Thread: Patience, Habits, and Becoming Aloof: Some Thoughts

Hey duders,

It’s been a while since I’ve made a post. Call me lazy if you want, but I have to want to write when the mood strikes. As luck would have it, the mood struck the night before finals week. So as I chomp down on shitty pizza and pen this one out, enjoy your week, and get ready for some serious Christmas/New Years sarging.

I want you to think about your hobbies right now. Or more specifically, your favorite hobby, be it playing the guitar, Mariokart (that’s right MiLLo, I still own you in Mariokart), kick boxing, or dirt biking. My favorite hobby is bicycling. Actual mountain biking. It started out as something where I could spend time with my dad after he left my mom. From there, it kept snowballing until we would go every chance we could get.

My pops and I would find an old railroad track, and ride some 40-50 miles on a given weekend, have a blast, shoot the shit, and perhaps, grab a beer afterwards. Plus it really gives you time to think about your life. When we first started out, we could only do about 2 miles before we had to take a break. Several weeks later, we were up to about 5. A few more weeks, and now we could do 10.

It took months before we could even do the large trails, some 20+ miles without crying like little girls about our legs hurting. Eventually after a solid year of biking hardcore, it prepared us to take a trip from Pittsburgh to Washington D.C. and back in 12 days (~450 miles round trip).

Now let’s think about this for a second. If we tried to do the DC trip during the first month, we would have never made it past day 2. Sure it would have shown a lot of balls to even attempt it, but we would look pretty stupid on day 3 when we are both out of juice. It took a long long long ass time for our legs to be built up sufficiently enough to make it that whole distance.

How does this connect to your game?

I’ve seen a lot of newbies out there who go out and try to bite off more than they can chew on the first night/week/month. They go out and buy every piece of literature they can find on pickup, and immense themselves in theory which, of course, causes analysis paralysis. They run out with uncalibrated negs (insults) and use them on half the club. They come on way too strong, when they don’t know how to hold back and let the woman come to you. They make stupid beginners mistakes in their eagerness, instead of holding back, and using their brains for just a minute.

In no way am I trying to discourage you from gaining experience, as this is the greatest factor in the time it takes for you to make it big. What I am saying is if you are new to the game , or even a few-month regular, use your time wisely. Going out and trying everything under the sun in one night isn’t going to get you better. Going out and saying to yourself, “Tonight, I’m going to work on my openers, that’s it. Anything else is gravy, but I want to get my openers down” is the way to go. Work on little bits. The reason why most guys quit pickup is because they get overwhelmed too fast.

Take little bites. Start with your 5 miles before you try 10. Get your openers down before you practice push/pulls. Work on your DHV stories before you try deep comfort routines. Once you get the little bits of attraction , comfort , and opening techniques down, you can bring it all together to be the Superman of Poon, the Sultan of Swoon, the Conqueror of Clam, and so on and so forth.

Make your routines part of your habits. In fact, make talking to a woman part of your habit. Go out of your way to talk to the hottie across the bar/street. Once it becomes habit, you are less likely to deviate from it. Once it is consistent with your personality, you will see your success rate go up drastically. Why? Because now, my friend, you are congruent. Nothing will seem like a façade when it comes to engaging you. And trust me, it will drive the chicks crazy.

Finally, I want to say a little bit about the nature of aloofness, at least the way I use it, they way I was taught how to use it. Aloofness is a part of mystery, and we all know an air of mystery drives chicks crazy. When I’m gaming, I’m not too quick to offer up information.

Such as my name. I make chicks work for it. I make them work for anything they get from me. Why do I do this? It sets you up as a challenge. Suddenly, you are this mysterious rare guy whose value is so much higher than anybody else’s. You are not some typical guy who wants to make a desperate connection because you don’t have any options, no no no. When you be a little difficult (hint: not a jackass, have a smile on your face, be playful), the girls will think several things about you: A) you must have a lot of girls around to not care about connecting with her. B) you must have a lot of experience. C) you must be a really fun guy to have around. And D) your wiener must be the size of a space shuttle. By the way, all of these are true.

The next time you are in set, be a little more aloof. Make her work for your attention. It will drive her crazy trying to figure out why you don’t respond like a typical guy. She won’t know it’s because you are far from typical, you are a fucking MAN amongst boys.

So quick recap: Control yourself. Get your method set. Work out a plan for your success and stick to it. If you plan to open 5 sets that night, well you better fuckin’ do it before I come there and make you do it. Finally, no one likes excuses, so don’t even start to bring that shit here. You are a man, be accountable for your actions and your faults. A good PUA is the sum of his habits. A good PUA has the patience to try and fail, try again, and fail, try again, and finally succeed. Finally, a little bit of aloofness goes a long way into attracting a chick. Experiment with it, and find out yourself.

You are everything that you want or hope to be. You just have to reach out and grab it.

Make your routines part of your habits. In fact, make talking to a woman part of your habit. Go out of your way to talk to the hottie across the bar/street. Once it becomes habit, you are less likely to deviate from it. Once it is consistent with your personality, you will see your success rate go up drastically. Why? Because now, my friend, you are congruent. Nothing will seem like a façade when it comes to engaging you. And trust me, it will drive the chicks crazy.

Congruency is very important. When you are congruent women will give you an easier time as they will trust you more. They will comply with you and follow your lead/instructions.
The only way to become congruent is as CM says; by making something a habit. You can only be comfortable with a new way of doing things if you have practiced it.

Good post CM, I enjoyed reading it!

Hehe that reminds me of something. Great post man as usual.

Thanks man, this is inspirational.

Like! Great post.

Finally, I want to say a little bit about the nature of aloofness, at least the way I use it, they way I was taught how to use it. Aloofness is a part of mystery, and we all know an air of mystery drives chicks crazy. When I’m gaming, I’m not too quick to offer up information.

If I may I want to add that if you need to choose between high energy, warm and friendly, versus aloof, indifferent and under-investing, you should choose the first one.
Just so new guys won't take your words out of context.

Great post, man. I wish all the noobs would read this before reporting back that this shit is fake or they are giving up or they are no match for the good-looking guys.

i found those thoughts so true man, awesome post

Kelly - Thanks for the addition.

Silver - Thanks brutha

Boca - Means a lot, appreciate it.

Voodooz - You are a man of wisdom and good taste!

Slayer - Don't we all?

Subtle - Thanks man, appreciate it.

2 thumbs up.

i like

Outstanding post. Outstanding thoughts.

You are wise beyond your years ...