Trying to "get back" a woman's emotional state

[Savoy]

Have you ever been in a position where it is SO "on" with a woman and then later it's not? How she tell you she thinks you're her soulmate on Wednesday, but on Saturday just wants to be friends?

This isn't unique to women of course - it's a human trait.

For a long time I used to try to do things to bring back emotional states in women. If she'd been interested in me once and wasn't any more, I would try to "tap into" that emotion.

This is treating people like an oil painting. If you paint a boat, and then decide you don't like it, and you paint President Zachary Taylor over it, the boat may not be visible, but it's still there. You can scrape away President Taylor's portrait, and you can recreate the painting of the boat. Well, you probably can't, and neither can I, but someone with sophisticated equipment can.

Well, it doesn't (usually) work that way, especially if you've only known someone a little while. Emotional states are transitory. When it's gone, it's gone. You can create a new one that's similar, and you can (and often should) use the same underlying strategy to recreate the emotional state that you used to create it in the first place, but you are creating a NEW emotional state, not tapping into an old one.

The absolutely worst thing you can do is to try to address this logically. When a woman turns away from your kiss, there's no point in starting a conversation that begins "but you told me you were interested in me" or something similar. With a woman, change her mood, not her mind.

I was reminder of this today when I heard from someone who I'd been interested in a few years ago. I wish someone had given me this advice then.