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This girl ...
This girl seems to have started to ignore me... what do I do?
This girl who's in one of my classes at school, I've been hanging out with her and gone out with her a few times, and things have seemed pretty good at the time. She'd always say "text me" after hanging out/date, and we had some good kino going on. Then one day while texting her, her replies started to get really short/abrupt as if she didn't want to talk to me anymore. So, naturally, I backed off myself and didn't text her for 6-7 days. Next week at class when I see her, she almost seems to be ignoring me. Not like an angry kind of ignore, but more like... she's not interested in me anymore. She won't even really make eye contact with me anymore or talk to me, as if I'm just back to ground zero as some guy in her class. I really don't know why this happened though.
I really want her, but I feel that the harder I pull her the further away I'll get from her. She doesn't respond much to me. What can I do at this point after things seem to have dwindled before anything really happened? How do I make her attracted to me again? Should I ask her out somewhere again and try to re-build everything?
What I would guess she thinks about me is that I'm some n00b who doesn't have a lot of confidence, which is basically true, but I'm trying my best.
I think I can look back and probably see why my value has been lowered. I sort of have clinged to her to hang out with her and always been chasing her and she's never really gone after me, but she was at least responsive to me before and would initiate text conversations and stuff. But now is she maybe testing me and seeing what I do or is she really just not attracted/interested anymore?
I really have no idea what to do here, thanks.
Do not, I repeat DO NOT chase after her. This will only make it harder for you to get her. The best thing you can do to get her back is by using social value. Strike up conversations with other HB's in the class, make a joke that makes everyone laugh, look happy and content and share stories with your classmates, basically try becoming the life of the class. As of now, do not acknowledge her and try to ignore her. If you use social value correctly, she will come crawling back to you, and thats when...........you bang the shit out of her.
While I agree increasing your social value in the class will help you get this girl it may not be that easy for you to become the most popular one or loud one in the class all of a sudden.
I think this girl is ignoring you like you say to test you to see what you do. Sometimes girls will back away and not show any affection etc to see how you react, I've had this done to me in the past. When her text started to change you should have carried on as normal in my opinion, and ignoring her for 6/7 days was a mistake. If you can, what I would do is act as though nothing has changed between the 2 of you and talk to her as you normally would do, but whatever you do don't act needy or nervous.
Ask her out when you have built some attraction up again, at a high point in the conversation or something but do this in person.
Hope that helps you and let us know what you decide to do / or what happens.
Thanks both of you.
Question 1: dangerousD, I just saw her for the last time this week because I only have a class with her every Monday and Wednesday. I don't think I wanna wait 5 days to talk to her again, but right now striking up a conversation through text or call seems awkward or weird. Do I just wait 'til Monday or go ahead and text her or something? And If I do the latter, how can I make my text/call seem more natural and not needy?
Question 2: Also, there is this other girl in the same class who has lately been giving me huuuuge IOI's (I'll call her Girl B), and I do think she's cute, but I'm much more interested in this other girl who is ignoring me (Girl A). I have sort of been ignoring/non-receptive to Girl B though who is showing very consistent obvious interest in me, both because I'm just distracted by wanting Girl A and because I felt like I didn't want Girl A seeing me flirting/hooking up with Girl B. She just seems like the type of girl who wouldn't get jealous and want me but who would just be like "okay fuck him" or think I'm some player or something, and be even further turned off. Could that possibly be the case, or am I short-changing myself and should I take this opportunity to increase my status with Girl A? Will it for sure work if Girl A sees that Girl B is really into me? Is there any reason I shouldn't be flirting with Girl B? Everything I'd do with Girl B though would be to increase my chances with Girl A, I really don't care about Girl B. Any thoughts?
I am no expert all I can tell you is what I would do if I was in a similar situation. If you don’t want to wait till you see her next, then text her don’t call. Don’t ask her to do something out of the blue wait while you’ve got her laughing or invested in the text exchanges.
