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08-14-2008, 09:12 AM
| | | | | | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florence, AL Age: 21
Posts: 231
| | |  The Elusive Orgasm...ladies help!
I know a girl who has most assuredly NEVER had an orgasm...never. She has been through a lot in her life...she was raped by 5 people and she was abused by her father and mother her whole life...she is an amazing girl and i love everything about her...but she cannot have an orgasm.
One day when i was fingering her she got really close and told me to stop b/c she said "im too sensitive...it feels too good." i have yet to get her to that point again but when we have sex she screams and she shudders and stuff but she has never had an orgasm. I have ate her out...fingered her...pounded the hell out of her vagina until she begged me to stop b/c it felt too good...then did it some more. I'm just really concerned...she is 19 years old and never had an orgasm...she had a really healthy sex life for a year and a half until he broke up with her and she faked orgasms with him every time. He still thinks he gave her orgasms. She tried to fake one with me the first time we had sex but i didnt buy that shit and told her never to lie to me again.
I'm jw what i could do to get her in the mindset to have one. She wants to have one...but she wants to have one for me. Ladies please help as well as guys. I have NEVER had any trouble getting a girl off before so this bums me out. please help.
X
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"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."- Mark Twain |
08-14-2008, 09:23 AM
|  | Moderator of The Attraction Forums | | | | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 4,418
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She needs to see a counselor................ and wow. raped by 5 people?!!?!
Wow!
But yeah, girls like this have a lot of emotional baggage from childhood. It's best to let professionals help her get past it. Your attempts to solve her problems will only frustrate her and piss her off. |
08-14-2008, 09:26 AM
| | | | | | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florence, AL Age: 21
Posts: 231
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Not necessarily trying to solve her problems...just trying to get the damn girl to cum!
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"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."- Mark Twain |
08-14-2008, 09:31 AM
| | Moderator of The Attraction Forums | | | | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 4,418
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Well the reason she cannot come is because of some deep rooted inner game issues she has. I know couple girls like this. It's not really uncommon (well getting raped 5 times.... I heard that first time today).
She needs to let go her "hate for men" and open up. Only when she's relaxed she can cum;
Woman's orgasm is psychological more than physiological. Unlike us guys, that need physical stimulation, she also needs mental and emotional stimulation AND physical. Just fingering her alone will not make her cum, she might get close but actual orgasm might not be possible until she feels comfortable. She need to trust you, but since you're a man, her subconscious mind conditioned that you're out to hurt her. Even though it might seem so simple to you, it's a lot more complicated to her.
I think girls input on this would be good, Sampanye or TheRogue's advice would be really appreciated here. |
08-14-2008, 09:42 AM
| | | | | | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florence, AL Age: 21
Posts: 231
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She says she trusts me totally and completely to never hurther like those other guys have...
__________________
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."- Mark Twain |
08-14-2008, 09:53 AM
| | Moderator of The Attraction Forums | | | | | Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 4,418
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I am sure she believes you and trusts you. It's not that simple. She can say she trusts you but she doesn't really know herself.
Unless you're a complete dud in bed, she probably has some inner game issues, she might not even know about. How many guys has she been with willingly? How many boyfriends has she had before you? Has she ever orgasmed? How old is she? Can she bring HERSELF to orgasm? Can she orgasm through oral?
Answers to these questions will make it clear whether it's you who sucks in bed or her who needs help with her "issues". |
08-14-2008, 10:00 AM
| | | | | | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florence, AL Age: 21
Posts: 231
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She has NEVER had an orgasm. Period. she has been with 5 guys willingly some of them really sucked in bed. she likes to be fucked hard...like banging the hell out of her...she screams and cusses and grabs my hands really tight and bites the shit out of me and scratches my back when we have sex...but she can never cum.
__________________
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."- Mark Twain |
08-14-2008, 10:21 AM
|  | | | | | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Los Angeles Age: 23
Posts: 897
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From a girl's perspective, a couple thoughts...
1.) It's definitely true that a girl's orgasm is more psychological than physical. With that said, she may need to see a therapist to sort out her past, cuz that may play a role in her inability to cum.
2.) Has she ever gotten herself off? That's probably the most effective way to get an orgasm at first...
3.) It caught my attention that she wants to cum "for you," not for herself. That's probably why it's hard for her to do it. My guess is, she feels pressured to come because she wants to please you, and you're not happy when she doesn't cum. Therefore, she feels like she NEEDS to do so, and everyone knows, if you try to force it, it's not gonna happen. She needs to relax and just let it happen.
It sounds like she's enjoying the sex, even without cumming, but you want her to cum because that validates your sexual skill as a man. I know that sounds bad, and I'm sure you want the best for her, but having an orgasm for girls is really not a consistent thing, even without the past attached. I think the best thing you can do in the situation is to ease the pressure on her to cum and just enjoy the sex. The journey is usually more fun than the destination anyway.
If she can relax and enjoy the sex without worrying about having to cum, I'm sure it'll happen a lot faster.
My 2 cents,
Rogue  |
08-14-2008, 10:31 AM
| | | | | | | Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Florence, AL Age: 21
Posts: 231
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What, in your opinion, is the best way for me to take the pressure off her to cum? and guys this is the last time i will say this SHE HAS NEVER NEVER NEVER had an orgasm.
__________________
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."- Mark Twain |
08-14-2008, 10:45 AM
| | | | | | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Los Angeles Age: 23
Posts: 897
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She'll come when she's ready. It's not your mission in life to make her cum. Sex is like the sundae; orgasm is the cherry on top. A sundae is still good without the cherry.
As far as easing pressure, don't do things like asking her if she came or if she's cumming. If she has an orgasm, she'll let you know. Don't act all disappointed if she doesn't cum either. Just tell her how much you enjoy fucking her, how good it feels for you, etc. Don't even mention the orgasm.
If she acts disappointed, tell her sex is a journey and she doesn't have to worry about the destination. One day she'll reach it, and you'll be right there when she does.
Rogue | | |
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