I am a stripper.

[Skybit]

Vera Lynn, thanks for your fast and diligent PM.

Question 1. My question would be: how can strippers make guys think they are the dream women, although may have some personality/body/other defects too?
What's the method of fast reputation building, besides good looks and sexy dancing? (Well must be enough for some AFC-s, not for me, after all it's a paid service.)

I was once to a strip bar, and I think I was mesmerized by the way my dancer looked at me for several minutes. I was speechless. Also she stroke me on my back all the way down and up meanwhile having a conversation. I felt like she was my GF for a long time. How the hell could that happen? Is it the special look, the special touch?

Maybe we, the guys can pull off that stuff too...

Question 2. Do strippers "learn" these tricks from teachers, or they gain it with experience on the way.

[VeraLynn]

You're welcome, PowerWizard.

You have to first figure that we are being put into the spotlight as any celebrity would be. We dance on a stage, in flashing lights, with black lights that help to even out our skin tone. Just that setting alone gives the impression that we maybe should be worshipped.

We also wear the kind of sexy clothes that many men wish more women would wear. We show lots of cleavage, skin-tight outfits, and let our butts hang out the bottom of shorts or skirts.

We make guys think of us as dream women mostly from reputation ("strippers are hot and already ready to hop into bed with a guy") and the positioning we have from our setting and clothing. Most men are willing to overlook some defects for the power of sexuality, or the promise of things to come.

We're figured out how to be that "girlfriend" that's easy to be with. Most men don't live in a world where semi-attractive up to gorgeous women (even those with small defects) come up to them and start touching them, looking at them, or treating them in a sexual way. Men might look at a beautiful woman and immediately just want to have sex with her. Women, in general, need more information to decide if she wants to sleep with a man. In a strip club, we turn on the sexuality immediately and men respond!

Men need to approach it differently than women do. Guys were built to spread their seed to as many women as possible. Us women have a bit more of an investment. We end up pregnant for 9 months. We go through the pain of childbirth. And we are generally expected to be given priority for raising said child for 18 years or more. This is why we are selective most of the time. Sure, there are easy women. I find that many women who sleep around have low self-esteem and feel that if a guy wants to sleep with them, it means someone actually cares. It's a means of affection to them because they figure that nobody would be affectionate unless they "give it up" and make it worthwhile for a guy to "care" enough to have sex with them.

To answer your second question, we learn in real life what guys want, what they expect. Some strippers are willing to go further than others to demonstrate a sexual attraction. We experiment, try new "techniques" and see if it earns us more dances, champagne rooms, VIPs.. etc. Just like guys, females have hormones too... and we start experimenting at a young age regarding sexuality and how to deal with the opposite sex.

I hope that helps!!

Originally Posted by PowerWizard

Very Lynn, thanks for your fast and diligent PM.

Question 1. My question would be: how can strippers make guys think they are the dream women, although may have some personality/body/other defects too?
What's the method of fast reputation building, besides good looks and sexy dancing? (Well must be enough for some AFC-s, not for me, after all it's a paid service.)

I was once to a strip bar, and I think I was mesmerized by the way my dancer looked at me for several minutes. I was speechless. Also she stroke me on my back all the way down and up meanwhile having a conversation. I felt like she was my GF for a long time. How the hell could that happen? Is it the special look, the special touch?

Maybe we, the guys can pull off that stuff too...

Question 2. Do strippers "learn" these tricks from teachers, or they gain it with experience on the way.

[Skybit]

Originally Posted by VeraLynn

Men need to approach it differently than women do. Guys were built to spread their seed to as many women as possible. Us women have a bit more of an investment. We end up pregnant for 9 months. We go through the pain of childbirth. And we are generally expected to be given priority for raising said child for 18 years or more. This is why we are selective most of the time. Sure, there are easy women. I find that many women who sleep around have low self-esteem and feel that if a guy wants to sleep with them, it means someone actually cares. It's a means of affection to them because they figure that nobody would be affectionate unless they "give it up" and make it worthwhile for a guy to "care" enough to have sex with them.

VeraLynn, thanks for your fast and detailed answer, again, you are very helpful member of this community!
I have sum new questions. How can you "fake" commitment to a girl belonging to the first category (the not-easy-one type), like you "fake" being a cordial GF willing to do almost anything in the strip club? I think this is the most important question in pick-ups and f-close...

Another question, if you were a man who would like to pickup a stripper, knowing all that you know of strippers, how would you do that? What methods would you try? How would you seduce her? What would you do in order to convince her to live with you and be your only girlfriend? (I know this has been asked several times, but can we get a comprehensive list on this please, including physical & personality traits and other things as well? [F.e. not regarding her as a sex object etc.] That would be awesome!)

