Be a Risk-Taker

[MrEsquire]

Males with a sensation-seeking personality trait are generally viewed as more attractive to females.

I once read a study that broke down attraction (females to males) into four different spectrums. One of the traits that ranked high on the spectrum of attraction was "sensation seeking". (If you do some research on "senation-seeking/risk taking" and "attraction", you'll be able to find a multitude of studies).

"A personality trait known as sensation seeking is defined as "the seeking of varied, novel, complex, and intense sensations and experiences and the willingness to take physical, social, legal, and financial risks for the sake of such experience" Sensation seeking includes risk-taking, which typically satisfies the high sensation seeking individual's desire for novel and intense experiences

"Risk-taking is not the main point of sensation-seeking behavior; it is merely the price such people pay for certain kinds of activities that satisfy their need for novelty, change and excitement. In fact, many of the things that high sensation-seekers do are not at all risky. They enjoy high-intensity rock music, view sex and horror films, travel to exotic places, and party without drugs.

Sensation-seeking can also extend to the physical, involving unusual or extreme sports such as skydiving, hang gliding, scuba diving, auto racing, rock climbing and whitewater kayaking. An interest in participating in such sports describes one subcategory of sensation-seeking: thrill-and adventure-seeking."

You'll notice that sensation-seeking is NOT the same as taking stupid risks. Women are not attracted to stupid risks. Sensation-seekers as a whole have more sex parters - a virtue of their need for varied, novel, complex, and intense sensations and experiences. However, the by-product risk that they accept is an increased chance of contracting STDs and getting a woman pregnant.

• Sensations-seekers tend to have more interesting and exciting experiences. (DHV stories abound.)
• Studies have shown that a trait of successful leaders and entrepreneurs is risk-taking. (Leader of Men attraction switch.)
• "Women view risk-takers as someone who is likely to protect them and provide for them." (Protector of Loved Ones attraction switch.)
• Risk-takers tend to strive for high-status positions - any high-status position takes a certain amount of risk-taking to reach. (Increased Social Proof.)
• Alpha males are risk-takers. In evolutionary terms, to become the alpha male took immense risks - you had to risk death or expulsion from the tribe if you took on the current alpha male and lost.

There is a dark side to risk-taking personalities though:

Dr. Farley divides risk takers into Type T positives -- inventors, entrepreneurs, explorers -- and Type T negatives -- compulsive gamblers, criminals, people who engage in unsafe sex.

In his view, a multimillion dollar athlete's decision not to wear a helmet is veering into the T negative column. [MrEsquire's Note: you may recognize this example. Ben Roethlisberger (Super Bowl winning quarterback) was involved in a serious motorcyle accident this past summer. He was not wearing a helmet and had an expired learner's motorcycle permit.

Often a risk taker has both elements to his personality. Albert Einstein took brilliant risks with his thinking, he said, but on the negative side, had illicit affairs. The late John Belushi was a gifted improvisational comedian, a risky form of comedy, but he abused drugs, a risk that killed him.

Sensation-seeking/risk-taking is a spectrum. People don't simply fall into the groups: 1) risk-taker, or 2) averse to risk; there is a wide-range that fall between those two values. Typically, those at the far end of the risk-taker side of values embody risk-taking as a personality trait and are likely to take highly dangerous risks and possess a potentially addictive personality. (Mystery is probably a decent example of someone who falls more towards this end of the spectrum - his life has been marked by incredible highs and lows coupled with taking extraordinary risks).

If you lead an exciting, adventureous life; if you strive to be a leader or an alpha male; hell, even if you are in the pickup game; you probably embody a certain degree of sensation-seeking and risk-taking. Those who don't takes risks tend to lead very boring lives.

[Rastotaust]

For anyone who disagrees with the logic behind Tenmagnet's post, just ask yourself this question. Do you think women would be more impressed by answer A or B to the question of 'what do you like to do'?

