Discuss How to "Not give a shit" at the General Discussion within the The Attraction Forums. Dating Advice.; How to "Not give a shit"
I find myself way to worried of what people ...
How to "Not give a shit"
I find myself way to worried of what people think of me, i spend alot of time, probably way to much time on my appearnce, my hair, the whole nine...I'm often worried about approaching girls and my college in fear of what they might think of me, and also afraid to initiate conversation with alot of people at my school in general of fear of them thinking "who is this random loser kid talking to us?" I feel like im a decent looking guy, 7 maybe an 8, but i just feel like for whatever reason i'm just worried of what others think...I feel like my inner-game is almost there, aside from this issue...
Also, there i'm a little self conciouss of my smile, so i often don't show teeth when i smile and talk somewhat strangely not to show my teeth, even though i have decent teeth I just think my smile / mouth is kinda weird so i compensate for it, how do i get over these issues?
Any help is very much appreciated.
Really been there, and still theres a little bit some times... but thats completely natural.
Not sure how i got over it or partly over it.. but its about understanding thats you are the center of your life.. and you do the stuff you do for no one else than yourself and getting a better lifestyle
when you are worried about your looks.. your smile.. and your whatever.. you are actually handing the control of how you feel about yourself over to other people.. witch is.....
anyway... few books i got recommended is
psycho cybernetics by maxwell maltz
Pulling Your Own Strings by Wayne W. Dyer
Your Erroneous Zones by Wayne W. Dyer
I am trapped in a maze. I can either lie down and die.. or I can explore my way through it.
I have almost the same issue.
It falls on me pretty much a lot.
I believe that dependancy on external validation kills your attractiveness and more over, makes you some kind of a creep.
In addition, not smilin openly, will push girls away, because you are not able to create that sincere emotional connection they are striving for.
Books help, but short-term.
In long-term the only way to succeed is to fuck up so badly with girls so you just will not give a heck after.
So if i'm scared of showing my teeth in the open - i do exactly it. I show my teeth in the open.
If you are afraid of being put down - go head and DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF.
Worked for me. Will work for you.
You have to understand that it does not matter what people think of you. Other people are just statists in your life. (excluding really close friends of course)
What i have done to get this into my brain is setting myself in situations where people look at me in that "Wtf?" way. Like walking down a street and suddently jumping.
Or my personal favourite: sticking a finger in your nose and walk past a bus stop or just down the street. At first its SCARY. Like really, really fucking scary. Then it gets better, and now its just fun. I escalata this stuff all the time, now i try to look people in the eyes while doing this. Takes scary to a whole new level...
Barbaris and Sneaky Carpet are right. Books will do shit-all in the long run.
Gradually expose yourself to scary situations until they don't bother you anymore. Then you won't give a fuck. Simple as.
I really appreciate the advice, i guess you guys are right...I just gotta commit and do what i fear most no matte the consequence. I'm going to work alot more on just enjoying myself more, and make sure i give off the "I don't care what you think of me" vibe as best i can.
Everyone's critical, whether it's ourselves, or to others.
Solution to smiling, just take a lot of photos of yourself and get used to how you look and what your best angle is. Put the photo on a dating website or Hot or Not and let yourself be critiqued. You'll get a mix of answers.
Yes, there are women out there going "who is this loser talking to me", but very very few are ever going to say it to your face. If they do, there's a compatibility issue going on. You're not out of her league, she's not out of your league, you're kind of mismatched. Down inside, you feed her ego and she is actually flattered, but then generalizes it as "all guys want me". Mostly insecure chicks do this.
Know you have value, self-worth, and plan on kicking ass and taking names, but the world doesn't know it yet. Don't feel you're decent looking, believe it every day.
If someone hasn't accomplished something in their life and they want to judge me, they know little to nothing about me. If they took 10 minutes to hear what I have to say about me and keep their interest level high, I guarantee I've changed opinions and their first impressions in that time. If I don't put myself, my energy, and my vibe of having a good time out there, I'm like the invisible man in the room. Sometimes it's nice to chill, have a drink, watch what's on TV at the bar, but in a high energy place, it's kind of this exaggerated sense of self that you should lose yourself in. So many people in a dance club are BS artists, male and female. Have a good time wherever you go, no one knows who you are outside of there, and when you cross the ropes and go in the place, leave that self-conscious "what will they think of me" guy at the door.
We all put on a show when it comes to certain people, whether they're bosses, certain friends, relatives you might see here and there, people that you're friendly but not in touch with often.
Just read the list of your own words.
Originally Posted by jay19
I tell you what, IMMEDIATELY go get "Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz
Get it on Amazon or your Barns and Nobles
And get it on tape.
That book will help you resolve those issues. It has nothing to do with pickup.
I just finished the book and it talks EXACTLY about those issues.
The ghost of pua's past.
There are 3 different books for that book. a 1997 book, 2000 book, and a 2003 book.
Originally Posted by TrueStory
Is the 2003 book the one you are talking about truestory?
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