Originally Posted by VeraLynn

To answer your second question, we learn in real life what guys want, what they expect. Some strippers are willing to go further than others to demonstrate a sexual attraction. We experiment, try new "techniques" and see if it earns us more dances, champagne rooms, VIPs.. etc. Just like guys, females have hormones too... and we start experimenting at a young age regarding sexuality and how to deal with the opposite sex.

That's interesting, so PUAs and strippers are basically doing the same, but with different methods and devices?


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I've read thru your thread, and I think you made some very tricksy insights not only into the nightclub scene, but also to the female and male mind as well. I think we can learn from you a lot, actually a lot more than from PUAs, who are mainly interested in selling their overhyped stuff to their customers (which is okay). When reading I bumped into this sentence of yours:

Being successful with women is healthy. Being a player is annoying.

What do you mean by that exactly?

[VeraLynn]

Originally Posted by PowerWizard

VeraLynn, thanks for your fast and detailed answer, again, you are very helpful member of this community!
I have sum new questions. How can you "fake" commitment to a girl belonging to the first category (the not-easy-one type), like you "fake" being a cordial GF willing to do almost anything in the strip club? I think this is the most important question in pick-ups and f-close...?

I'd say you'd fake it by trying to get her number, telling her you'd like to hang out with her more, etc. If this is untrue, however, I don't recommend it.

A while back, there was a guy I "dated" for a couple of weeks before I slept with him. He'd been telling me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend etc. Turns out, after we slept together, he stopped calling me back. It pissed me off. After a while, I decided I wanted some fun. I called him offering FWB. He accepted... but my point is, all he'd had to say in the first place was that he wasn't interested in a relationship, just some adult fun, and I STILL would have slept with him. Just without all the fake commitment bullshit. Personally I prefer honesty over being played. He should have figured out that I was attracted to him physically, he knew I was single. And HE was the one who started talking about boyfriend/girlfriend stuff!

Originally Posted by PowerWizard

Another question, if you were a man who would like to pickup a stripper, knowing all that you know of strippers, how would you do that? What methods would you try? How would you seduce her? What would you do in order to convince her to live with you and be your only girlfriend? (I know this has been asked several times, but can we get a comprehensive list on this please, including physical & personality traits and other things as well? [F.e. not regarding her as a sex object etc.] That would be awesome!)

I would start out like any other customer coming into the club. I'd buy some dances, maybe a champage room. Most dancers don't have the time or patience to sit with a person who is not spending money with them - but once the person is showing that the dancer's time is worth something to them, we pay much more attention. Until someone is spending money to be with me, they are just another Joe, and on my mind is primarily how to convince them my time is worth some cash. I'd also be sure to stop by often, like once a week while she is working. This will take time and some money! Strippers at work are.. working! If someone shows enough interest that they are willing to make an effort to come see me every week and do a few dances each time, then maybe their commitment to me at the club could translate to a commitment of being boyfriend/girlfriend. You really need to get this girl to remember you. The repetition of seeing her every week does wonders for that. You also need her to become comfortable around you. Also points to regular visits with dances.

"Convincing" a woman is what you are doing by being there for her regularly. You are giving her proof of your commitment to her. I've known several dancers who have dated regulars. You make it sound like you are going to push her against her will to be exclusive with you! That's not your goal! You want her to WANT to be with you, not in a place where you need to convince her to do so.

You'll also need to grow a bullshit radar. Some dancers will have a "Story" they tell everyone. It's made up to put her into the most fantasy-like light. That's one of the reasons why going to see her each week over and over and having conversations - not just silent lap dances - is important.

Your "not treating her like a sex object" is exactly on the dot. Talk to her like she is any other human being on the planet, not a goddess. There is nothing wrong with enjoying her dances, but make it a point to also enjoy her personality, look into her eyes when you speak to her, and respect her space. Don't spend TOO MUCH money on her. A few dances each time you see her once a week should suffice. Maybe here and there do a champage room/VIP room (depending on what the club offers regarding larger blocks of time for a set price) now and again instead of the dances. You want to give her a reason to spend time with you and focus on you (the dances or the room) - and most girls will come back to sit with someone who comes to see them regularly without expecting any more money other than their usual dances.

Originally Posted by PowerWizard

That's interesting, so PUAs and strippers are basically doing the same, but with different methods and devices?

Pretty much. We are using that male sexual attraction and stringing guys along. They like to think they might actually get into our pants, and we are looking for their money. We know that most of these guys we will not see again ever, or at least not for a long time to the point that we probably won't remember them and they probably won't remember us.


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Originally Posted by PowerWizard

I've read thru your thread, and I think you made some very tricksy insights not only into the nightclub scene, but also to the female and male mind as well. I think we can learn from you a lot, actually a lot more than from PUAs, who are mainly interested in selling their overhyped stuff to their customers (which is okay). When reading I bumped into this sentence of yours:



What do you mean by that exactly?

