Need help with LMR - "You don't want to be serious with me."

[FriedOkra]

Having trouble with the f-close on an HB7-fashionista. We are very good friends (known each other for 18+ months) but just recently started our physical relationship.

She had LMR on our last date, but I brushed it off and figured sex would happen next week. Today I emailed her about New Year's Resolutions, and she said something like-

I need to stop being so cheap and easy. You do not want to be serious with me in a relationship.

She has a few hang-ups that I could never click with. And I like her too much as a friend to bullshit and tell her that we could be exclusive.

What pisses me off is that I know she has slept with her last two boyfriends within the first few dates. I treat her SO MUCH better, she loves spending time with me (when I am nice to her), and still...

Any suggestions to convince her that we can have a mutually beneficial sexual relationship?

[DanJer]

Tell her your not looking for a relationship but more a FB.... read somewhere about a great 'routine' where you set the frame that
here <ONS>.....................(grey area)........................<Exclusive relationship>To here

There's a big grey area. That being in the grey area is about having fun and doing what you want and feel comfortable with.

[FriedOkra]

Should I just continue building comfort on our next date? I assume that I should keep the frame under my control and do a few freeze-outs as needed. Do I need to project anything sexual in advance? For example, if we start making out, I could pull back and say,

"Hey, don't start something that you can't finish like last time. If this is going to happen, we need to be safe, and it is something we both need to want. I want you to enjoy it so much that you get goosebumps at work tomorrow just thinking about what we did."

Using my understanding of Riker's 3 Rules there. And then if she LMR's with relationship talk, I go into DanJer's gray area talk.

[DanJer]

It's not my grey area talk. I read it somewhere. When i find it again credit will be given.

[TheRogue]

See if this works for you...

Converting Girl Friends into 'Girlfriends'

Cheers,

Rogue