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Discuss She never texts first at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; She never texts first So I know a lot of people say that it means ...
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    She never texts first

    So I know a lot of people say that it means she's not interested but for my certain circumstance I doubt that's the case...

    Brief summary:
    Went on 4-5 dates. I was pretty AFC and things were going bad. Never got past hand holding and some light kissing on these dates.

    A few weeks ago my buddy had a party and she asked if I was going( I said yes). She shows up and things escalated much more(no sex though). I saw here twice more after this briefly and things went well but again no sex.


    During this time she's texted me first no more then 2-3 times.
    Once I stopped texting her for about a week and she texted me "I miss you". This happened during the lame date period and I was ready to give up on her as I was sure she had.

    There are times when I don't text her for 3-5 days expecting her to cave but she doesn't and I end up texting her... I'm pretty damn sure she's attracted to me lol but why the fuck does she never initiate? It's making me feel like I'm trying too hard.


    "Cynicism isn't wisdom"

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    Mix it up

    There could be quite a few reasons. I think there is definitely some interest. As a test I would call her. Don't text her for a few days first. Depending on how good your phone game is you may want to make notes of things to talk about first. The idea is to make it fun and interesting. If making notes write enough fun and interesting points to easily fill up a 15-20 min phone call. You probably wont and shouldn't cover them all off (remember she will do some talking too). Write a few points about things you can and have teased her about. If they fit into the flow of the conversation use them. End the phone call while her interest and fun levels are high (ensure it is you that ends it and it has lasted at least 15-25 mins). Do not try to arrange a date, it is not the goal of this call.

    Now sit back and wait. She will definitely be thinking about you.

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    OP this happened to me with a girl about a year ago:

    I KNEW she was interested (had told my friends/absurd amounts of IOIs) however she would not initiate text conversations. Not a single one.

    I just decided that I would be the one to initiate and I did. After about a month of knowing her I f-closed (16-20 hours of total together time). To this day we will still hook up on occasion, and she still only very rarely initiates text conversations.

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    I've dated girls who I knew were really into me, but wouldn't initiate contact. I eventually realized that while they may like me, they were even more interested in being chased. When I would ignore them, they would text me after a little while, only to stop once they got the attention they wanted. This can even go on after you've had sex with them. Does your girl also talk a lot about being a very sexual person, but isn't actually that interested in sex? Does she also have a lot of male orbiter friends? My advice is to cut your losses and move on to someone else. Ultimately relationships like this are unsatisfying, both emotionally and sexually.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 123456789 View Post
    I've dated girls who I knew were really into me, but wouldn't initiate contact. I eventually realized that while they may like me, they were even more interested in being chased. When I would ignore them, they would text me after a little while, only to stop once they got the attention they wanted. This can even go on after you've had sex with them. Does your girl also talk a lot about being a very sexual person, but isn't actually that interested in sex? Does she also have a lot of male orbiter friends? My advice is to cut your losses and move on to someone else. Ultimately relationships like this are unsatisfying, both emotionally and sexually.
    I do think she's interested in sex but really haven't had a chance to escalate there. We both live at parents and the opportunities are slim.
    She does have many male orbiter friends. When she brings up hanging out with them she has to always mention that it's her guy friend not friend lol. She also loves to tell me about the numerous times guys hit on her at work or school etc... So yea she's trying to make me jealous. And that definitely follows what you're saying.

    I just got back from being out of town the past week or so. I called her on new years and she told me to let her know when I get back since she wants to see me. I'm not going contact her in hopes of her trying to get in touch with me. I'm pretty sure she knows I'm back and anyways I posted a status on facebook stating that I'm back home in case she doesn't know. My guess is she wont call/text me lol...

    I'm going to start feeling like an overly desperate tool if this keeps up though. But I do like her and would like to keep seeing her.
    "Cynicism isn't wisdom"

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    I've had sex in stairwells, cars, my office, etc.; there's no such thing as "haven't had a chance". If she wants to have sex with you, she will find a way. If she doesn't want to, she will find an excuse.

    You know all those games you play to get women to chase you? Those work on men too, and in fact it's working on you right now. I bet if you thought about her objectively, you'd realize that she isn't all that great. But all the chasing had made her seem more attractive to you.

    You are probably thinking that you can eventually get through this and you'll settle down into a normal relationship. But you won't. Women like this will always be a pain in the ass, and the sex won't be often enough to justify it (although she will hint that it will be).

    By the way, are you dating anyone else? Sometimes a lack of options can make you pursue someone you normally wouldn't.

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    Quote Originally Posted by 123456789 View Post
    I've had sex in stairwells, cars, my office, etc.; there's no such thing as "haven't had a chance". If she wants to have sex with you, she will find a way. If she doesn't want to, she will find an excuse.

    You know all those games you play to get women to chase you? Those work on men too, and in fact it's working on you right now. I bet if you thought about her objectively, you'd realize that she isn't all that great. But all the chasing had made her seem more attractive to you.

    You are probably thinking that you can eventually get through this and you'll settle down into a normal relationship. But you won't. Women like this will always be a pain in the ass, and the sex won't be often enough to justify it (although she will hint that it will be).

    By the way, are you dating anyone else? Sometimes a lack of options can make you pursue someone you normally wouldn't.
    During the first 4ish dates sex was not an option since we never really sexual at all. Like I said in my first post I was acting pretty AFC here.
    Only recently have things changed and during this time I saw her three times and for the most part getting somewhere secluded enough was near impossible.
    Once we were at a party and the most secluded place we could get was the back of her truck and there were people walking around within 10 ft of it(I did get a BJ though). Another time we took a walk around her neighborhood and I really don't see how it was possible there.
    And this is why I really don't want to say she doesn't want to fuck until I see her a few times more.
    Since the first dates were bad I feel like only recently have we really been going on legit dates and that's why I don't want to be too quick to judge.

    I do realize that she's playing games to make me chase but I am smart enough to realize this most of the time(maybe not right away every time).

    And no I'm not dating anyone else. I know...

    I'm going to see her a few times and really feel it out. I'll let you know if you were right. But again because of the first 4 dates and a few other reasons I don't want to abandon ship this early.
    "Cynicism isn't wisdom"

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