Discuss Cold Approach "Game" VS Social Circle "Game": An examination at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; Cold Approach "Game" VS Social Circle "Game": An examination
This is gonna be a long ...
Cold Approach "Game" VS Social Circle "Game": An examination
This is gonna be a long post guys, it's not a question post but my thoughts on why I have basically given up on cold approach.
Now onto the important stuff. I always thought that even though I'm naturally good with girls, I'd take a bootcamp someday to see why through cold approach I really can't get the hottest of the hottest girls in the bar.
My game is very similar to Russell Brand's personality as I'm very witty, constantly tooling the girls and just constant flirting and telling them I want to sleep with them while smiling. And to be honest, cold approach wise, I do very well.
But to get a true "10" through cold approach, your game has to be MONSTROUS and most likely even then it's not gonna happen. Sorry to burst someone's bubble who thinks Mr.M or Braddock can do it constantly from cold approach, they can't. And if you ask them they would agree.
Now last weekend I had a party at my boy's house for one of our friends who was turning 21. Seeing that it was my boy W's crib, and he was being the DJ, I took it upon myself to man the keg, collect money, delegate responsibilities etc. We had probably 80 people there, and I got to met every single one.
We put the keg in a small room in his house and I was distributing the beer all night, constantly messing with my friends, tooling every girl, just flat out being a G in ever sense of the word. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
There's a girl in our social circle who looks like Megan Fox. She has not been giving me the time of day. At the party she slipped me her phone number and said "J can you please call me this week". She knows I have a GF mind you.
EVERY SINGLE GIRL AT THE PARTY WAS UP FOR GRABS FOR ME. LIKE LITERALLY I COULD HAVE FUCKED ANY GIRL THERE. IN MY HEAD I WAS LIKE "W-T-F I'VE BEEN GOING OUT HITTING ON ALL THESE GIRLS AT THE BARS WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN BANGING 10s with NO PROBLEM".
Three reasons why this works:
1. The girl has to be 100% polite to you as it is your house, or your friends house. Immediately her bitchiness goes down too as you seem to be normal and non-creepy even if you guys have a loose affiliation or knowledge of each other.
2. Value difference is skewed DRASTICALLY IN YOUR FAVOR. When you're at a party like I was and you seem to be the most high-value guy out of 100 dudes there, you basically become Justin Timberlake. Even if the guys walking in are like male models, they have to defer to you, be polite, give you $, etc etc etc. You could align w them and look even better, and if not, innately your value is higher.
3. Passive attraction is super generated and observed DHVs are more powerful. The girls saw pre-selection when like 50 girls over the course of the night were coming up to me, kissing me on the cheek, laughing at my jokes and hitting my arm. This is much better than telling them your last GF picked you up in a yellow Lambo from her photo shoot. (Love you Savoy )
Overall guys, if your game is like mine, which I'd say in cold approach is a solid 8.5, you're wasting alot of time and resources by working on it anymore. Any dude who bangs really hot girls most likely (99%) meets them via social circles. Now I'm going to simply work on throwing parties every week because the quality of girl looks-wise is simply so much higher. I really believe that if you compared my game to any dude who bangs really hot girls, odds are we are nearly the same or my game might be better. But they get those girls because they work at a hot club, or work at a modeling agency, bartend at a strip club, etc etc etc.
Mr.M said it best, for true 10 Game its all about access. Now go create some guys.
Social Circle > Cold Approach Game if your game is good, and if it sucks, social circle >>>>> cold approach.
Watch Braddock's videos on college game, they are PURE FREE GOLD.
I spent alot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
This is a false dichotomy. Both methods are effective, but you are seriously disadvantaging yourself by chosing to exercise one over the other. It limits your options, so when you do happen to be out and see a woman that you would really like to meet you don't have the confidence or the skills to pull it off in that kind of situation.
I'm amazed by the number of false dichotomies I've heard talked about in the community:
Cold approach vs social circle game, cold approach vs warm approach, direct game vs indirect game, inner game vs outer game, adam lyons game vs mystery method.
These are all things I've heard as the titles to forum threads. They're all useful aspects of the game and none of them should be used to the exclusion of the other.
I'm not saying they should all be learned at once to result in an overload of information, but you should still remain open to other methods and aspects of the game otherwise you are just disabling yourself.
The true test of a pua is ''cold approaches''
How much time and what resources are required to do a cold approach?
Overall guys, if your game is like mine, which I'd say in cold approach is a solid 8.5, you're wasting alot of time and resources by working on it anymore
Having worked with Adam Lyons personally all I can say is
I first met AFC Adam Lyons in London in February 2008 when he gave a talk at an inexpensive "taster" seminar regarding the three levels of Game and Social Circle Game
I took on board what he was talking about especially Meta Game as it was something I'd unconciously been using.
The first being Cold Approaching- which is about 98% of the PUA Community
The second being Meta Game-which is where a PUA Cold Approaches BUT uses Strategy to play the Club Off against one another and uses people's "percieved" perception of a guy having Social Proof, Pre-selection and a Social Circle.
The third being Entourage Game- whereby a PUA carefully selects and builds a Social Circle from scratch. AFC Adam was noted for only bringing out an all female Entourage of at least 10 Attractive girls- which brought him a Wealth of Social Proof that Money cannot buy, Pre-selection, VIP Access (as clubs favour guys who bring in "good product" to the club).
I think Cold Approaching is under-rated as it does build character (providing you take bold steps). In fact I learnt more in 3 months of going out solo than I did 5 years od going out with an all Male troupe.
However long term I think its vital to Master Social Circle Building as it kills so many birds with one stone.
