Discuss Virgin Girlfriend Won't Have Sex at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Virgin Girlfriend Won't Have Sex
So I'm looking for some advice from you experienced people
Virgin Girlfriend Won't Have Sex
So I'm looking for some advice from you experienced people
Okay so I've been dating this girl for about three months now, and we do everything except sexual intercourse. She's a virgin and says she wants to when we are intimate, but that she would like to wait until she gets married, it's a self promise she made to herself.
Now I'm not sure what to do here, in a way i feel being played out because I'm not getting that part of the relationship. But on the other side I'd like to be the first and only one in her life because I really like this girl, not just her body but her personality and the way we get along, it's just that this frustrates and irritates me. I'm 24 and I don't want to be restricted on this for a LONG time.
Some insight to this, what would you do? Would you be persistent with it and find a way to seduce her or just accept it and be happy with everything else? Keep in mind that I really like her and don't wanna lose her, but I also want this, do I have any hope in changing her mind because she seems VERY determined.
I've been with a girl like that before, except I didn't actually like her as much as it sounds like you like this girl, so I didn't end up staying long enough to break past it (also because I didn't want to take her virginity, since I didn't love her).
Honestly I've seen two types of situations with this (others may agree/disagree with me on this...)
1) She SAYS she wants to wait until marriage, but that's just because she's scared of having sex for the first time, has heard bad things about other girls' first experience, has had some messed up experiences herself, etc... In that case, I think the main way to get over that is to talk about it (without putting pressure on her, not like "Why don't you want to have sex?" but more like "Are you afraid of having sex? Is there another reason besides that promise to yourself why you want to wait?" etc...
Also, if you guys ARE doing SOME stuff, you can gradually escalate over a period of several weeks, slowly, gradually, never pushing too much past her comfort levels, but bit by bit getting a bit more intimate, a bit more passionate, etc... This takes a lot of patience and a lot of self-control (it's a bitch, you basically are setting yourself up for repeated blue balls over a course of a month or two), but it can work.
2) She ACTUALLY wants to wait until marriage or is completely shy, prude, or whatever. In that case, I wouldn't bother with it. Most likely she isn't a girl who is very sexual to begin with, and either she really does want to wait until marriage, and even then, the poor sob who weds her will get it once a year on his birthday or something, or saying she wants to wait is an excuse not to have sex because she really isn't very interested in the subject. It happens... In that case, I would seriously consider if you love this girl or not for other reasons, because most likely sex won't be a major part of your relationship... Like... At all... (again, been there, learned the hard way).
Either way, never force a girl to have sex if she's not ready. (I know it's repeated often around here but it is for a reason. Better to just call it quits if she's not the right person who can match your levels of interest in the subject rather than forcing it on her or something stupid like that.)
EDIT: I'm actually gaming a girl online who admitted to me she's a virgin and she's not gonna give it up unless she's really in love with the guy. I'll most likely bail on this before anything too involved starts because I don't want to deal with it unless if I'm really into the girl.
I also had a female friend who recently lost her virginity at 20 to this guy (who we all thought was a great guy but turned out to be a real loser), and her main reason for waiting until she was 20 was she didn't want to just give it up to anyone. She's fairly decent looking and the guy she lost it to is actually a model/actor and is really physically fit/gorgeous (but he's an idiot, again...). So reasons for waiting really vary from girl to girl, there's no set formula I think...
Recently I read on this blog: http://girlwithaonetrackmind.blogspot.com/ that once a month women get EXTREMELY horny during their period when they are most likely to get pregnant. I'd link the exact post if I could find it again.
Regardless, I think you should find out when her period is and take advantage of the fact that one day during her period she will be extremely uncontrollably horny. Also, look this up to find out when women are most likely to be super duper horny during their period.
During their period, thats nasty, specially for a virgin she'd freak lOL. Isn't it like right after or right before it?....
Originally Posted by All or Nothing
Haha you dudes seriously need to read up on menstrual cycles. Ovulation game is straight pimping when you know how to use it.
Fools, when they have their period is when they're least likely to get pregnant, they bleed out their eggs.
- Girls run on a 28 cycle. Find out when she starts her cycle each month (e.g. Every second Tuedsay)
- They bleed from day 1 for 3-7 days
- They ovulate from days 7-16 (they're superhorny on days 13,14,15)
- They have PMS about day 21
Hey...that's a pretty good deal right there. Depending on the girl, that could be better than intercourse?
Originally Posted by Orochi
I think your answer is simple. If you like her then stick around and take the chance. If not, then do everyone a favour a end it.
If she made a promise to herself, you should respect it. One of the most important things is a person's word,and it sounds like she feels that way.
You can test her on it, but if you did f-close her, she's breaking her word to herself, and she'll be pissed off and resentful about it.
But if you did get her to lose her virginity before engagement or marriage, it would also say a lot about her inability to keep her word.
Some girls will keep their "virginity" by allowing anal and oral until they have a ring on their finger.
3 months in? It might take a couple of years, and not without an engagement ring. Even then she might put the wall up. But she wants lifetime commitment before giving it up.
But in that 2 years time, anything can happen. This is 3 months in, so decide now whether this is someone you want to keep seeing, or find someone who doesn't think sex is as big of a deal.
Either way, you should see every woman at her best and worst, because you're going to deal with both in a marriage.
She's made her choice and has been upfront about it. You can deal with it, marry her, or dump her. There isn't a 3rd option.
Well, he could...
Originally Posted by Vapor
I know it's been a while but thanks for everyone's advice. I like FrenchDude's advice about escalating, and is exactly what I have been doing, we come to the point where she rubs on my dick and she's cum like that. Once we were really close to intercourse, but I couldn't get hard with a condom so that was the end of it. Also by reading sdnightfly's reply I'm not sure if I even want to go for that anymore, by how things worked out I'm pretty sure I can break past it but if she's unsure then I think I'll leave it at that and not push it and make her resentful like sdnightfly said, I think just knowing that I can break through it makes it okay.
Thanks for clarifying that phemmi I always knew that's when they're least likely to get pregnant but horny was something else. I wouldn't want to have sex during a girl's period anyways but that's just me. But now that I know when shes the most horny I'll have some fun with that since I know her cycle.
49thRover it is a good deal, so that's why I'm not so upset about it just something different since this is my first relationship with a virgin. besides no intercourse everything else is great and therefore why i'm sticking it out.
I've decided that I'm going to stick it out for a while and see how it works out, i like what we have because I'm the first person she's been intimate with and that's special for her and special for me too, because I like being the only one and lead her through, but overall we get along great and are right for each other, it feels so natural, however I'm not planning on getting married soon. We'll see how it works out.
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