If there's no k-close by the first date, and nothing by the second date, put her off until she starts texting and calling you more. I have no problem kissing her in the middle of the date because it should be comfortable by the time it happens, and if she distances herself from me, she's not that attracted after all and is just enjoying being taken out and not enjoying the company. I'm not going to waste my energy pursuing more than I feel I should. Some girls react great to being kissed unexpectedly, some are shocked by it, but after a few days they might get a kick out of the unpredictability.
I think because I am blunt about talking about sexuality in general, am non judgmental if she sleeps with me now or later (I'm a feminist - where I think women need to explore all avenues, smashing some of their traditional way of thinking made them better in bed and confident, and if they move on, so be it), pleasing them first, and I don't treat any woman like a notch or used just for sex and forgotten once you got what you wanted, it makes things a lot easier.
I also put some distance in if I don't want to get too close, so it might be a few weeks that go by before there's a second or third date. I try to make the biggest impact on the first date, follow it up with phone calls here and there, letting her know I had a great time, but delaying the next date a little bit. Just enough time for her to want to see me, not too long where she thinks I'm putting her off. And it might not be on weekends, it might be mid-week, for a couple of hours. It could even be a movie date (make sure it's a really short movie, cartoons usually run under 90. Sex and the City is almost 2 1/2 hours. Kung Fu Panda would be the type of movie to go see. Plus going to movies mid-week there's usually no crowd) , but most likely it'll be going out somewhere to eat or have a drink, but nothing dress up. It could be Happy Hour after work (it doesn't mean you have to drink alcohol, it could be for half off on appetizers with a soda), just to get a little bit of face time in, and I might see then if she wants to hang out a little bit longer, at her place (maybe something good is on TV and we can take it to go) or my place for a little bit, esp. if it's close to where one of us lives. Always "for a little bit",and because it's earlier, there's no expectation that she's coming over for sex. If it was 2AM on a Sat. night that's another story, but it's roughly 6-7 PM by the time you're ready to head out. Works great if you have same interests..sports, TV shows that you both follow.
Some sexual tension is good, but if you're coming across as having too much sexual tension, it's going to be a huge turnoff and can come across as intimidating.  | 
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