I'm starting to have feelings for a friend w/ benefits

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  1. #1
    a11111 is offline .
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    I'm starting to have feelings for a friend w/ benefits

    Been just friends for a few months, hooked up with her the first date but neither of us wanted a relationship so we became friends with benefits. She got a boyfriend a couple months in and continually cheated on him with me before they broke up. I've talked to other girls the entire time and never really thought of this girl as anything more than a friend.

    For some reason I'm starting to have really strong feelings for her lately though. I like her a lot and I can't stand the thought of her hooking up with anyone else. I don't want her to be my girlfriend though (this option is off the table). Do I need to just cut off all contact with her until I stop liking her so much? Has this happened to anyone else?



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    Well. Other type of backfire, unexpected, ehmm ?

    Why exactly you "don't want her to be your's girlfriend" ?
    You think other women are better ?

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    Normally, I'd say the first rule of fuck buddies is don't fall in love. But I need more info here. How'd you meet? How did the idea to become fuck buddies and not in a relationship come about? How'd she feel about it? How long did her and her boyfriend date? Why did they break up? What do you two do when you hang out besides have sex? Any indication from her at all that she feels the same way?

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    a11111 is offline .
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    Quote Originally Posted by returner308 View Post
    Why exactly you "don't want her to be your's girlfriend" ?
    You think other women are better ?
    No. She lives in my hometown and I'm only here for summer/christmas/vacations since I'm still in college, and I'm not looking for a long distance thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by CMPitts View Post
    Normally, I'd say the first rule of fuck buddies is don't fall in love. But I need more info here. How'd you meet? How did the idea to become fuck buddies and not in a relationship come about? How'd she feel about it? How long did her and her boyfriend date? Why did they break up? What do you two do when you hang out besides have sex? Any indication from her at all that she feels the same way?
    She's more a "friend with benefits" than a "fuck buddy" in that sex is definitely not the main thing we do. We talk a lot and hang out and do things that friends do, just with kissing and sex added in. We didn't really "decide" to not be in a relationship, it just kinda worked out that way because of the long distance thing and not seeing each other that much but still being attracted to each other. She likes me as more than a friend but we both know the distance kills the possibility of a relationship so we're kinda in this limbo area where neither of us really knows what we're doing. I get pissed off when I think about her with other guys and she freaks out when she thinks/knows I'm with another girl.

    She dated the other guy for like 2-3 weeks. She said it ended with him because she still liked me the entire time, she was a lot more distant in those weeks but we still talked and hooked up on occasion. She says she still likes him a little but she'd rather have me if she could.

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    Hate to tell you this bro, but you've got a girlfriend.

    And if she cheated on the last one with you, what makes you think she wouldn't do the same to you?

    Are you actively hooking up with other girls, or has your sarging stopped because of her?

    Careful of the dreaded ONE-ITIS! I only say that because I used to get it pretty bad, and nothing good comes from it, only pain and frustration.

    The Geetis

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    a11111 is offline .
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Geetis View Post
    Hate to tell you this bro, but you've got a girlfriend.

    And if she cheated on the last one with you, what makes you think she wouldn't do the same to you?

    Are you actively hooking up with other girls, or has your sarging stopped because of her?

    Careful of the dreaded ONE-ITIS! I only say that because I used to get it pretty bad, and nothing good comes from it, only pain and frustration.

    The Geetis
    She's not my girlfriend dude, I expressly told her I didn't want a girlfriend. And both of us understand that it'd never happen anyway because we live 200 miles apart.

    I haven't stopped talking to other girls at all, last weekend I had 2 dates in one day, then went to a sports bar with my buddies and #closed 2 new girls. I've done the one-itis thing before and it'll never happen again.

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    So in an interesting development, I saw her today, we had a huge argument, and I decided to just delete her number and stop talking to her, that's the only way I'll stop liking her. I was disappointed it had to end like that but oh well, it's done.

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