Text her something like: “I was walking through the park and saw a cute puppy/squirrel/animal and thought of you How are you?” or words to that affect. This is good because it will get her smiling and makes it look like there is a reason for you texting. Keep the rest of the texting upbeat and positive and ask her out on a high point with a low pressure date of some kind.
If she isn’t responding in the way that you think it would be a good idea to arrange a meet up, leave it or arrange a time to call her. If she is responding in a distant way just leave it completely and wait for a couple of days or until you see her next. You may have to come to terms with the fact that this girl is not interested anymore, try not to take it personally you have no idea what her reasons are. Just walk around campus looking at all the girls you can get instead, then you will realise this one girl is not the only one out there, you need to come from a place of abundance she is not the only girl you can get and move on.
I would seriously go with your gut feeling on this one jealousy only really works well in cold approach. If you hurt Girl B to get Girl A this will have repercussions because you will have to see her in lessons all the time and is unlikely to work. You could flirt with Girl B in front of Girl A but I would go on your gut feelings on this that she is unlikely to respond positively to it.
Hope that helps, let us know how it goes.
First of all, let me call out one thing: One-Itis!
I had a situation like this happen to me recently. To get over it, this is what I did:
Forget about her for a little while, go out and get other girls and raise your confidence to a new level (who knows, you may even forget completely about this girl), and then after a good while (until about the point where it seems like your meeting her again like new) come back a new man complete with confidence and then................... you bang the shit out of her.
This is pretty simple actually. Either:
Originally Posted by eveningninja
1 - She's trying to play "hard to get" because you've been out with her a few times and you haven't made a move yet. She's probably not sure if you're even interested and she wants you to chase her. Again, don't chase too hard, don't respond to these stupid games.
2 - She genuinely lost interest because you never made a move. 3 dates and lots of kino; why the hell didn't you kiss her already?
I strongly suspect this is the second case. Back off for a few weeks and try to reinitiate, this time, MAKE SURE you kiss her when you hang out. Otherwise, move on and take this as a lesson for next time. Mystery Method (now Love Systems) says it only takes 3 iois until she's ready to be kissed. You've had way more than that, so wtf were you waiting for - a neon sign??
Alright thanks guys. In hind sight it does seem like she was wondering why I haven't made my move.
Question 1: I don't really know how to smoothly initiate the kiss and always get nervous at these times. Let's say I manage to get her out on another date, and we are alone and kino has been established, etc., how do I kiss her without making it seem forced? What's a good basic system I can follow that will work if I do it correctly? Just anything, I need a plan or I will fail lol. Like, if you can just give me something like...
step 1: do this, step 2: do this, step 3: this, step 4: kiss, or whatever, something like that. I will feel a bit more at ease that I can at least get something done. Otherwise I probably won't do it cuz I'm a fucking pussy lol.
Question 2: Also, to be honest I've never really had a real kiss with a girl. I've had one before but I don't really consider it anything. Basically, I don't know how to kiss lol. I'm just afraid that my undeveloped kissing technique (or lack thereof) will turn her off. I mean it's clear now that she's already turned off and it would have been better to kiss poorly than not at all, but is there any way I can know what I'm doing at least somewhat? or do I just have to suck it up and do it?
And thanks again, you guys are all really helpful and you all have contributed greatly.
Thanks. One more thing:
I have no idea where/what to ask her out to. First time we got lunch together, second we went ice skating which was really fun and I probably could've kissed her then but didn't, then third time she texted me saying she was having a really bad day blah blah so I brought her some chocolate (the kind she said was her favorite) and hung out with her for a while at her place and in hind sight that is when I really should've made my move, but didn't like a retard.
I know we both had fun ice skating, and would love to go again with her some time, but do you think it would be lame to ask her again so soon? This is 2 weeks later by the way. It seems like a different date idea might be more exciting, but I'm not sure what some fun date ideas are =/
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