Discuss Close but not quite on SNLs or 2nd days at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Close but not quite on SNLs or 2nd days
I go out and I have ...
Close but not quite on SNLs or 2nd days
I go out and I have been getting some success with the laides lately...although I'll admit it's a bit of a one-trick pony deal. I'll approach, banter, lead her to the dance floor, make-out...all's good right?
No, the problem is I can't seem to get a girl to go home with me from there. I have tried different things:
- I'll flat out try to take her home and she'll be like "I'm going back with my friends" or something like that
- I'll take her number and text her another day...get no response (or it just dies out after the first exchange)
- I'll take her number and try to meet up with me later, but flakes by giving some excuse.
So what's going on? Is it a lack of comfort? I know I can get a woman attracted to me, but why isn't she going home with me? Or even yet, I'll take her number (ie. not try to take her home), and I'll text her and get no response. It happens to me now, and it did happen to me when I was abroad in the UK/Ireland. Some insight would be appreciated.
EDIT: Just thought of this, but later in the interaction (after having sex a couple of times), I accidentally set the frame of boyfriend/provider and she just goes...could that have something to do with it as well?
Last edited by ibrox; 01-28-2011 at 11:07 PM.
Reason: almost gave myself away
Just because a girl is attracted to you, it doesn't mean she's comfortable with you. You're right, it is a lack of comfort. It sounds like you skip right through it (which would be fine if you didn't want to take them home and just wanted to have sex in the bathroom or something). Sit down with her one on one and build that comfort phase. THEN unleash the attraction/seduction.
I hear ya, but is there a way you can condense the process. What you are saying is fine if you can get an interaction more than 10 minutes...but sometimes you got a 3 minute limit. 9 chances out of 10 you're not getting an SNL with a 3 minute interaction, but how would I go about doing that? Make a view into building comfort? I'm not sure on the building comfort over the phone deal...
nightclub game is a whole different kettle of fish,
comfort in a nightclub environment is a bit of a red herring.
MOST of the time, nightclub SNLs go down like this
Boy meets girl, they're both wildly attracted to each other, they hook up, get horny, go home together.
If she's in a horny state and her 'social situation' is catered for, then chances are she will be likely to go home with you,
but other things can f*ck that up
- she has a big entourage
- she is just playing the field and looking for better options to go home with
- she has to stay at her friends house that night because of x-reason
- she doesnt feel totally comfortable with you (not in a comfort sense, but in a 'is this guy going to kidnap me' sense.)
- she doesnt feel physically attracted enough
Had a chat with one of my natural friends over this...and he said maybe you push too hard. As in I can just get a kiss instead of a makeout and take her number...which has actually been sort of successful in that I can get the number and get laid by her another day...build comfort in day 2. While this is a good strategy for girls in my town...it's not effective when I am away and out to get laid.
eckorock: What did you mean by social situation catered for? Or was it the list below? How would you get around some of these options in the list? I can deal with big entourage, playing the field, and physically attracted (no girl is just gonna makeout with a random guy unless she wants validation), but what about she has to stay with friend's house for x-reason? i guess that comes with the comfort deal
I've made out with any a girl only to have the end result be me going home alone. Alot of women can get their fix through a hot and heavy makeout session and then be done. Guys usually want to go further. You have to keep that tension there. Once you make out it realeses tension in women. Tease them until they can't help but go all the way.
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