Autistic PUA, my story.
-Liquidfire
Introduction
Hello World, this is me Bjorn, 18 years old, Dutch. And I am well, Autistic, something which will never go away, although I lacked in Social Communications, I have a extraordinary good learning capability and my IQ is around 130(If I may belief the test). This post, story is about my self development.
Autism
Official definention
“Autism is a brain development disorder characterized by impairments in social interaction and communication, and restricted and repetitive behavior, all exhibited before a child is three years old. These characteristics distinguish autism from milder autism spectrum disorders (ASD).”
My perception of Autism
I see autism as something that was blessed upon me, in the dark days I always thought why me, but I’ve accepted it, I’ve learned to live with it. I can use my MIND to makeup for what I don’t have in social skills. I have been diagnosed with “pdd-nos”, a slightly milder form of autism. I’ve also got ADHD, so it was double trouble for me.
Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism ADHD Official definition
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) previously known as Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), is generally considered to be a developmental disorder, largely neurological in nature, affecting about 5% of the world's population.[1][2][3][4] The disorder typically presents itself during childhood, and is characterized by a persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity, as well as forgetfulness, poor impulse control or impulsivity, and distractibility.[5][6]
My perception of ADHD
I see ADHD as something that can give me energy. When I was younger I was hyperactive, not able to concentrate, no self-control, impulsive(According to written documents, doctors). Now I’ve grown older, I somehow can use that energy to put it into something I really like “Hyperfocus”, I can absorb enormous amount of information in a short time. This is cool, and not cool. Because I can totally lose control with the outside world, and I for example can easily read things I like on the internet for too long, without holding track of time. And killing the “Hyperfocus” off.
Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adhd
My story
1. Childhood->pre-teen
2. Pre-teen->teen
3. Teen-> maturity
4. Thanks too.
Childhood-> pre-teen
My childhood, I actually know some stuff still when I was younger. I remember I was always interested in Biology, animals. I would completely focus on it, even in class. It clearly became clear, that I was different than the people in my kindergarten. I would punch people, for toys, I would be bossy, but I always wanted to help someone who was in trouble. Which most of the time turned out wrong, because I simply didn’t know WHAT or HOW to be social, and don’t hurt anyone. I didn’t know emotions, I couldn’t relate hurting someone to a negative emotion. I think it was pure to get attention, I didn’t know how to do it in a right way, being a funny little child. I had few friends, and most of them were forced as my friends. As long as everything went my way, it was cool. But as soon as something changed, I totally went berserk. I was like this for a long time, until I discovered computers. I found a new passion(note this is when I was 9-10). I totally became a titmouse. I never went out, I lost the few “forced” friends I had except for one, he’s my best friend and he probably will always be my friend. He was there for me always, we never fight. And I always looked up to him. Because he was a social type of guy, getting girls etc. But somehow he’d never kept them long, and I was really mad about that(So my AFC period began). I learned from books, and movies that a girl likes a romantic someone. During this period, and later I was on special schools, who where suit for my special care of attention(I needed more help with homework, even though I possessed a IQ 130+
I simply didn’t know structure) to learn. And next to this, my teachers weren’t helping either. Giving advice I could only take a certain level(AND they actually put me on that level). I was mad, and motivated I would show who the fuck I was)
/SOCIAL PROGRESS/ “Childhood->Pre-teen”
At this stage I could talk to people, about things I knew about. I could relate some basic emotions, and know not to hurt anyone. I learned to be more quiet, this process made me really introverted.
Pre-teen->teenage
So, I finally arrived at the next chapter of my life. High school. I hated the first years of high school, I was getting bullied constantly, getting in fights. As I was still surrounded by people who had learning problems, and I had a really big problem reading and writing. Through effort of my mom, and my school I cached up on 3 years of being behind, on my classmates in 0.5 year. Suddenly I unlocked my reading ability and I would explode into one of the fastest, and correct readers of the class. But after I became bored at school, the level of education was too easy. And I began fucking around in the class for attention, throwing stuff I even threw a hammer through the classroom once. So, finally after a big debate I could move to higher level of high school. This was really big switch, and I think after finishing my first year, I totally transformed.
