When you're in a new social setting (new school, new job, etc) and everyone's meeting each other and forming social groups, how do you assess where you stand in a
social circle? I.e., how do you determine whether you're a core member or more of an outsider?
To elaborate: sometimes it's obvious whether you're a leader or a clinger-on, but sometimes it isn't. For example, if you don't get invited to an event here and there, it could be because the group didn't feel like bringing you along, but it could also be (a) they simply forgot to call you, (b) they made plans spontaneously and decided to go out with whoever happened to be around, (c) they didn't think you'd want to come, or (d) some other innocent reason.
I sometimes feel like I'm being paranoid, when every time I'm not involved in something, I get concerned that I'm being left out intentionally.
Basically: is there some sort of litmus test to tell just how much the rest of the group really likes you?
(Explanation: I'm not good at assessing these things because difficult life circumstances (which I explained in a previous post) have kept me away from pursuing a social life for the past several years, so I may not have developed this kind of intuition very well.)
Furthermore, let's say you're not a core member in a group. How can one tell what's holding you back, i.e. whether it's (a) you're not contributing enough value, (b) other guys are jealous that you're commanding too much attention, or (c) something else? I know this is not an easy question, but I'm wondering if anyone has insights on how to get this kind of feedback.
I don't have any direct reason to suspect any of these things are happening in my case, but want to make sure I promptly pick up on any warning signs.
Thanks guys.
- 
Assessing your status in the social circle 
Linear Mode
