I don't want a relationship right now.

[Tenmagnet]

This is a repost from an old blog article, but I thought I would put it out here because I think a lot of guys need to hear it.

It's amazing how many guys are convinced that women ALL want big serious relationships, and that they need to deal with that like it's a problem. The fact is, women want you to call them after hooking up, and they want you to not be a jerk and blow them off, but beyond that, you'd be surprised how NOT into relationships women are.

Anyway, here's the post.

I don't want a relationship right now.

This phrase is a huge game-killer for many reasons, whether she says it or you say it. There are a couple reasons why it sucks, the first of which is because it's ambiguous. The problem is that "relationship" means different things to different people.

1 - It could mean "I am blowing you off politely"

2 - It could mean "I just want a one night stand, and I don't want to call you in the morning".

3 - It could mean "I don't want to be your GF/BF, I just want something really casual (but affectionate)".

4 - It could also mean "You're giving me needy vibes like you want to be my BF, and it's turning me off - please change".

Usually when guys say this to women, they mean "I don't want to be your BF", and the girl takes it as "I just want an ONS".

Often when women say this to guys, they mean they want something casual, or "you're being needy" and guys take it as a total blowoff.

Either way, when this phrase gets said, people don't hook up, and happiness and joy don't come. Shame.

The other problem with "I don't want a relationship right now" is that if taken literally, it demonstrates a dorky lack of social intuition and emotional honesty. After all, if you met The Girl of Your Dreams, would you not be open to a relationship? If your answer is still no, you're a cold hearted social retard who will die unhappy. If your answer is yes, you're a liar. So what do you do?

Don't say it!

Most of the time, you can just "go with the flow", and if you're a little bit open for a relationship (with the right girl), yet very picky, you'll have the same attitude as 90% of the women out there - no relationship discussion needed.

In the event you still feel the need to make it clear to her verbally what your intentions are, "I'm not looking for something serious" works a lot better - you're cool with a friends w/benefits type relationship, and if your chemestry was *really* good, you still might be open for something serious. This is the kind of attitude that most women are totally cool with.