I wrote the original article way back in April. However, basic concepts and fundamental ideas would work during any season. This is not a specific guide on how to pickup chicks at college parties. This is based on years of observation and gaming on my campus. Most of my friends’ hookups happened in similar way too. For your enjoyment, even though a huge post, I recommend printing out and grabbing along when going to the bathroom. Much of pickup material I read on the john. (I don’t know if you cared to know that
)
Another thing to note: these ideas were tested in Midwestern University of ..umm about 50,000+ students. This is not the UNIVERSAL guide. Perhaps in Syracuse University parties are different from ones in John Hopkins College and I am sure Duke University would have much upscale parties than, let’s say Michigan; and speaking of Michigan, they all come to party at OSU anyways, because, that’s where the real parties are. Go bucks!
Pardon spelling:
Anywho,
The scriptures:
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April XX, 2007
So it’s that season again. Sun is out, snow is melting and girls are taking off some of their clothes to show off the goods. It’s fucking spring! It’s time to Party! Yes, the two best seasons to party is spring and fall. I love spring more, because everyone has that “spring break” mentality. Everyone wants to get out. Even sheltered freshmen feel like they have grown into sophomores and it’s time to have some fun. It’s the time of the year when you look back and realize that winter sucked donkey balls and you need to come out of your hibernation.
Ok enough of fluff talks. Let’s get onto the dynamics of college parties.
Years of social college life and several years of fraternity experience have taught me how to work campus parties to my advantage.
First, college parties are about three things: Friends, Drinking, Hooking up (Excitement). It often depends what kind of party and who is throwing party, but primarily, party would be about friends and fun. However, some fraternity parties would have recruiting agenda hidden behind “fun” as well.
I am going to cover the three basic principles:
“Friends” is a pretty broad topic. You not only hang out with friends at parties, you, also, make new friends and you meet friends of your friends, or you pretend to be someone’s friend so he doesn’t cock-block you from tapping his one-itis. Even though, you don’t actively make decision to go to a party to make some new friends, it’s a by-product of alcohol and interesting conversations.
Drinking. This is self explanatory. If you don’t drink, at least a little bit, you’re going to stand out. Whether you stand out in a good way or bad way it’s up to your
inner game and self confidence to decide. I have friends who don’t drink. I have friends who drink more than I do. Either of them can have fun at parties. But, from experience, drinking is a social event, not an obligation. Many PUA materials covered this aspect already; there is no need to be redundant.
Hooking up. Everyone wants to hookup. Girls want to hook up too, secretly; they are not even aware of it. Sometimes girls go to parties to meet ‘Mr. Right’ like one even exists. Some girls go to meet Mr. Right-Now. And guys, … I don’t need to explain this one do you? And even if you go there with a girlfriend, you still think about a crazy
threesome hookups or getting blow job in the bathroom (from a stranger) while your girlfriend is smoking outside. Maybe not! I don’t know. But hooking up, next to drinking, is primary reason why we, dudes, go to parties. Right, guys?
Let’s get started:
So you’re going to a party.
PART I
If you don’t know the host
Basically, it’s an open door party, you maybe know one person inside, or you may not know anyone inside. Bottom line: you’re about to crash a random house party. First, find out if it’s a list party. List party will have a plastic fence and a guy with guest list by the entrance. Don’t you fucking jump that fence! That will get you kicked out, and, even your ass beat.
Instead, if it’s a list party, walk by and check people outside. (Pretend like you’re trying to make a phone call) Look for familiar faces. If you spot someone you know by name, yell his/her name. Unless that person does not like you, he or she should be able to get you in. If he doesn’t know anyone at a party he can still try to let you in. By default, if he is already in, you should have no problem getting in UNLESS: you have ten dudes in your posse. And MAN, what the fuck are you thinking? Why are you taking so many dudes to crash a party?? Aside from having girls with you (you should), have maybe one other dude who’s your wingman. It’s in your best interest to bring some hoes. Even if girl is little overweight it will work to your advantage when it comes to getting in.
So you got in
What’s next? Immediately find out who are your friend’s friends. Talk to them and be cool to them. These guys/girls will be your base social proof. You can always safely run to base. You want to be in good rapport with your friend and his friends. Also, don’t game his girl friends, just yet. You’ll DHV yourself by showing how easily you can gain social proof out of nothing. Then you can game them, if you want.
Next, try to find out who is the host. The more people you know the easier it will be to befriend the host. Typically, more than one person lives in a house. Try to get to know them all. Thank them for the party; tell them that your friend promised that party will be a blast and you’re having such a great time. (Use indirect compliment: State that your FRIEND said this party was going to be a blast: “Awesome party, Erik (host). Yeah, Josh [ your bud ] said this party is going to be bomb!”. Don’t be sucking hosts’ dick and kissing his ass. It doesn’t sound genuine. ). One thing to keep in mind: Always be friendly with guys that live in the house and always be nice to their friends.
