Shit or Get off the pot.....

[BrianStone]

Ok! Its a long one so here goes been friends with a HB9 for like a year as I met her after being recently divorced and number closed her but never called as i would see a different lady at the bar all the time. I have never showed any interest in her as anything more than someone to talk to if we ran into each other. Anyways months later she asks me to do something with her so i say I'm busy Ive been seeing so and so which she has heard about. weeks later i LJBF this girl and the friend calls within days to check up we go out one night and she throws the ASD when i try and kiss her. Big deal.
She calls on A sunday
HB "Hey what you doin Im Bored"
ME "Not too much Goin to fav sportsbar to watch the game"
HB "Oh That would be sooo much fun"
Me "Well im gonna meet some friends there you can come along"
HB "That would be awesome but I cant Bla Bla Bla
Me "K well I gotta get goin Ill Talk to ya later."
The next day she calls.
HB "What did you end up doin yesterday"
Me "WENT TO WATCH THE GAME"
HB "What friends did you go with"
Me "Well I Stopped and picked up HB8(Another FB) and we met a bunch of other couples there?"
HB "WTF You always have to have a backup"
Me "WHOA I Have the freedom to do what I want and You were invited Blah blah
then i find out she is trying to work on things with her ex....thats cool i can leave her alone.....a few months go by and she starts calling again.....and i tell her to drop the crap if she wants to date lets start seeing each other and i get the good old I really like you but im getting over him routine. Fine no calls from me. Of course she calls to do something we go out she starts mentioning a friend of hers who i slept with on New Years! All I can think is this friend told her.
So I wait a bit and ask "What did you do for New Years?"
HB "Nothing.I know you went to a party and saw so and so there"
At this point I think She knows and is trying to test me
ME "Look I know I asked you out a while ago and all but I see us as friends and friends only. I dont know whats goin on with you but I did sleep with so and so on New years. We were both drunk shit happens. Did she tell you or something?"
HB "She never mentioned that." BULLSHIT
ME "Well i Have nothing to hide as we are friends and nothing else"
Next Day Text
HB "Im really glad you told me that. If I would have found out from her I would
have thought you were a dick! Trying to date me but screwing her.
ME "Hey No Prob. I was fine with telling you as I have no reason not to"
Blah Blah
This was last A week ago Sunday. She calls and makes small talk a couple nites last week. We see each other Thursday Kino try to Kiss-Close
Shot Down ASD?
She Texts after i leave
HB " Lets get together this weekend"
ME "Im goin Icefishing"
HB "OH that sucks! Where? with who?"
ME " me and 10 friends"
HB "That would be fun"
I dont reply
Anyways Ice fishing trip goes as planned "Drunk On Ice 08
She texts me at like 3 in the morning the first nite there.
HB "Hows the fishing?"
Me "Playin Poker! Drunk"
HB " Who with?"
I dont respond.
Sunday On the way home I see her trying to call I Ignore and get a voicemail
HB "Hey You! Just calling cuz i feel like we havent talked in days! I know your busy Ill call you later!"
After i get home I meet a FB and her friend at my best friends house for a playoff game! She calls.
HB " whatcha doin?"
ME "watching the game at a friends"
HB "K Ill call ya later!"
ME "Bye!"
She calls
HB " who was all there sounded like more women then men"
ME " *FB *Her Friend and *Best friend"
HB "Oh Bla bla bla"
She acts all butt hurt for a bit and I get off the phone after a few minutes.
Anyways I am Sick of this chick. I see her as someone I want to LTR but Im Not gonna Ask her again especially when She wont even kiss me!
She Knows I would go out with her. She mentions other guys and gets no response from me or I give her a "Thats Cool" Attitude cuz i honestly dont care. Yet when I give her the LJBF routine she gets mad when I see others?
I need a good Routine that basically says
"Hey I like you you like me. You seriously need to shit or get off the Pot! Im Cool with whatever. Stay or walk!"

[BrianStone]

Bear In Mind this has been Over the course of almost a year. It was mid Dec when i asked her out!

[The_Jedi]

You answered your own question in the last statement of your first post, bro. Tell her that exactly. You don't like the way it's been going, so either you two find out if it's right, or maybe you should just not see each other at all, as it always seems to be causing problems of some sort. End of story.

[slim_chance]

In my opinion it sounds like you have a shitload of attraction. So thats good thats why she keeps trying to invest time with you and calling you. I think you need to qualify her on a couple very specific things unique to her in order for her to be comfortable with you. She needs to feel like she's special from all the other gurls your fucking is what i'm trying to say.

I think saying,"Hey I like you you like me. You seriously need to shit or get off the Pot! Im Cool with whatever. Stay or walk!" will add to the attraction she has for you because it makes you non needy and alpha but it doesn't solve the underlying issue of why she won't move to the next step with you.

[BrianStone]

K Im gonna make her qualify herself and as soon as she does Shes gettin that line verbatim......i know her shes gonna try to beat around the bush instead of answering and Im gonna bust her balls for it

[sdnightfly]

"I have this crazy idea.... me and you being exclusive with each other and see what happens for a little bit. Maybe we can go a few weeks..a few months and go from there. I definitely have no problem committing, and I have no problem not committing, but I'm willing to see how it goes if you are. If you can't, I can respect that. I'll give you a couple of days to think about it, and I won't bring it up again... and I don't think anything major will change between us"

[BrianStone]

OK
So she calls last nite we talk for a bit and i cut the phone call very short. 1 minute max. As soon as I get off the phone I text her
Me "What is it you look for in a relationship? And I only ask because its a question i havent been able to figure out about you?
HB "Assholes! Ya Gotta be Mean! HAHA jk i dunno honestly. Nothing has worked out so far"
Me "Lame! Its a serious question! You should answer it.
HB " Kids make me nervous I wont Lie, even tho I have one"
(i have 2 she has 1)
ME " Well Thats too bad! I absolutely love kids! Theyre so much fun!" (TRUE)
HB " I love kids too! Thats the problem! It makes it harder when the time comes to seperate."
ME "Yea I try to protect mine from that ! ( I have 50/50 custody and will not introduce them to women until its very serious)
HB " And I was joking with my first response"
ME " Think of a serious answer then silly or Ill Bust Your balls for it! Honestly i wanna Know and what you think about It!"
HB " Oh my i havent thought about it in so long! I ve just been such a creature of habit and go back to my exes LOL"
ME" Get your brain working then! Strike 2!!!!
HB " Communication is good. And i would like to be able to have fun! and I guess trust! I dunno! i will have to think more"
ME " There ya go! You think about it then! Then let me know what else then ill tell you what i think i have figured out."
HB " You have the qualities I look for?! What have you figured out."
ME "Ha ha no! I simply asked you what your looking for in a relationship! You see what you want!"
HB "Yeah. What do you think you have figured out?"
ME "Why have you ever walked away from a Job? Cuz it was good? Cuz u were satisfied? Would you stay or go back to that job given a choice because a more satisfying job is too hard to pursue?" ( Saw this on here. Awesome! Credit to whoever!!!)
HB "No a good job is worth the effort! I'm Lost"
ME "Why do you do the same thing in relationships then? Why settle for something you were already unhappy with?"
Me " I HAVE to get to bed! Night!"

She calls first thing in the AM Saying she didnt sleep well but she avoided bringing this up! So I did. And she admitted all her friends keep telling her to date me. I hurried off the phone cuz im gonna make her think about this

[BrianStone]

She called twice again later! Let it go to voicemail! Tommorow Im gonna hit her with that line sdnightfly! thats a good one