Discuss the line between social and pushy? at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; the line between social and pushy?
Ok, the basics of this story are that I ...
the line between social and pushy?
Ok, the basics of this story are that I number closed this girl on a night out, didn't k-close because i'm taken, that's another story but since then I sent one text saying hope she got home ok(which was stupid, and could answer my question straight away) then another 2 days later with some callback humour to the night out.
She's not directly re-initiated and all i've heard is Merry Christmas which was a mass text, and I can find her on facebook easily. So here's the question. If she's not shown the compliance to answer texts is it fine to add her on Facebook and chat there or is that pushing too far?
I'm not losing anything either way here and my instincts tell me just add her then go quiet for a month or 2, so she can see all the awesome stuff i'm doing, but I guess it's a judgement call.
No-one has ANY advice on this?
Yeah forget about her and move on.
Originally Posted by Xander Pareil
Guys always forget, a girl may give her number out 2-3 times in a night out if shes good looking, most guys will get a girls number and call and text thinking he's the only one she gave her number out to and can't understand why she doesn't respond when they call or text.
As said in many other threads just getting a number doesn't really get you anywhere and most of the times they flake, its always best to try to set up a day the time day you first meet her and use the number as just a way to get in contact to arrange the time.
When I am writing in red, it's as an Attraction Forums mod or admin. When I write in normal text, it's just me.
And remember, if all else fails in set just try this, works everytime.
1. Sending her a "Did you get home Ok" text was a Bad idea....Never send one of these texts, as they are emotionally overreaching and put you in the same bracket as the "Other Guys". The first text needs to have callback humor involved somehow.
2. Dont get her on FB yet...but dont delete number...Never delete numbers...keep pinging every 10-15 days for non-responsive numbers with low investment texts...and about 50% of the girls will take the bait to one of your texts and get back at you in the future. (This is because their personal situation changes, i.e. they just broke up, they found your texts interesting but had too many options/were busy, etc.).
3. In this situation, I would wait 2-3 days and send her a baiting text, like the following (whatever u text..make sure its a statement and not a question).
"I'm glad we stay mildly interested in each other's lives
“You never write, you never call, rent is due, and the kids are worried sick. What should I tell them?” - Wait longer if u want to use this, like 6-8 days
I added her on Facebook but didn't send any messages, then New Years I'm with my gf and she sends me a massive text asking me to come out and hoping I remember her etc. I laid the seeds for quite a few day 2's and totally agree with all of your advice, and what I was really asking about was where moxie ends and pushy begins. Perfect example is that you surely cant just make her do all the work of adding you on facebook, texting you 1st, asking you out etc, so you have to push to some extent, but then pushing too much and you become low value again.
I think I just had a revalation about push/pull :O I mean I understood it before but now i get what it's all about, and why it's there!
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