Has anyone had to *develop* a sense of humor?

[TheMarsVolta]

Originally Posted by Savoy

As in, you decided that your sense of humor wasn't as good as you wanted it to be, and made conscious steps to improve your sense of humor.

I don't want ideas, I want real-life experiences of people who have done this. What did you do? What books or CDs or DVDs did you study, if any? Where did you go? What experiences can you share?

I'm writing about this now and I figure that the Forum would be a great place to do some research.

I've always had a sense of humor, but to start with it was the kind you would only share with your friends, not infront of strangers/acquitences.

So I started to watch what people found funny and made connections, and learned what to joke about and what not to, mostly taking sides of popular opinions of course. (suprise+weird=funny), stuff like that.

[StreetBreed]

Hey - I was asked a question about what it takes to actually learn to improvise and how to learn to make people laugh their asses off for hours - so I figured I might post it in the main thread too.

It doesn't take years (but the more you learn and the more you practice, the better) - it's more like the "realization" that you can actually do such a thing, just like knowing Pickup, when one day you suddenly start "getting it" and YOU SIMPLY DO IT. You cannot possibly have a 2-hours solid canned material (unless you are a professional comic, then you have even more) - but what you can do is BE IN THE ZONE (see through the comic's eye) and know the fundamentals on how to IMPROVIZE, and make people laugh for hours. Of course don't start to tell series of annecdotes one after another - just have fun.

Remember: Life itself is an Improv too. You do it every day. You are programmed by nature to do be able to do it. Your daily survival is itself an improvisation. Jump in and your body will do it.

I would call that an IMPROV PUA trend - something that I'm totally into as a concept. I have done standup comedy, but for me the true Improv is something much higher above that. All it takes is learn the fundamentals + practice. There a lot of good books out there on Amazon; here are just few quick Improv fundamentals:

1. Always say YES! Ideas are RARE and VALUABLE, and you should accept ANY idea (acting on IMPULSE), and build on it as a foundation. It's much harder to try to come up with an idea, so ACCEPT everything - you can make great comedy from ANYTHING (or I should even say from NOTHING).

2. Say YES AND - accept the idea and develop on it (don't just say "Yeah, that's cool you know"). That's one of the major differences between a weak conversation and an ACTIVE conversation (it's about SHARING and ADDING ON).

3. Be CONGRUENT - once you ACCEPT the idea, acept it FULLY and for the whole act. For example you cannot be a cool C&F guy and then turn into a Wuss, just like you cannot come as a pirate and then suddenly be a bird (unless you somehow make sense out of it).

4. Take the idea as a FOUNDATION and AMPLIFY it. Then add Character, Action, Location (Who, What, Where), and rif on it and make punch lines with twists, contrasts, surprises, associations, and "click moments" from realizing the connections (A-Haaa moment). Punch lines can also come from the actual Character or from the Action or even just from Location, or from the mixture of them. For example Bad Ass improvisation, or White Rapper improvisation, or Cocky & Funny improvisation is easier and can go on for hours, simply because all the material comes directly from the Character.

5. Structured Improv - It helps if you have at least some structure as mile stones, like just like A1-A2-A3, or to know that you're doing C&F and then you'll turn the tables like she's chasing you, and at the end FTC & #-close.

Haha, BTW I remember one X-gf who was really pushing my limits.... )) I'm like "So now imagine you are a princess in the Arab world, all alone in the desert..." (Character & Location) and every time I'm about to end it, she is like "And?..." which was totally pissing me off as it's forcing me to ADD ON and ADD ON and ADD ON... but most of the times as you unleash your imagination you add more characters, you find totally funny relationships between them, and they start to do some crazy stuff together, and it's just endless fun... You could think that she's throwing a hoop for me to jump through, but accepting it with Improv mind actually I lead the conversation all the time with the context I choose (my frame control, not hers), and twist it into any direction I want (like C&F or whatever).

Another thing which is a lot of fun is such Imrpov role playing during sex or foreplay... I believe many others had done it too, it's awesome... Once you get a girl into the right mood then it's like if you did it with 10 different girls, lol ))) Good if you are in a monogamic relationship too - variety.

OK guys - have fun and may the Improv and PUA gods be with you!

StreetBreed

[StreetBreed]

Got one more request in that direction, so let's follow that path a bit, I'm posting this too as it might be useful (I guess that should be illustrating the Improv idea).

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So how to come up with the actual punch line??? Usually you can think of a "smart", or "funny" answer, but simply not right away, but later, like after a minute... so here is how:

PRACTICE, and be in THE ZONE - plus the interesting thing is this: as you are amplifying the setup, you actually push your imagination in that direction and give yourself more TIME (and you're building TENSION). This is the most NATURAL and solid path for jokes, as then you realize something (which cannot be every 2 seconds, but rather every 15-30 seconds) and then even the most obvious thing (the first that comes to your mind) that is contradictory or surprising will lead to laughter (RELEASE of the tension), plus you can additionally amplify on that too with more add-on jokes (so finally for that minute you thought it out, and meanwhile you built it to a climax). Also, after some time they may even laugh at half-jokes (especially with good delivery). They may laugh even just because of your attitude and guts to deliver the joke boldly (i.e. they acknowledge your status with laughter).

