The Most Important Trait of an Alpha Male

[sheriff]

So there are no stupid questions, but, there are questions that betray a deep misunderstanding of what you've learned. A common one of these on bootcamp goes something along the lines of:

"There are these guys I know who give me a hard time, and I wanna know how to make them look stupid in front of everyone else and be the alpha male!"

Guys get it in to their head that to be the attractive alpha male, to be the top dog, you need to put other people down. They see being at the top as dominance. Seeing it as dominance is seeing it as a competition. And as soon as you start competing with other guys for social position, you've really already lost.

What you need to be shooting for is leadership. Create value, and bring other people up with you, rather than trying to put them down. Try and recognise and then bring out the best in others. Be the source of good emotions for other people. Earn your respect through being your best self, not through trying to fight and dominate others.

My blog is jokingly called "Frame Control" because it took me a long time to learn this! I learned how to dominate conversations, I learned how to brow beat other people in to doing what I wanted, and I became excellent at manipulating others. I could get people to do what I wanted, but it took a lot of energy, and it didn't make me any friends.

The skills come in useful for talking my way in to clubs in cities where I'm not hooked up, or for convincing girls to travel for hours for Day 2s, but while with practice you can earn grudging respect from other guys this way when you get good at it, switching to a position of leadership, not dominance is a huge step forward.

Suddenly you'll find people flocking to you. People will offer to go out of their way to help you, rather than you needing to compel them to. People will freely offer you their respect, rather than you having to force it out of them.

Your homework: next time you find yourself in a position of perceived 'competition' with other guys, try switching to a frame of leadership. Don't ask yourself "How can I beat this guy?". Ask yourself: "How can I help this guy?", and really mean it, rather than trying to be condescending, or setting them up for a bigger fall.

-P

Who wants to change their abilities with women and dating FOREVER?