questions:

    should i start doing more text game? (im good at this, but is it a bit much when i see her every day at work??).

    Should i have a discussion about what we are to each other/where is this going ( i have avoided this type of convo so far as i just wanted to create a nice chilled open atmosphere without having to define everything)

    Should i mention afc? i have never mentioned him and she prob thinks i know nothing about her going on dates with him in the past

    and main question should i push for f-close or continue to build trust and comfort (she is already super comfortable with me so perhaps i can now push for f-close no?)

    one thing she told me was that her religion doesnt allow her to live with someone untill she is married and she would be disowned if she did. this leads me to thing that f-close might not be possible for a long time ( im pretty sure she would f-close eventully but it would take a lot of work!) and in that case maybe another tactic might be required?

    Thanks for reading and as always your opinions are greatly welcomed. Im in a happy place at the moment, lets hope it lasts.....



  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by godfather545 View Post
    Can you guys help me with the following questions:

    should i start doing more text game? (im good at this, but is it a bit much when i see her every day at work??).
    If you feel like it's too much, don't do it.

    Should i have a discussion about what we are to each other/where is this going ( i have avoided this type of convo so far as i just wanted to create a nice chilled open atmosphere without having to define everything)
    Definitely don't do this. It's too soon and you haven't even had sex with her yet. Let her worry about this part.

    Should i mention afc? i have never mentioned him and she prob thinks i know nothing about her going on dates with him in the past
    AFC doesn't matter. Ignore him. She can date whoever she wants to, and so you can you.

    and main question should i push for f-close or continue to build trust and comfort (she is already super comfortable with me so perhaps i can now push for f-close no?)
    Yes, go for the f-close. Just make sure things don't get weird at work.

    one thing she told me was that her religion doesnt allow her to live with someone untill she is married and she would be disowned if she did. this leads me to thing that f-close might not be possible for a long time ( im pretty sure she would f-close eventully but it would take a lot of work!) and in that case maybe another tactic might be required?
    Try the usual strategy first, and if she throws LMR your way, then ask her about it. If she's saving "it" for marriage, she'll tell you then.

    Rogue

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    work game is very tricky. if she is feeling you...strike fast. don't think do it. and when Monday comes....you don't know her.

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    Thank you Rogue, its reassuring to know that I am approaching this the right way. Yes i hold the view that she can date who shes wants and so can i. this is how i genuinely feel. however a small part of me was wondering if this was showing low value as a alpha would not want to share his woman with anyone. however I think i negate this by playing ignorant with her and afc going on dates.

    The texts dont tend to get a good response from her so i will avoid these as much as possible. there is no need for them anyway, i do all my attraction and arranging at work. the weekends when i dont see her can be where she has time to digest the weeks events and how she feels about me.

    I can see there are actuallly a few benefits to work gaming; i realise we spend so long in each others company, its almost like preparing for living with another person. also there is less pressure to move things quickly. my 2 main obstacles however imo are getting too comfortable (friendzoned) and not escalating quick enough due to the reduce pressure to move things quickly.

    The best way to describe work game is as a marathon rather than club or day game which is a sprint.

    I will just push for f-close, probably by organising events close to my home, or even getting her round for dinner (another dhv as i am a very good cook)

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    UPDATE: on the whole things are going well. After the great date last week, this week has started well. We went for lunch on monday, to a fairly posh restaurant. Ive spent time talking to all the waiters there over the past year or so, so i love going there as my social proof is always through the roof. no tables left but they take me to a special reserved one because its me. No specials left but waiter says he will sort me out because its me. all building the attraction :-). we had a good talk, good bit of teasing and comfort a bit of qualification (she makes it really hard to qualify herself though, i need to work on this!) she paid because i paid for the taxi etc on our date.

    Later on that day she came up to the top floor of our office block to have a coffee and vent about a personal issue she had with one of her friends. I didnt try to solve her problems, just let her vent, she asked if i thought she had done the right thing with her problem and i said she had done what i would have done and she handled the situation well on the spot (wasnt actually bull, this is what i truly believed) she was reassured.

    Today we went to the gym together and she has asked me to come with her tomorrrow for a class.

    On the face of it all good......but i am VERY wary of falling into friend zone territory. i try to negate this with a lot of teasing, and also concerntrated on kino'ing a lot at the gym today (can i feel your muscles etc)

    Only negative was today she loudly annoucned that afc had texted her a pic of a baby animal (he's been on holiday for the last week, hes back next week)

    She wants to change career. she wants to move into fashion and conviently my sister work within the industry and has given advice to girls ive gamed before so Ive again asked my sis for a favour. my sis is a hb9 or 10 who models part time and is always going to high end social events and meeting famous people all the time. Exactly what my work hb9 wants to do so i ve told her to add my sis on facebook which she did earlier today (compliance, i have a lot of this with her im always telling her what to do). knowing my sis she they will prob meet for coffee and may even hang out etc. For my hb9 this would be a dream come true; as well as career aspirations, she sometimes complains about lack of social life in my city with other girls.

    Sounds almost perfect right? on paper this girl should be melting in my hands? she probably even is... but i am struggling on how to progress from here. The problem is, im going to struggle to f-close. I maybe need another way to solidfy a relationship with this chick without f-close (due to religion and logistics etc)

    Questions:

    1. Should i just keep doing what im doing or maybe spend less time with her doing "friends" stuff. Wish it was as simple as in school when all you had to do was ask if they wanted to be your girlfriend! ha! normally a f-close seals the deal and its me fighting of the relationship but as i think i will struggle to f-close i need a new tactic. any ideas guys??

    2. Am i being friend zoned here? if a girl confides in you it means she trusts you (she has trust issues with dudes so this could actually be a good thing)

    we have a social event on thurs but it will be difficult to do much with the whole office watching...

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