So you are “in” with the house, time to be fun…
Before you start hitting on girls, you need to work the party. You got to make yourself known as a cool guy. Talk to dudes by the keg. Hold the hose and pour drinks for other people. If you offer to pour beer for while, nobody will tell you no. Most people hate standing by the keg, pouring beer, but it’s a gold mine. It makes you look like you’re “IN” with the house. You can shoot some shit with girls standing in line to get beer. Situational openers like “hey, didn’t I just filled your cup second ago? Are you giving beer to 12 year olds??? Or you’re just an alkie? (teasing)” Just stupid shit like this can go long way. Be friendly and smile. Ask people if they are having good time. High five girls. Tipsy girls love to give hugs and kisses. “Hugs for your bartender!” Be funny, and play the ‘bartender’. Joke with your ‘clients’ they will remember you later when you’re actually partying. Word to remember: Playful.
Now, time to get out there….
Find some shy guy standing in line hand him the keg hose, “here you go buddy, now you can be a bartender for couple minutes. I gotta go piss” …….yeah, of course you don’t have to go piss, but you need to get out of there. Why shy guy? Because, he will feel privileged to be a ‘bartender’. These are silly details but, I like details.
So, let’s get back to mingling…
Once you are back out in the ‘field’ start talking to your newly met friends. This is a good time to let your social self shine. Expand your circle by drawing people in with interesting shit to talk about. Not every girl likes sports and you don’t want to gather sausage festival around you, do you? So talk about shit that makes people laugh. If you’re telling a story, speak loud enough for by-standers to hear you. When people get drunk, they have a strong urge to share their opinions with everyone. When girls see you being center of attention, they will come to you. This works like a miracle: you’ll notice more and more girls popping up around you. Some might open you with, “hey, you’re the guy on the keg” …that’s just a lame excuse for her to open you. You can use situational opener, from
Magic Bullets, or you can even go direct if you like.
But if she opened you, know that,
She is already attracted to you. By reaching proximity with you she made a decision (in that little head of hers) that she wants to talk to you. You just have to help her follow through with that decision. Don’t fuck it up; you can spend less time in attraction phase but spend more in qualification phase instead.
So you picked your target …or she picked you…now it’s time to ….
Let her talk a bit. Once you gathered so many people around you, it’s your choice, now, to whom you want to talk to. You have almost complete control over the group’s interaction. You can ignore your target for while, tell guys interesting story about camping or something else of DHV. Or you can talk to her a little bit, while still talking to your ‘new’ friends. At some point, you might want to ask her for a story. “So what’s the craziest thing you’ve done while camping?” Or she might want to tell you her story herself. Notice a little social secret: She does not want to tell her story to everyone; she only wants you to hear it. Why? Because, you’re the prize and everyone around you are by-standers. If your social skill is dominant you will be dominating any group conversation by doing 70% talking. You want to be in that area, but it’s not always easy to do. I will write a good post on dominating a group conversation. But that’s going to come later. And by dominating I don’t mean interrupting or cutting people off. By dominating, I mean, telling stories and anecdotes where people don’t want to hear anyone else besides you. A good story-teller will hold 80-90% of conversation first half an hour or so; after that, he’ll lead each member of the group to his story or anecdote by asking him right questions “so, George, I heard you are doing XYZ, …tell me more about it?” or “Tom, didn’t you just move into a new place last weekend?... no shit”
Now let others talk for a little bit:
Shut the fuck up and listen. If you’re still in a group, you should pick your target and naturally isolate the conversation (where she is talking to you, and other people are talking to each other. When you do this often enough you get a nack for it: social calibration at work.
With the girl: Listen to what kind of girl she is. And most importantly, listen to why she is telling this story. Most people tell stories for few reasons: to seek approval, to entertain, to top someone else’s story. She will seek approval if your stories are outright outrageous. She’ll try to top them if you haven’t demonstrated high enough value. And almost never she’ll tell a story for entertainment. Not in this kind of interaction. Usually, these kind of stories are told by professional speakers (and often, with other agendas, perhaps, hidden within these stories).
Now calibrate to where you stand in her eyes.
If she is trying to top you, she’ll say things like “oh, you gotta hear about when me and blah blah blah did blah blah”. It’ll sound something like…. Remember when you were a kid on the playground arguing with other kids who’s dad is richer? That’s what she’ll sound like.
