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Discuss So she left her fiance for me.. at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; So she left her fiance for me.. I met a girl in my Spring class. ...
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    So she left her fiance for me..

    I met a girl in my Spring class. She is a really down to earth kind of chick. She was engaged to a guy she dated almost 7 years. I persuaded her that marriage is not what she needs and she ended up leaving the guy back in March/April.

    We've hung out this entire year getting close and just doing whatever. We had sex last month.. on several occassions in different locations. She told me she likes me a lot and I told her I liked her (after she said it). I also said I wasn't ready for a relationship and neither was she since she just got out of a crazy LTR. She's met my parents, I've met hers kind of deal.. everything was perfect.

    Last 2 weeks she's been distancing herself (first time since we met in Jan). It's really pissed me off since things were getting real good. Turns out she's back with her ex. She used the term talking to not piss me off but then I said dating and she said yes. I'm left out in the cold.. she's the first girl in 2 years I wanted to date but was kind of nervous about making it official. I made her feel like shit after she told me because I was extremely hurt.

    To make things weirder I talked her into attending the same college this month.. instead of one 2 hours away. I don't really know how to handle this situation because we like each other but she's on an emotional roller coaster.

    Again, things were great and then poof she had a melt down one night and went to see him crying (I live 40 minutes away and she lives out in the country). He didn't even really try to win her back this whole time.. while we've had sex and whatever. Advice would be wonderful.



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    Vapor is offline Administrator Emeritus
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    I also said I wasn't ready for a relationship and neither was she since she just got out of a crazy LTR.
    Why did you say this?

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    wtf do you expect?? you wrenched this girl away from her bf of 7 years, and you're surprised that after a few months and some sex, she's gone back to him?

    cut your losses man. consider yourself lucky that you got to experience this girl, but i wouldnt count on anything else developing. move on
    Who you are speaks so loud that I can't hear what you're saying

    I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor - Thoreau

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    well man, it seems like you're making her feel like shit about herself... so no wonder she's going to another guy for comfort...

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    This chick is straight fucked up. You don't break a seven year relationship then bring it back together a few more months down the line. The truth is that this chick needs some help and you and this other guy should both reconsider your long term goals. Women are soooo fucked.
    :: Mirrors and Illusions - Reflections and Viewpoints ::

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    Quote Originally Posted by alekzander View Post
    This chick is straight fucked up. You don't break a seven year relationship then bring it back together a few more months down the line. The truth is that this chick needs some help and you and this other guy should both reconsider your long term goals. Women are soooo fucked.
    really? you dont think that a few months after splitting from a 7 yr relationship and having a rebound that you might be tempted to pick back up with your ex?? doesnt sound too far-fetched to me
    Who you are speaks so loud that I can't hear what you're saying

    I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor - Thoreau

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    She left her Fiance, not boyfriend, Fiance for you dude. Strike 1. Then you tell her afterwards your not ready for anything serious after leading her to break her engagement off, so in essecence a waste of her time. Strike 2. Then you get upset as soon as she goes back to her ex, which is really the best thing for the both of you. You only want her now because you can't have her I think, and I could be wrong.

    Hope whatever choice you make works our for you.

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    Lol lol lol. Its the first thread in months Ive seen that has quite some dilemma. I could describe you an almost identical scenario that happened to me.

    Anywhoo, I think you're more confused than her. I think SCARED is the proper term. When single and having a party lifestyle for a long time you have created some walls towards relationships. I personally think this is the "ancient VIP lifestyle". If they can have a lot of girls and spread their semen they would get subconscious mechanisms to stop them from stopping doing this.

    Said that you have to make a decision.
    If you wanna be with this girl, you have to be more fluid in comfort. I noticed myself that during what I call "the party lifestyle", we never really master comfort. All we do is master attraction, build some comfort and bam try to score. As a personal advice, I say let go partly of your attraction mechanisms that make you de-attached. You've already showed you're dominant, try to show some emotions to, dont be afraid to be hurt.

    If you dont wanna be with this girl... hmm then just dont, you already scored her, so like an ancient man would do, go back to your cave and off to some more hunting. Where Im from they say "The Chase is better than the Catch"
    "Psychology is an essential ingredient so that logic dominates emotions, and the human dominates the animal"

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    I wouldn't expect her to go cold turkey and not see her ex after that long together. It's something that has to drift apart in time, and you can't expect her not to sleep with him. The relationship would've had to have been over emotionally for her to walk out and not look back.

    For now, the best thing to do is not say much about it to her, put her down, or criticize him. Let her know you'll be around if she wants to get together.

    This month, she might either start thinking of ending it with him, she might think of working on the relationship harder.

    But persuading her to get out of a relationship is a challenge when her relationship's been over 5 years.

    But the more cool you are about it, not getting upset and just going "let me know what you're doing, call me when you're not busy" without interest in her fiance or whatever he is at this stage - you're still in the running until she actually says "I want to work on the relationship with him, we've had too much time together to throw it away.". Just tell her "good luck" and still make the offer to hang out some time. And if she does get together and just want to talk, if she starts going on about her bf, tell her "that's the one subject we shouldn't talk about."

    Quote Originally Posted by Xidane View Post
    I met a girl in my Spring class. She is a really down to earth kind of chick. She was engaged to a guy she dated almost 7 years. I persuaded her that marriage is not what she needs and she ended up leaving the guy back in March/April.

    We've hung out this entire year getting close and just doing whatever. We had sex last month.. on several occassions in different locations. She told me she likes me a lot and I told her I liked her (after she said it). I also said I wasn't ready for a relationship and neither was she since she just got out of a crazy LTR. She's met my parents, I've met hers kind of deal.. everything was perfect.

    Last 2 weeks she's been distancing herself (first time since we met in Jan). It's really pissed me off since things were getting real good. Turns out she's back with her ex. She used the term talking to not piss me off but then I said dating and she said yes. I'm left out in the cold.. she's the first girl in 2 years I wanted to date but was kind of nervous about making it official. I made her feel like shit after she told me because I was extremely hurt.

    To make things weirder I talked her into attending the same college this month.. instead of one 2 hours away. I don't really know how to handle this situation because we like each other but she's on an emotional roller coaster.

    Again, things were great and then poof she had a melt down one night and went to see him crying (I live 40 minutes away and she lives out in the country). He didn't even really try to win her back this whole time.. while we've had sex and whatever. Advice would be wonderful.

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