This girl is SICK !

[Maradona]

Hi guys...

I've been having this on-off, hot/cold, push/pull relationship with this girl for a few weeks now and I do really like her. Possible one-itis.

She goes to the Carribbean to visit her family and quote because she 'Needs to address her emotions' after having broken up with her long term boyfriend at the end of May. She gives me the eyes, kino is great and connection rocks. I mean the 'I'm in love with you' eyes. We have kissed many times and slept together.

She gets to the Carribbean and I hear less from her obviously. Hardly texts me or calls and I send the odd one here and there, thinking, give the girl the space she needs and dont be needy.

Tonight, I am feeling playful and want to see what her response is so I text her: 'I think you are the hottest girl in Trinidad'....to which I get no reply....so I text her an hour later saying....'Baby, baby my bad, the hottest girl in the Carribbean'...no response until 3 hours later or so and this is what it says !! My best friend is good friends with her and knows she has commitment issues and it apparently took her a year to accept her ex was her boyfriend.

'Thank you for your messages but i dont deserve them. Coming away has given me clarity and I cant offer you more than platonic friendship. I think the world of you which is why I got confused. I dont want to waste your time expecting something that I cant give which is why im trying to be upfront from now '

then I think Johnny Soporno...see how that rides with her so I respond...Adjusted slightly and thanks to Johnny

'I'm happy you have clarity...just to get things clear myself, i am not interested in being your boyfriend or having you as a girlfriend, theres no romantic crush aspect of how i feel...just true, real, justifiable appreciation, and thats enough ! Secondly, I am already your friend which makes you much more important and interesting than someone I'd just like to have sex with - and I wouldnt change that for the world - but i am a boy and you are a girl and thats a nice arrangement...i wouldnt interfere with you meeting your mr right nor would i stop meeting or being with other girls...id appreciate any pointers and would be more than happy to hook you up with any guys I think might suit you...im going to leave this with you, no urgency, nothing will change between us either way, at least not negatively...we can enjoy each others company, and you can always rely on me for non-judgemental acceptance.'


Response within 30 secs:

'I didnt mean to offend you. Obviously I misunderstood and i was trying to do the right thing but got it wrong. I'm sorry'

then I say...

'You didnt offend me in the slightest, im smiling as I write this text...nice to hear from you...and what are you sorry about ?!! dont get it'

Finally she says (within 20 secs)

'I find your behaviour utterly confusing and it is clear that I have been the one wasting time giving so much thought to your seemingly mixed messages. I'm glad everything is straightened out now.'

and i say....' I do miss you by the way, much better when you are around x'

_____________

My interpretation is that this was a glorified shit test, and she lost. I could tell I hurt her with the Johnny lines and she wasnt expecting it...She's also testing herself as to how long she can go without me over there and I dont think its working...


WTF is she thinking and how can i keep things warm if she is trying to have some distance. I know things will escalate again when she gets back even though she will try and suppress/fight her true emotions...HELP !

Oh, and 3 days before we slept together, she also said that she thinks she couldnt give me anything other than friendship. So this is the 2nd time........

[mistressmisty]

Originally Posted by Maradona

_____________

My interpretation is that this was a glorified shit test, and she lost. I could tell I hurt her with the Johnny lines and she wasnt expecting it...She's also testing herself as to how long she can go without me over there and I dont think its working...


WTF is she thinking and how can i keep things warm if she is trying to have some distance. I know things will escalate again when she gets back even though she will try and suppress/fight her true emotions...HELP !

Oh, and 3 days before we slept together, she also said that she thinks she couldnt give me anything other than friendship. So this is the 2nd time........

I agree it is a glorified shit test and you did win. My interpretation is she is really in to you and she doesn't know quite how to express it. So she is trying to push you away. Oh and the friendship line is just that a line. I have used that one myself just like you use your NEG she is doing the same thing she is trying to create a "I'm damaged" personality mostly because AFC responed to it. What I think you should do is set her down and be up front. Don't let her walk all over you. Which is what she is going to try to do if you tell her you possible have one-itis.

[saqchek]

I think if she realizes she's going to lose her friend/lover, she'll pony up and want more. That's just me though. SO I'd do exactly what you said....see other women.

[DeadEyeDick]

She's confused. I'd back-burner it until she gets her mind right and sarge other chicks, bro.

[SeattleWilly]

One thing I have learned through many years of torture is that women do not like to say no. They don't like to hurt feelings, once they get to know someone. They will use everything under the sun instead to avoid having to say no.

Honestly, it sounds a bit try-hard by texting her more than once before she texted you. She is apparently not chasing you, but may have mild attraction.

Sometimes we do something to turn off the attraction switch and it never comes back. Then, because things get colder and colder, we try even harder to get it back. It is borderline one-itis, but it is getting close.

Now, as DeadEye says, she is confused. Or... she might just be a dead fish. Consider also when women go into estrous, their mood can change faster than a cat licks its ass after friskies.

This one is high maintenence IMO, and nothing cures a case of one-itis faster than crazy sex with other women. I would say -- move on. If she chases you, then just be careful not to be too compliant.

Peace

[Metroid]

You say you are giving her space and not being needy, then sending her texts telling her she's hot? Hmmm.
I would stop sending her texts or calls full-stop. Distance makes the heart grow fonder... let the distance do your work for you. Let the emptiness she feels without you help her figure out what she wants (you). Meet other girls while she's gone. If she decides she isn't ready for a relationship after all, you'll already be into other girls who have their ducks in a row.

[saqchek]

Originally Posted by Metroid

You say you are giving her space and not being needy, then sending her texts telling her she's hot? Hmmm.
I would stop sending her texts or calls full-stop. Distance makes the heart grow fonder... let the distance do your work for you. Let the emptiness she feels without you help her figure out what she wants (you). Meet other girls while she's gone. If she decides she isn't ready for a relationship after all, you'll already be into other girls who have their ducks in a row.

This is correct, that's why she's confused about the "mixed signals" your messages are creating. Your texts scream....I CAN"T LIVE WITHOUT YOU.......you did however recover nicely. I'd stop all the texts and let her initiate the texts/calls. Show her that you have another life outside of her (as you should) and trust me, women know good things right when they are about to lose them. At worst, you find somebody else you can chill with on even a higher level than what you two do.

[flash_man]

She's in the caribbean.... she's fucked 20 guys today, and that was just while lying out on the beach getting a morning tan.

Do the same, bang away. It's the only way she'll respect you.

[Regiment]

Originally Posted by flash_man

She's in the caribbean.... she's fucked 20 guys today, and that was just while lying out on the beach getting a morning tan.

Don't know what Caribbean you're talking about... but it isn't the one on Planet Earth.

She's in her home island dude... doesn't mean she's in a orgy of sex while getting a 'morning tan'.

I agree with DeadEye... back-burner... give her some time.

[flash_man]

hmm, I was only trying to help him get over the one-itis. Maybe my imagery was a little rough. Reading it now, maybe it was a little over the top. My bad.

WTF? What did I do to get a warning? Man, I was only trying to help the brother. Whatever.