Discuss Dating for 2.5 months, made a somewhat big mistake, now freezing her out, thoughts? at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; made a big mistake while dating, now freezing her out, thoughts?
Hey all, I was ...
made a big mistake while dating, now freezing her out, thoughts?
Hey all, I was wondering if you can shed some light on my current situation.
I've been dating this girl for 2.5 months. She was the first girl I've had sex with, she's 4 years younger than me. We had sex on the second date, and 3 times overall during the 2.5 month period. We've gone on 10 dates, hold hands, make out.. but on the 9th a cpl of weeks ago, I asked her if she was seeing anyone else at the time (big mistake) she replied "no, not really" I asked if we should make it official, and she said we should hold off until she gets settled in school and her new place (I'm not far from the school) we make out after that then go for a walk.
Fast forward to the last time we hung out, our 10th date - I took her out to a concert. I was gonna pay for her ticket but the price jumped 2x and I made her pay for half (It was a big jump in price) I was staying at her place that night too. She asked if her guy friends and other friends could meet us at the concert. So naturally I said, yeah sure since i knew some of them. We go pregame with some of her gf's and go to the concert. during the concert we danced and kissed, but she also danced with her guy friends. I didn't like it but I just ignored and kept having a blast at the concert. She knew I prob felt odd watching her dance with other dudes so she kept trying to hug me, grab my waist, etc..After the concert, we go back to her place, on the way back I start talking to one of her friends to catch up. Then me and the girl I'm dating get on a cab and she asked "Why did you never ask X on a date?" she asked the same question on the walk back to her apt and I just responded with "Why should I Have"
she goes and gets ready for bed..I make my move for sex, she said "not tonight" she was pretty tired, her roomate was in the other room and her parents were coming for her the next day. So i didn't take it seriously and just made a joke and went to bed. still a bad sign thought.
The next morning, we woke up together. We're talking and I blurt out "You know, it was awesome last night, It was good to see you again..I kinda missed you..but only a little bit" - In a joking manner. she responds "who are you?" and I respond "you'll just have to figure that out" She makes me a quick breakfast, We go make out in her bed and then make out as leave her place.
3 days after that, I texted her with a ping -"I found a little something while go thru my memory card yesterday" She instantly replied - "?" and a while later I sent her a picture of us from our 2nd date with a funny caption. She didn't reply and we haven't contacted each other since. Last time i froze her she replied with a teasing text 2 days after. during our 1-4 meet ups she would ask to hang out and if i had plans, etc. ever since I usually make plans and she says yes, but if a date doesn't work she just tells me her availability or asks for mines and says she'll work around to meet me.
It's been 3 days since I sent the text, and I decided I'm freezing her out / start seeing some other women.
What do you guys think, should I communicate with her 1-2 weeks after no contact or should I ultimately wait until she contacts me first?
Don't contact her.
No offense, she seems like she's not into you too much and doesn't want too much to do with you. You're making all the effort, doing all the chasing and making all the plans. You need to realize that she's on YOUR time, you're not on hers. You're not exclusive, remember? So there should be no point for you to keep on waiting for her.
You can do much, much better. Trust me.
Thanks for the advice man. What if she contacts me, should I ignore it?
She sounds like she is just looking for someone to fool around with.. this in her case it's with you.. not really the relationship based, future wife type by the looks of it. If you're not happy with how things are going.. I say walk. You may or may not respond to her texts based on your own discretion.
No, don't ignore her. That's childish and I firmly believe that it's better to not burn bridges, or in other words, it's better to retain connections with people rather than completely destroy them. You never know what the future holds and whether that connection will be of value. It's also good because by ignoring them you may invoke hatred, which will lead them to go around damaging your reputation.
Originally Posted by fernando_goaless
So, with that said, if she contacts you just act cool. Keep the conversation brief and to the point. Don't act mad or bitter. Be. Cool.
Yeah that's the feeling I got as our dates kept going. It's odd since she introduced me to her dad on our 3rd date, (he gave us a car-ride) and asked about my previous dating history that same night as well as If i ever dated a mutual friend of ours and if i ever had a gf. This was the 1st date after she found out I was a virgin. Even at the last time we met up she asked why I didn't date her friend who is also a mutual friend.
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