Discuss What the hell is going on?? at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Originally Posted by sooner999
If she wanted me so bad why would she not come ...
FORGET ABOUT SATURDAY. You have her in front of you TODAY. Give her some bogus reason to get her out of the building. Kiss her in the elevator if you are alone, or take a walk and KISS her when alone.
Originally Posted by sooner999
The problem is you chase her, she retreats, and then you freeze her out. You are effectively punishing her for reacting normally to your unattractive behavior.
If you would ask her out in a calibrated way you wouldn't have a problem.
Don't do the push up against the wall thing. She's not sure about you yet and it could have an unintended effect.
I'm not sure what you are suggesting I do then. I dont chase too hard but I do need to escalate. Last week she had put herself out there by admitting she does like me but also admitting where her hesitation was coming from. Ultimatley she said she was willing to take the chance. So I ask her out. She blows me off then sulks about it. I dont know what I did or am doing wrong. I like framstory's advice but he doesnt seem to understand that this girl wont let herself be alone with me. She won't allow the situation to occur becuase she knows I will try to make a move.
Originally Posted by Vapor
Are you saying my punishment is the wrong move? And what do you mean a 'calibrated' way?
Also--she is throwing some attitude at me today. What gives?
This is you establishing a "I am chasing you" frame:
Since you're chasing her, she runs away. Then you run a transparent jealousy plotline, and she gets annoyed.
Me: Plans tonight?
Her: None, you?
Me: Good. That means you can come out with me
You need to:
1. Stop chasing.
2. Stop being so available.
3. Stop trying to set up dates for a couple weeks, so you can "reset" thing negative association she has with you trying to get her to go out with you.
This girl is supremely insecure about you. Her flaking is just an attempt to try and rebuild her value in your eyes.
You know what? Everyone in this thread is right, she is prime for escalation. But you have to be an alpha and DO IT. You can't feel awkward about any of your decisions that you make with her because then she'll use it as bait against you.
You've been doing absolutely fine in your game in almost every aspect, just make sure you don't get affected by her flaking. Perhaps she actually did fall asleep. The point is, she said she wished she could be with you (oh please. like it wasn't about you.), lets you know that her subconscious is attached to you like a hungry leech.
You just need to take full advantage. Don't be affected by her attitude. You're the better person in this situation.
Anonzy, you realize you and Vapor are saying the complete oppostie thing, right? He tells me to back off, you tell me to be Alpha an escalate. Herein lies the paradox. Is it even possible to escalate whilst at the same time not 'chasing' her?
Originally Posted by anonzy
Im by far not even close to an expert. Vapor has had a track record of incredible information on this site for a long long time.
Originally Posted by sooner999
Just based of that im leaning toward his point of view
There is something to be said for just trying your best and learning from your mistakes. So whatever you do you will come up better off. Take this as a learning lesson. You cannot really put too much faith on advice from a forum. We cannot see what social dynamics is actually going on? You don't know her side of the story. use this as a learning experience to improve your social calibration.
What ever happened to that guy that had her on cloud 9? If that was all a game and you fell for that trickery thats an issue. If things fizzled out between them in a matter of days thats an issue. Honestly, tell me why you like this girl and dont mention anything about her physical attractiveness.
Sooner, I think you jealous plotline was a real mistake. She had no plans and yet tells you about your hansome face. To me that seems like an invitation. The she fb'ed that she wished she could be with 'a certain guy' that night. She has an obvious attraction toward you, but I get the sense you are lacking a bit of boldness to take action, physically. You're priming her pump but leaving her flat. That's why she's acting all weird. Remember Mystery's 7 hours, you're like at 7000 hours. You might just have to chalk this up to a failed mission and be more bold next time. Just my 2 cents...
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