im givin her what she wants but im not gettin anything in return

[dbmistry]

hey, today i just performed oral on my gf for the first time and she loved it. the problem is, after that, she said that she would never give me a blowjob. we talked about it and agreed that i wouldn't give her head anymore since she isnt doing anything for me. i respect her values but this kinda thing drives a man crazy. shes wonderful and everything i want in a girlfriend but what can i do to make her go down on me?

[Lone Wolf 20]

This sort of thing REALLY turns me off, for more reasons than one. Basically it subcomminicates that she isn't that secure with herself or that sexual would would basically hint our values and personalities are different and not as compatible. When this has happened to me it went two ways.
I didn't pay her much attention and occasionally would spike her energy by being flirty and showing her a few moments of attention then going cold and doing other things. Here's what the outcomes were...
1) She would get really sexual because I was not being sexual and teasing her but not giving her anything until she gave me something.
2) She still didn't do anything and I showed her less and less attention and basically looked for other girls and basically ended it.

I don't want to be with someone who won't do that, because it's such a turn of and I don't feel very attracted to them because of it and like I said before, it means your personalities and beliefs are different so the both of you wouldn't be that great of a match anyways.

But that's what I've done so far. But so far, only one time the girl still refused to give me head and I ended it. All the other times the girl ended up giving in.

[sampanye]

Originally Posted by dbmistry

she said that she would never give me a blowjob.

It's this 'never' I don't like. If she said she was nervous, or not sure what to do, or not ready to do that YET... that would be one thing. You could work with that. "NEVER" is pretty definite. It shows that she's unwilling to try new things, she's not keen to experiment and not open to new experiences.

It's a bad precedent to set. Do you want to be with a girl who is stuck in her ways like this? Is this really about not getting your dick sucked or is it about what such a blunt refusal represents in your relationship?

[dbmistry]

well we havent even hit our one month yet and shes an indian girl and a bit of a prude so i guess after a few more months, things could work out better, else ill start freezin out on her and see where that goes

[want2learn]

i think you took the wrong move. first, if she said she wouldnt performe oral on you, you should simple said "I understand, for me your pleasure comes first". she thought because you give her oral you would exepected it and you just confirmed it.
More, never, but i mean NEVER do stuff like this "if i do this, you do that". NO NO NO.
if you really care about this girl and you enjoy giving it, just continue to preform oral, but say you dont expect nothing in return and you only care of her pleasure. Maybe one day she suprises you.

[OV_Legend]

My answer may be a little overly simple.....if you want head...and she doesn't give it.....it only seems logical that although she may be wonderful.......she's not EVERYTHING you want in a girlfriend. Let's face it...some girls just don't give head...and even if you get one of those to do it, chances are they're not gonna do it very well....so my advice would be for you to really think about if she really is EVERYTHING you want.

[starcraft]

I know a lot of girls are used to being 'in control'.
They've been brought up doing all the chores and looking over everyone, they have a lot of self respect, similiar to guys. And they have this notion in their head that giving a blowjob to a guy is degrading herself. Its like a confidence issue.
Anyways thats where the problem usually (but not always) comes from.
I wont actually bring that up and confront her.

It's better here to solve the problem indirectly.
I would suggest you keep trying to go down on her, but in a 69 manner.
(make sure you're all clean and shaved and smell good, this needs no explaining)
Just because she said no, doesnt mean shes never going to actually do it. You know, Sometimes girls just NEED a reason to do something.

So the next few times you guys get together, go for 69 position, avoid any penetration.
Dont be afraid to tell her that you're not satisfied with the lack of oral sex from her side. Maybe after once or twice things will change.

Thats just my advice, its not written in stone. goodluck & hf.

[BloodyViper]

Depends on the girl actually, what you need to do.