A. I love to go skydiving
B. I like to play computer games and watch TV.

Risk taking is VERY attractive. And I agree about driving fast. Girls HATE it when you just drive the speed limit and no over. There are all sorts of little things you can do to show you are a risk taker. If you think such things are stupid and dangerous, that's fine (and probably wise), but the truth is you're going to have one less weapon in your arsenal.

[PhilosopherKing]

Originally Posted by Tenmagnet

I even talk about gambling

Not recommended from my FT'ing.

If you mention gambling HBs will automatically think "compulsive gambler", although they might not say it out loud. You see women are very psychologically insightful and can pick up from your minor little slips about your true illness. Oh, and if they point it out to you and you try to explain to them the theory that some games are, in fact, beatable, whether you are right or wrong, that will just bury you deeper. (And needless to say they are, of course, savvy enough to know that anyone who claims to have won is just lying in a pathetic attempt to DHV themselves.)

[Sand Dollar]

"You drive too fast – You’re confident enough in your abilities that you’re willing to bank on it.

"You have a bad habit of being loud and abrasive in bad neighborhoods and seedy bars – you’re confident that if things went down, you could handle yourself."


Actually this conveys that you're ignorant.

While talking about these risks may be field tested by Tenmagnet, actually taking these risks has not. These "risks" will impress the hell out of teenage girls, other than that you're gonna come across like a fool.

I've actually been in 2 terrible car crashes, both caused by some asswipe who wanted to show off his speeding skills. The second time, I wouldn't say my girlfriend who was in the car, was attracted to the "risk taker" who broke her wrist.

Being a loud, abnoxious prick in a bad neighborhood is fine if you carry a gun. Have you ever actually had a gun pointed at you? No, but you can lie and say yes, if you want to impress the board.

I think class and maturity are the highest virtues of a PUA, this thread's advice lacks those qualities.

[Rastotaust]

Originally Posted by Sand Dollar

"You drive too fast – You’re confident enough in your abilities that you’re willing to bank on it.

"You have a bad habit of being loud and abrasive in bad neighborhoods and seedy bars – you’re confident that if things went down, you could handle yourself."


Actually this conveys that you're ignorant.

While talking about these risks may be field tested by Tenmagnet, actually taking these risks has not. These "risks" will impress the hell out of teenage girls, other than that you're gonna come across like a fool.

I've actually been in 2 terrible car crashes, both caused by some asswipe who wanted to show off his speeding skills. The second time, I wouldn't say my girlfriend who was in the car, was attracted to the "risk taker" who broke her wrist.

Being a loud, abnoxious prick in a bad neighborhood is fine if you carry a gun. Have you ever actually had a gun pointed at you? No, but you can lie and say yes, if you want to impress the board.

I think class and maturity are the highest virtues of a PUA, this thread's advice lacks those qualities.

I'm sorry about your two accidents, but it doesn't make the fact that risk taking is more attractive any less true. Also, you don't always have to put others at risk to be a risk taker yourself.

Risk taking by definition IS dangerous one way or another (whether physically or socially). If you're not willing to take risks, that's fine, but you won't be as attractive as a guy who DOES take risks, all else being equal. If a woman could choose between the guy who "goes for it" and the guy who "plays it safe", she will be more attracted than the guy who goes for it 99.9% of the time. This is nothing new; David DeAngelo covers this pretty well in his seminars, and I would go so far as to say that it's common sense. Tenmagnet is absolutely correct (as usual), and I am very surprised at the number of people who are not agreeing with it.

If you don't buy any of this, just ask several girls the following question: "All else being equal, would you be more attracted to a guy who jumped off a 50 foot cliff into a pool of water, or his friend who was afraid to jump because he might get hurt"? This would actually be a great way to open a set, come to think of it I say this because there was a time when I was the only person who didn't jump, because I was afraid I would hit a rock. Sure, the girls who were there may have seen my common sense and agreed with it, but I was at a huge disadvantage at the time. They were watching the other guys jump, were holding their breath, and were nervous for them, which in turn creates excitement and attraction. It's true.

