I've met this really great girl, and I'm actually impressed for real this time, not just in a she's hot way, but in a potentially long term relationship way.
To Liberate a Girl from Her Boring BF
And she has a bf. Of course.
And to add insult to injury, the bf is older, not wealthy, not good looking, really normal average joe kind of guy. That is to say, older, poor, not good looking, but having an awesome personality it totally legit. This guy apparently is some boring schmoe with limited ability to make people around him feel good.
She says her friends are always like you should get yourself a more first class guy, but she thinks she and her bf (of 1.5 years) have this mental/emotional connection. My take on it is that she basically just settled for an average Joe, was happy to have a guy, and stayed in there and invested 1.5 years into the relationship, and fools herself into thinking that this is good in order to hide from the truth that she just settled for less because she's probably not confident that she deserves better, or that better even exists.
I think she's got this idea in her head that if you look good, you've got no personality, if you're rich, you're machiavellian, if you've got personality, then you're likely to cheat, if you're smart, then you're probably a nerd, it's like everything that's good turns into a count against you. And I'm saying it's possible to be all of those things at the same time. Average isn't good, average is average. James Bond is good. And I've spent my 29 year life trying to be like James Bond, and if she has the chance to be with me, that's a wonderful wonderful thing for her.
From her body language and the fact that she's always down to hang out with me for dinner/drinks, I think she likes me. I could swear she's got that doggy dinner bowl look sometimes. I told her I've recently met somebody I think is right for me, and I think she was kinda jealous. But I also feel like she's got a pretty strong bond with her 1.5 year bf, and she's one of those nice good girls who probably feels like she should be loyal above all else, instead of taking a risk.
I need everybody's advice as to how to go about this situation. I'll be the first to admit, I've actually got some oneitis on this one. Should I go for the kill? Should I bide my time and build up my own emotional/mental connection with her until she's ready to dump her bf for me? Should I try to meet a bunch of other women? And would that strategy be to stop having oneitis over her or would it be to make her jealous and have a sense of urgency about wanting me?
One note about going for the kill - she is currently my dance partner, and it's really hard to find a good one where I am. If I go for the kill and she's unreceptive and things get awkward, I would lose her as a dance partner. And she's very valuable to me as a partner.