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09-23-2010, 11:38 PM #1.
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- Sep 2009
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All through high school and college I've talked to multiple girls at a time and I've NEVER had a serious long term relationship. Learning game got me more girls at a time and helped me close those girls faster, which is exactly what I wanted, but I've never really gotten truly close to anyone. Seeing 5 girls at a time is really starting to get boring for me and I'd like to find a serious girlfriend, but I can't do it. I can get girls to want to fuck me, but I can't get them to want to date me. I can get them to cheat on their boyfriends with me, but I can't get them to leave their boyfriends for me. (when I say "date" I mean in an exclusive context ... not just casually and/or for sex) The list goes on.
I can get girls to want to fuck me, I can't get them to want to date me
My initial thought was an obvious lack of qualification and comfort, but looking at it, I DO qualify them and I do build comfort. I've had girls tell me very personal things and secrets about themselves, the kinds of things you tell to maybe 1 or 2 people, so apparently they do feel comfortable with me. On the other hand, my game is very "attraction heavy", I'm very good at showing preselection to the point where I have to purposely try not to show too much, I'm an athlete so I'm naturally cocky and funny and I like teasing girls, and so on. I also employ a lot of attraction throughout the relationship because that's just how my personality is (I am cocky and I do like to tease and play around), and I'll throw in something nice said/done every now and then just to keep it unpredictable.
Perhaps there's just not ENOUGH comfort? This is my only theory, but every time I think about it, YES there IS a lot of comfort building going on, so I'm stumped. Maybe no matter how much comfort there is, the logical part of the girls' minds just focus on the fact that no matter how much fun they have with me, I don't really seem like I'd be a good boyfriend, and it overrides everything else. I do project the image that I'm this arrogant "player" that dates a lot of girls at the same time - which is pretty accurate - and I try to squash that image as much as possible with girls I'm into but it never really works. Plus the fact that I've never had a "real" girlfriend and only really had casual sex partners means I don't really know how that particular game is played and when it comes to starting an exclusive relationship I probably have less experience than the average 16 year old kid.
So yeah, I'd like to know exactly what to work on. Comfort? Identity? Something else? This has really been starting to piss me off the past few weeks, really because I have no idea what specific area I'm lacking in and why my game is being thrown off. Or am I just a tool for saying I'd rather have one girl than 5?
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