I mean... talking to women and having confidence, being yourself, allowing to let a woman know you without "tricking" them into anything with lies is a good thing. When you're telling a woman whatever it takes to get her to sleep with you and then you ditch her with a "ha ha, I got to screw you... stupid bitch" attitude, that's messed up.

[baxtroker]

great so all that being said, how do you spot the ones that are single or that do like guys?

[Skybit]

Originally Posted by VeraLynn

I'd say you'd fake it by trying to get her number, telling her you'd like to hang out with her more, etc. If this is untrue, however, I don't recommend it.

He accepted... but my point is, all he'd had to say in the first place was that he wasn't interested in a relationship, just some adult fun, and I STILL would have slept with him. Just without all the fake commitment bullshit. Personally I prefer honesty over being played. He should have figured out that I was attracted to him physically, he knew I was single. And HE was the one who started talking about boyfriend/girlfriend stuff!

Okay, but I think most of the girls don't have a grown-up 21st century open mind like you, and most of them still think that the prince has to come on the white horse - speaking metaphorically. That's why it is almost impossible to walk up to a girl in a bar, and sey "hey cutie, I like you, if you like me, we can go back to my apartment, and I'll f..k the sh't out of you." Even doesn't work if you have an alpha male look, good body etc. Girls need to be played, teased, or they will be reluctant to go. Or am I mistaken?
How do you tell a girl directly that you'd like to be his part-time lover (and get her to actually do it), without trying to remove the bitch shield, and work up the social dynamics of the situation?

Originally Posted by VeraLynn

I mean... talking to women and having confidence, being yourself, allowing to let a woman know you without "tricking" them into anything with lies is a good thing. When you're telling a woman whatever it takes to get her to sleep with you and then you ditch her with a "ha ha, I got to screw you... stupid bitch" attitude, that's messed up.

Yeah, that's messed up, and I've never done that. It's not just humiliating for the girl, it's also degrading for the guy. Unless they BOTH want a one-night stand. But this leads to my previous question...

[VeraLynn]

Originally Posted by baxtroker

great so all that being said, how do you spot the ones that are single or that do like guys?

Good luck. We are master actresses. That's our job! We pretend to be turned on and attracted to every man with a wallet that walks into our club. That's how we earn or living.

You need to find a dancer who's honest with you. A highly-tuned truth radar would help. MANY girls lie to be that "fantasy girl" in order to make more money.

[VeraLynn]

In short, you need to grow some trust with a woman. I'm not saying you should come on blatant right up front, I would be very turned off by some guy asking to "f..k the sh't" out of me. However, some guy who treats me with mad respect, demonstrates that he's got a mind of his own, doesn't come off as desperate, and makes me laugh.. HE would have a shot at getting me interested. Again, he shouldn't straight out ask me to come to shag with him. I am normally pretty open with showing that I am sexually attracted to someone. I will touch a lot. Get giggly. Start making sexual jokes and hinting at sex-like things. The first step toward physical affection might be to hold her hand. IF you get to the point of kissing a woman for the first time, do yourself a favor... try to not eat her alive. Start the kiss small and closed-mouthed, even though you're trying to impress her and show just how excited you are and how good you are with your tongue. I'm a petite woman, and it drives me nuts when a first kiss feels like this guy trying to eat me alive head first.

Either way, once you've established that she INTERESTED.. that is the first step. Then ask her what she is looking for. Once she's told you, tell her that you're looking for X.... not Y, although maybe some Y sometime in the future when you're ready for it, which you're currently not.

Part of the problem is that there are a TON of guys out there trolling for some hot chick to bang part time whenever he feels like it. And I think many guys overestimate just how many guys actually get to have such an arrangement! Plus us women who get hit on and asked to be a shag partner part-time constantly are able to be very selective. We have a lot of guys to choose from!

Originally Posted by PowerWizard

Okay, but I think most of the girls don't have a grown-up 21st century open mind like you, and most of them still think that the prince has to come on the white horse - speaking metaphorically. That's why it is almost impossible to walk up to a girl in a bar, and sey "hey cutie, I like you, if you like me, we can go back to my apartment, and I'll f..k the sh't out of you." Even doesn't work if you have an alpha male look, good body etc. Girls need to be played, teased, or they will be reluctant to go. Or am I mistaken?
How do you tell a girl directly that you'd like to be his part-time lover (and get her to actually do it), without trying to remove the bitch shield, and work up the social dynamics of the situation?


Yeah, that's messed up, and I've never done that. It's not just humiliating for the girl, it's also degrading for the guy. Unless they BOTH want a one-night stand. But this leads to my previous question...