If she is trying to seek approval, you’ll sense that immediately. She might even say “umm I dunno, …I guess one time we went to Pennsylvania and blah blah”. She wont put much excitement in her story; her body language will also be submissive. Often they have really good stories but have no idea how to make it sound exciting.
Isolate. Physically. Slowly and subtly start moving yourself to position where it would feel “natural” for rest of the group to form their own circle and you and her form your own. If you have a wingman, have him dive into rest of the group. If you’re moving away (slowly and subtle) in the middle of interesting story that you were telling her, she’ll follow. It’s rude not to, and besides, she already likes you.
Now move her…or bounce
….to a different location (away from everyone). I usually, tell her to come sit with me on the steps (and smoke a cigarette), because party is being loud. If you did all the right steps she will come. Rarely, at this point, you’ll hear “no, I don’t want to”. In this case, punish her with a back turn and start talking to someone else. She’ll feel rejected. She’ll tug your shirt like a puppy who wants to be pet.
Now, you want her to bounce with you but……..
……… she might have friends there and she can’t leave with a guy she JUST met at a party. That’s too slutty (for her). Natural reaction. After building some rapport, suggest to walk over to nearby gas station. It’s a beautiful night, and you’re thirsty. The thing is, she will want any excuse to be alone with you but she wont want to look like a slut if she agrees to go to your house and fuck. She is not that easy, at least that’s what she thinks. She wants to be ‘not guilty’ of anything that might happen.
If she says “Ok”, take her hand and start walking, but things might be tad more complex. You might hear
………“oh, well let me tell my friends first”, then STOP. Not enough comfort. Two things you need to get a read on: Either she is not that into you OR she doesn’t trust you and she wants friends’ approval of her actions. Sit back down and take out another cigarette. Start talking about something else and forget about bouncing for now. You need to build more rapport. Get her life story. Talk about your childhood and she will naturally want to talk about hers. Talk about cartoons you used to watch when you were a kid. Spend another fifteen or twenty minutes talking to her about fun stuff you used to do as a child. Don’t rush. Do some light
kino, maybe palm reading, if you’re into that.
This will help her open up.
At some point get up and say something along the lines “lets go get some pop, I am tired of beer” take her hand and start walking.
Let me explain what a “light
kino” might mean. When you’re talking to her, to make a point, gently, touch her shoulder for a second. Touch her arm between palm and elbow when you’re explaining something. High fives and ‘hit the rock’ are good when she says something cool. If you’re standing up and she says something crazy, say “get out of here” and “push” her away playfully. Ok, don’t push her, but touch her as if you were pushing her but push yourself away. It seems like she was pushed (feels like it too) but in reality you’re the one pushing yourself off of her, playfully of course.
Once she left party with you, you judge whether you want to make out with her, or take her home for fuck. This was covered before by many PUAs. Not going to repeat
kino escalation.
PART II
If you DO NOT know ANYONE there,
You can still get in. Your chances are extremely low if it’s a list party. However, list parties are typically hosted by fraternities or sororities; usually, they are more organized than just a kegger that your neighbors throw every Thursday or Friday nights. If you are a complete stranger to a party, you need to come in unnoticed; last thing you want people asking you “who do you know here”. This is where bringing your own case of beer or bottle of alcohol comes in handy. You’re not a mooch; and you don’t want to be perceived that way by a host. Worst case scenario host will ask you if you know anyone, depending on how socially calibrated you are and what mood he is in, you can either small talk him: “hey man, I was walking by, saw a pretty cool party, decided to drop by see if my friends are here…, I take it’s your house?? What’s your name?”
Most likely you’ll stay if:
-you brought your own beer/liquor
-you’re not shady or creepy person
-you have a female friend and no guys (one guy is pushing it)
-you’re really good at build rapport.
If not, just tell the guy thanks, and walk away;
Best case scenario: you find a shy guy standing by himself. Engage him in conversation about typical guy topics “sports”, “cars”, etc. Why shy guy? Because he is easiest target to attach yourself to; immediately after opener, you absolutely have to deliver this line “hey you know guys that live here?” with detached tone in your voice. If he says No, find another guy. Wash rinse repeat until you find a dude that knows hosts. That’s your social base. Spend good 30 minutes bullshitting with this guy. You need his rapport to get in with the host.
If you’re questioned by someone other than the host, if you know anyone here, tell them “my friend does, but I can’t seem to find him. What’s your name?”. These people want to play “party police”; they are helping the hosts with the party. Don’t worry about these people but abso-fucking-lutely build rapport with them.
After being in conversation with hosts friend(s) you want to meet the host. Just ask your new friend to introduce you to, whatever-hosts’-name-is. Nobody will ever question you why. Rest of the game is played like in PART I
PART III
If you know the host
let’s say that you were invited to a party.