At the later stages when I was almost 16, still 15. I was frustrated, wondered why I couldn’t understand woman. And since I was a internet geek. I googled. And I David ********. I watched his first program, it didn’t make sense to me. So I dropped it, only until later when I was half past 16 I got into the PUA-community deeply. Intrigued, by the things. I began studying absorbing information. Began working out, I began more social interaction. However, I still didn’t know enough. I didn’t dare to go out, and I had major AA when I got out. SO I turned once again to the internet, I become a master a Cocky& funny due training over 2 years, I learned negs etc over the net. However, still not being able to do this outside my square-meter.
17->18(18-> College)
This is the year I studied the most, it changed me. I studied I be came obsessed. I just wanted every book to be read on PUA/self-confidence etc. I’ve read so much, and still so much to be read.
But finally, my internet game became better and better. And I actually had a date.
We kissed……, we build up a relationship. But I went into AFC, and I couldn’t handle her being away 40 minutes from me. So I quitted it(2 months ago), I was glad, it relieved a lot of stress from my shoulder, she’s a fuck buddy now I guess, we still have contact but I don’t initiate it fuck her.
I returned with a shattered
soul, and losing my virginity to the PUA-community once again. I felt on a new level, I learned a lot of things in the relationship. And not being a virgin anymore kind of freed me.
It was nothing special at all, and it was terrible the first time.
This year I also changed to College. I saw it as a great opportunity to meet and meat(:P) new people.
I think the social Progress I went through the last 2 years, were the most difficult ones, releasing old beliefs reframing everything. UNDERSTANDING all the information. It resulted in my being a C&F confident guy, atm I don’t have any big AA anymore, I can do cold approaches. And I had my first successful on last week at my wings Birthday party, resulted in a kiss close. I began telling people about the progress, and the game. I found 2 great wings. They’re supportive, and my friends where negative and acting funny and goofy when I told it. But they’re still my friends, I also began telling girls I don’t want to sleep with, they’re intrigued and interested in the community(I was scared to be a turd). But when I tell it confidently, and don’t take the “no shit frame”, I learned. Everyone reacts different. I learned female <-> interaction more, I became knowledgeable what woman find attractive. MY INTERNET Game is very good now, I can get loads of girls interested in me.
I’m working on Street/club approaches(COLD ONES/WARM ONES), I’m getting better everyday.
HECK I even kissclosed a girl on my Wings birthdayparty, and he just started and is looking up to me somehow.I feel flattered, but I don’t feel like a PUA yet. Still so much to improve
//SOCIAL PROGRESS// Teenage->18+
I become more socially aware, I completed anchoring all the emotions. I fell in love and I got “LJBF”, I was depressed for 3 weeks. I got myself up and went further, I had a kiss with one fucking ugly girl, and I regret I kissed her. I made more friends, especially in the last 2 years. I studied tried new things out. I became a more frequent visiter of the community, I made people my wing. And I met a lot of people through the community. I am how
Future
I can only get better, I am who I am. I got my weaknesses and my strengths. I will use them to my power, MY MIND IS LIMITLESS, I AM a 10. I’m worthy of all the girls, and the girls NEED to earn their right into my space. I am not scared of being the party, or being touched. I try to improve my game, and teach other who want to be teached. And I try to get the job I always wanted “Software Engineering”.
(I know this is not really much, I could’ve written down a million words, I got so many pictures in my mind, but I decided to publish this).
Credits for people who helped me a lot
People which’s programs have been useful to me.
***, RSD, *******, RJ, Athony robbins, *******, Style. Herbal, *******, *****g, Papa, Asian_playboy, **********, ********, and many more.
People who helped me a lot
My 2 wings (YAK/KAY) and (UNI). My best friend. The people I met throughout my life, who motivated me into showing them I AM MORE THAN I AM.
Zachase, Jason, Starscream, Cy, Beamer, pacman, My parents, my family, Tiger, Mazakarani, Sirch. People who I forgot, who have given me insightfulness into the game.
And the one to thank most. Myself for putting up with all the crap, and not giving up showing I TOO can learn to be social, even with my disability.
Our greatest battles are that with our own minds. Jameson Frank
Men are born to succeed, not fail. Henry David Thoreau You have a very powerful mind that can make anything happen as long as you keep yourself centered. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success. Norman Vincent Peale -Liquidfire
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Being a autistic PUA 
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