Patience, Habits, and Becoming Aloof: Some Thoughts
Itís been a while since Iíve made a post. Call me lazy if you want, but I have to want to write when the mood strikes. As luck would have it, the mood struck the night before finals week. So as I chomp down on shitty pizza and pen this one out, enjoy your week, and get ready for some serious Christmas/New Years sarging.
I want you to think about your hobbies right now. Or more specifically, your favorite hobby, be it playing the guitar, Mariokart (thatís right MiLLo, I still own you in Mariokart), kick boxing, or dirt biking. My favorite hobby is bicycling. Actual mountain biking. It started out as something where I could spend time with my dad after he left my mom. From there, it kept snowballing until we would go every chance we could get.
My pops and I would find an old railroad track, and ride some 40-50 miles on a given weekend, have a blast, shoot the shit, and perhaps, grab a beer afterwards. Plus it really gives you time to think about your life. When we first started out, we could only do about 2 miles before we had to take a break. Several weeks later, we were up to about 5. A few more weeks, and now we could do 10.
It took months before we could even do the large trails, some 20+ miles without crying like little girls about our legs hurting. Eventually after a solid year of biking hardcore, it prepared us to take a trip from Pittsburgh to Washington D.C. and back in 12 days (~450 miles round trip).
Now letís think about this for a second. If we tried to do the DC trip during the first month, we would have never made it past day 2. Sure it would have shown a lot of balls to even attempt it, but we would look pretty stupid on day 3 when we are both out of juice. It took a long long long ass time for our legs to be built up sufficiently enough to make it that whole distance.
How does this connect to your game?
Iíve seen a lot of newbies out there who go out and try to bite off more than they can chew on the first night/week/month. They go out and buy every piece of literature they can find on pickup, and immense themselves in theory which, of course, causes analysis paralysis. They run out with uncalibrated negs (insults) and use them on half the club. They come on way too strong, when they donít know how to hold back and let the woman come to you. They make stupid beginners mistakes in their eagerness, instead of holding back, and using their brains for just a minute.
In no way am I trying to discourage you from gaining experience, as this is the greatest factor in the time it takes for you to make it big. What I am saying is if you are new to the game, or even a few-month regular, use your time wisely. Going out and trying everything under the sun in one night isnít going to get you better. Going out and saying to yourself, ďTonight, Iím going to work on my openers, thatís it. Anything else is gravy, but I want to get my openers downĒ is the way to go. Work on little bits. The reason why most guys quit pickup is because they get overwhelmed too fast.
Take little bites. Start with your 5 miles before you try 10. Get your openers down before you practice push/pulls. Work on your DHV stories before you try deep comfort routines. Once you get the little bits of attraction, comfort, and opening techniques down, you can bring it all together to be the Superman of Poon, the Sultan of Swoon, the Conqueror of Clam, and so on and so forth.
Make your routines part of your habits. In fact, make talking to a woman part of your habit. Go out of your way to talk to the hottie across the bar/street. Once it becomes habit, you are less likely to deviate from it. Once it is consistent with your personality, you will see your success rate go up drastically. Why? Because now, my friend, you are congruent. Nothing will seem like a faÁade when it comes to engaging you. And trust me, it will drive the chicks crazy.
Finally, I want to say a little bit about the nature of aloofness, at least the way I use it, they way I was taught how to use it. Aloofness is a part of mystery, and we all know an air of mystery drives chicks crazy. When Iím gaming, Iím not too quick to offer up information.
Such as my name. I make chicks work for it. I make them work for anything they get from me. Why do I do this? It sets you up as a challenge. Suddenly, you are this mysterious rare guy whose value is so much higher than anybody elseís. You are not some typical guy who wants to make a desperate connection because you donít have any options, no no no. When you be a little difficult (hint: not a jackass, have a smile on your face, be playful), the girls will think several things about you: A) you must have a lot of girls around to not care about connecting with her. B) you must have a lot of experience. C) you must be a really fun guy to have around. And D) your wiener must be the size of a space shuttle. By the way, all of these are true.
The next time you are in set, be a little more aloof. Make her work for your attention. It will drive her crazy trying to figure out why you donít respond like a typical guy. She wonít know itís because you are far from typical, you are a fucking MAN amongst boys.
So quick recap: Control yourself. Get your method set. Work out a plan for your success and stick to it. If you plan to open 5 sets that night, well you better fuckiní do it before I come there and make you do it. Finally, no one likes excuses, so donít even start to bring that shit here. You are a man, be accountable for your actions and your faults. A good PUA is the sum of his habits. A good PUA has the patience to try and fail, try again, and fail, try again, and finally succeed. Finally, a little bit of aloofness goes a long way into attracting a chick. Experiment with it, and find out yourself.
You are everything that you want or hope to be. You just have to reach out and grab it.