If you know host very well ask him if it’s cool to bring a friend. Bring a wing. If you don’t know host very well, try to bring a female friend. Even if she is a 6, it’s better than showing up alone. If she knows some other girls, they can come too. Dynamically, bitches get into all parties without questions.
Once you made it to a party,……
…… immediately go talk to the host. You want to let them know you’re there and you are appreciative of their party. Introduce your friend/hoes to the host. Introduce yourself to hosts’ friends. (Don’t wait to be introduced) Push small talk. It’s best if your small talk turns into a very interesting story. Start growing your social group around you. Be center of attention. From this point on, the game becomes the same as I described above in PART I. Technically, the only difference is how you get in and gain rapport amongst people. If girls see you talking to a host and his/her friends your social value is higher. Work the party as I described above.
FEW MORE THINGS TO ADDRESS:
- AMOGs. You will run into douchebags that will try tooling you. Ignore them and tell your story. Some guys will naturally compete for dominance. Position your body language with your back to him while still facing rest of the group. Don’t get angry and lose it. I will write another post about handling amogs.
- Girls with attitude. Unlikely, you run into girls with super bitchy attitude. Don’t sweat it. Move on. This is a party and they can’t expect guys to supplicate and buy drinks. Most people want to relax, chill, smoke some, drink some, and hook up with someone. These girls are misfits by trying to apply their club-front to a party.
- Alcohol. Do drink some, but don’t get too drunk. You want to be able to get your dick up when the time is right. I, personally, carry a small bottle of whiskey or scotch. This helps me when keg lines are too long. Plus I don’t like naty light. This is also good, when you’re talking to girl one-on-one you don’t have to run back to the keg to get more beer and risk losing her. As much as you should be detached from the outcome you don’t want stupid logistic errors ruining your fun. Beer also makes you piss like crazy, once you’ve broken golden seal. This is another stupid reason to lose a girl to some guy while you’re taking a wiz.
- You want to bounce her before party filters out. It’s a privacy thing and she doesn’t want to be seen leaving with some guy. It’s easier to ‘sneak out’ when people are busy partying: less visible. The irony is that more people will notice her leaving than if there were 2-3 guys left. Also, leaving early, will keep her friends from cock blocking you, as well.
- Timing: Good party will start around 10. Good friends will show up by 11… and people will start crowding in by midnight. Most college parties are like airports, people coming in and out. If you know the host, be there around 11ish… if you don’t know the host, you can try towards midnight. (For crashing, it’s best when there are a lot of people; easier to get in unnoticed.
- Unless you are still building rapport, or your target is a host, don’t linger at a party (drunk) when there are 5 dudes left and maybe one or two fatties. It’s not your night. If you haven’t closed the deal before party is over, most likely you won’t do it then. Just admit it that you’ll have to jerk it tonight.
- Her friends. This is the biggest issue many guys run into. Cockblocks. Many times you can try your best to get on their good side, but damn bitches (it’s usually girl friends) will cock block you. I found it easier to solve this issue if you introduce her girlfriends to some cool guys you’ve met or know at a party. Thus girls won’t feel left out when you isolate her. Merging sets forward (or backwards) is one way to eliminate cockblocking. Something or someone has to keep them busy while you’re working your target.
- Logistics: if there are no gas stations that are open late or party is in the middle of nowhere, you might have to improvise. Suggest taking a walk because it’s beautiful outside or party is too loud. There are thousands excuses to wonder off from the party, it all depends how much she trusts you and the level of comfort/rapport you have with her.
- Transportation: sometimes she will drive there or her girlfriends will drive her there or you driven your friend to a party and that becomes a problem. To solve this, I drive alone and my friends drive alone. If her friends drove her there or she is the driver, suggest for everyone (including her friends) to bounce to your place. However, you have to have something MORE INTERESTING at your place than at that party. (weed comes to mind)
There are many other aspects of party game that I am going to cover in other posts. For now, I touched on the basics. If I was to cover every detail of this topic I could write a 300 page book. Much will come from practice. The fundamental groundwork is in understanding the dynamic of social interactions, everything else will emerge at the right time. And you do not have to listen to all this and do it step by step. In fact I’ve had sets when girl would make out with me after five minutes of conversation and another five minutes we were walking to my apartment to fuck. There is no magic formula to follow. There are no 1-2-3 step rules and every situation is different. I covered a basic concept of how to work a party. Enjoy!
~ True Story
| This is the definitive work on pickup and dating theory, written by an acknowledged master of the game - a guy who’s TRAINED many of the new “gurus” on the scene! |
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Dynamic of a typical college party / getting in socially 
) post.
; that alone almost made me not want to read your post.
Linear Mode