In fact non PUA guys who (like AFC Adam) have a higher ratio of Hot Females have Naturally Mastered Social Circle Game because they have the Social Intelligence, the Resources and the Party Contacts and the experience to not have to learn PUA.
I think Amorphous is on the right track (if what he says in his thread is a true event) and that he's come to the realisation of the importance of organising or taking part in an event and reaping the Social Proof.
In fact on ANOTHER forum some guys mentioned how they took a break from PUA indefinately, to focus on becoming a DJ at a Nightclub.
Much to their suprise they never returned to PUA as DJ-ing got them far more pussy than any other attempt at bettering their fortunes with women.
i think what you're truly dreading is night game, which i'm not a big fan of either. cold approaching during night time is like a high school popularity contest all over again.
besides, everyone goes out to get away from the their problems.
all the real quality girls resides in grocery stores, coffee shops, and bookstores. when they're out and about during the day time they leave their bitch shields at home.
i can't remember the last time a girl was rude to me during the day, but they're always rude at bars and clubs. i mean even the fuckin ugly girls try to act all hard in clubs and at bars hahaha, like seriously?
point being, cold approach done right is gangsta as fuck and it is the bread and butter of game.
Not everyone starts out with a good social circle/has a good social circle to work from. In fact, I'd guess most of the people who get into pick up don't.
Even if you do have a good social circle now you're eventually going to work your way through it. House parties only work for so long until they go from being keggers to the sort where you're expected to byob and are tame little things with food. (I think this is largely an age factor, although I do know some older folk who still "party it up.")
Not to mention you might not aways be in a spot where you do have a social circle. What if you get a new job in a city where you don't know anyone? If all you have to fall back on is social circle game you're going to be screwed.
This is the reason why I think everyone who gets into this should learn cold approach, it makes you self sufficient which in turn helps with your inner game. Whether or not you stick with cold-approach seems to be a personal choice.
At the moment I go out and do cold approach until I build a few contacts and then work the social circles. Then when I get bored go back out and do the same thing over. Gives me variety and access to others in those circles (non bar/club types) without having to spend the time doing cold approach in the day. Where as doing cold approach in the day can lead to wasted time by picking the wrong place or time resulting in not that many women to game.
Iím an author, traveler, and movie addict.
^ I understand doing cold approach/social circle hybrid.
But overall I can just get infinitely hotter girls than anyone doing cold approach via my social circle. And yes, cold approach was necessary for me and my friend to meet enough girl groups to bring to parties, but now as Braddock says, we were planting seeds and now we can eat well for a long time to come, vs. cold approach which is hunting.
In my opinion I really gotta question a person/instructor's credibility if he says all he does is cold approach/SNL because he really has to have no friends and a total inability to keep friends because cold approach has got nothing on social circle. Yea it's fun, for sport cold approach is fun. Hotter girls is 100% social circle.
I spent alot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
Start out with one? No-one ever had a Social Circle, BUT they did have a "Peer Group" which may have lead to a Social Circle being formed.
Originally Posted by YouWish99
Unfortunetly I never had a peer group as my Father had this excellent idea of moving me to different parts of the Country no less than 3 times during my early and late Teens, not giving a shit about my Education, the Schools I would enroll in, having an Emotional Connection with friends, associating with a Peer Group, Girlfriends, Family Members.
I'm still only recovering now and boy did I do some Needy embaressing things things to try and "fit in". In hindsight I should've worked on being an awesome person that Attracted people like a Magnet.
Now I am working on it though. I've joined clubs, taken up new hobbies, going back into Adult Education etc.
As for your point, Youwish99, about moving to a different City that's fine providing you have internalised successful habits of making friends, Connecting with people Emotionally (yes even guys Emotionally Connect), have a Career/Qualifications under your belt.
Basically if you had a soild foundation and had a successful, "launch" in life you'd be fine.
But for me I didn't- so thats why I am using PUA and Forums.
I think you missed my point because you just basically repeated what I said.
Originally Posted by Fame2Advancement
Amorphous, so what's your point? You can't really get the full benefit picking one over the other. Not to mention everyone isn't in your same situation. In fact there are many times where social circle just isn't possible, but if that's all you know...
Now if you're talking about college, then yeah, social circle is a no brainer. If you're in college and live on campus you should never have to do a single cold approach if you don't want to do so. You game will suffer and you'll have to go through it all again if you don't have the skills to cold approach.
If you come across an instructor who's just doing cold approach there could be a number of reasons for it.
It's what the instructor developed and is comfortable with. Why mess with something that works?
It's what the instructor specializes in and teaches.
They are just in it for the rush they get from the hunt. Social circle isn't always going to give you that.
If an instructor is only doing cold approach it is still valid unless they are saying social circle does not exist or does not work.
Do you ask a math teacher a history question and expect them to know the answer? No. Just because the math teacher doesn't know the answer does it make him any less of a math teacher? Nope.
How could you possibly know you can get hotter girls via social circle? In your current circle, perhaps, but if you're in the process of forming another social circle you likely have know idea what her other friends even look like.
Otherwise all it sounds like is you've picked a type of game that really works for you (because your cold approach is pretty good, but no way can you get those 10's going that route) and you're just telling us how you know and can get hot girls you already know. That's a subjective statement at best.
Let's say you can get a 10 through social circle game, but the best you have access to is a 7.5 and through cold approach you know you can get 8's. Then what?
Let's say you learn cold approach and your instructor can't get that 10, or on that particular day is unable to. Does that mean if you learn cold approach it's a fluke if you get a 10? Shouldn't the student eventually become the master given enough time with the proper tools and dedication?
Iím an author, traveler, and movie addict.
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