I would venture to say that the example of driving fast by habit may be even more attractive than jumping off a cliff, because it often isn't a consious decision, but living proof that your very nature exudes an adventurous and risk-taking attitude. This isn't to say you're one of those people who would drag race and go 40 over the speed limit, but as long as you drive in a way that conveys you aren't paranoid about accidents, you'll be ok.

Do you think James Bond would be as attractive to women if he rationalized the outcome of every decision he made, and ended up not making them because he anticipated the possibility of getting hurt?

Who wants to change their abilities with women and dating FOREVER?

[Malibu]

I definately agree that being a risk taker is an attraction switch....

in saying that I disagree that doing jackass stunts is the same as taking a risk. I know you will disagree with me 10mag but I strongly believe that doing those kinds of silly risks will do at least two things:

1. It will attract girls who like to see guys acting stupid...or
2. It will not attract girls who are more mature.....

So i guess each PUA should think about what kinds of risks he might want to take to trigger the attraction switch of different girls......but thats a question of Identity so lets not discuss that here.

Overall though...yes I agree...be a risk taker...

[Tenmagnet]

Originally Posted by uGexe

Totally agree. I did 120 days for stealing a car and the girls FALL into my lap when I tell em about it.

Umm, that would fall under the category of *un-successful* risk taker.

[lifetime]

That's interesting... I was watching Bam Margera's Unholy Union on MTV2 while working out not two days ago and this risk-taking concept came to me.

My question for Tenmagnet is, How far do you suggest guys go to flip this switch? is it enough to have DHV routines (however contrived) incorporating the switch, or should guys work towards a more experiential approach to flipping the switch? If so, how far? I'm on board with trying Indian food or going 5 miles over the speed limit... breaking into buildings and jacking cars, however...

In short, is this a "Fake it till you make it" concept, or can it be simply "fake it" (with congruence)?

[Showgun]

Originally Posted by LeavesToReturn

In short, is this a "Fake it till you make it" concept, or can it be simply "fake it" (with congruence)?

Why would you want to fake it?

IMO this comes down to being adventurous in some capacity... Do you actually do anthying interesting?

Have you ever just decided to go on a road trip, or do some traveling? Or do you stay in the safety of your home at all times?

Do you ever learn to play new sports? Go rock climbing? Bungee jumping? Anyone who does martial arts or boxes (and actually fights in some capacity) runs the risk constantly of getting busted up.

Have you ever taken a job where you didn't know where it would lead for sure, but had the potential do lead to great things?

Did you ever try to sneak into a movie without paying when you were younger?

Simply by making sure that you're the best person that you can be means pushing your limits, and running the risk of failure. So just think of an aspect of your life where you really push yourself.

If you don't do any of these things, and you just coast through life, chances are your life sucks anyway, and you should probably do something about it. Then you won't have to worry about being congruent.

[lifetime]

Originally Posted by Showgun

Why would you want to fake it?

IMO this comes down to being adventurous in some capacity... Do you actually do anthying interesting?

Have you ever just decided to go on a road trip, or do some traveling? Or do you stay in the safety of your home at all times?

Do you ever learn to play new sports? Go rock climbing? Bungee jumping? Anyone who does martial arts or boxes (and actually fights in some capacity) runs the risk constantly of getting busted up.

Have you ever taken a job where you didn't know where it would lead for sure, but had the potential do lead to great things?

Did you ever try to sneak into a movie without paying when you were younger?

Simply by making sure that you're the best person that you can be means pushing your limits, and running the risk of failure. So just think of an aspect of your life where you really push yourself.

If you don't do any of these things, and you just coast through life, chances are your life sucks anyway, and you should probably do something about it. Then you won't have to worry about being congruent.

I'm not asking for clarification for myself.

I'm a bartender, I know all about being in fights. I've rock climbed, I ride a motorcycle, I have a full sleeve tattoo, I could go on and on. I do focus on pushing my limits.

I didn't used to be this way, but I made it a point to change my life. My worry with the original post is that by suggesting Jackass-style stunts, breaking into buildings, breaking the speed limit, in essence criminal risks, that people will forget that you can take risks like bungee jumping, rock-climbing, etc.