Example (to a mexican girl, some riffing on a foundation plus a neg joke, between the other things):

(building a foundation, haven't found the joke yet):
... so I took the bus once, just for a change ...
(realizing what you just said, and applying DHV Character):
... not that I NEED change
(amplify, haven't found the next joke yet):
... if I needed CHANGE, I would do something ELSE...
(still looking for it):
... like sing, or dance...
(trying something, if not laughter then at least establishes a bit of a status, that's more of a setup than a punch line):
... Naaah, I don't "DANCE"...
(go on with it, and trying an add-on w/ contradicting twist, a bit of self-humor but it's fine):
... unless I have to )))
(go on, expand on the foundation):
... but anyway, so I'm in that BUS, and it's totally SCARY...
(go on and amplify):
... all crowded, you know... all just HOMELESS people...
(interrupting yourself, and kind of just between the other stuff, delivering the neg add-on joke - looked at the mexican girl, and delivered it boldly in her face in an unexpected funny way with strong eye contact, directly commanding her to laugh):
.. and some MEXICANS... )

At that point she totally laughed at the neg, and her boyfriend too (a friend of mine - we were just having a fun conversation, not sarging her of course), and they were both high-fiving me, he's like: dude, that was awesome, etc. ))

I guess you get the idea - you can actually make fun of everything, as long as you are in the mood, and especially if you play with the stereotypes characterestics and connections (e.g. homeless, Mexicans, white trash, etc.). And it is a skill that you can totally LEARN when you intend it.

Cheers.

StreetBreed

[Sniper82]

My problem is that i had hard time when i try to amplify the setup and search a punchline AT THE SAME TIME.
I'm so wilful when i try to find a punchline that i can't even continue to make the story go on:
"...and when the tiger come out from the milkshake she say.. ("damn sniper you must find an incongruence:twists, contrasts, surprises, associations...where can i find something here?)..ehm..she say.." only when i don't have to tell the story i can find 3,7 or 10 punchline on this setup in only 15 seconds, but if i have to do two things at the same time...
If i think about the story waiting for a punchline it never come and people start to look me like a fool...
How can i resolve this drawback?

[StreetBreed]

Here are my 3 easy steps for developing from trying single jokes to a fun dialogue and a fun monologue:

1 - INTERRUPT YOU FRIEND: Just hang out with your friends, and when someone starts to talk too boring and take himself too seriously, or says something too snobish, or sounds too lofty, or makes an overly-out-there statement (especially with "always" ot "never") - those *OVERLY HIGH* moments are the best time to contradict and ridicule the "overly-out-there" idea with a joke. Sarcasm is actually an enjoyable style - my favourite high-status male is the dad from Everybody Loves Raymond )))

2 - INTERRUPT EACH OTHER: Two friends interrupting each other with jokes for anything the other says is a great fun by itself!! Or at least that's how people talk in the country where I was raised ) Everyone just having fun and interrupting each other by adding to the conversation, like how kids talk to each other naturally, active conversation - not just waiting and waiting for your stupid friend to shut up )) NO POLITICAL CORRECTNESS (key thing), real freedom of speech. Saying whatever you want and making fun of everything that looks stupid - except your boss He'll either way contradict with himself.

3 - INTERRUPT YOURSELF: So - interrupt with jokes!! Interrupting is not as bad as people say Once you get used to it, you will tend to interrupt yourself too ) No need to think about any punch lines. Just tell your story (or whatever you are going to say) - and listen to what you just said )) Even if you don't make (m)any punch lines, it's fine - it's just talk, you're not on the comedy stage where you are required to make a joke. But as a PUA, after saying some pumped-up DHV story about some weird stuff I bet most people would want to interrupt themself and take a big laugh ))))

Of course the joke can be about anything in the story or at the venue - interrupting yourself does not imply just self-humor. For example, in my mexican joke the story developed exactly through such interruptions, like a natural conversation (that's just how it happened on the spot). The story interrupted itself naturally for any kind of reasons:
- interrupt to distinguish yourself as a higher value Character.
- interrupt to take a break and look from aside and make a half-joke.
- interrupt to get back to the story, expand on it add more Characters.
- interrupt to add the target's Character too into it with a neg.

OK, time to interrupt myself too and have some sleep

StreetBreed

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Politically Correct Note: none of the above has other target or purpose than purely scientific value. You can always flame your boss behind his back though.

[nightflight7]

I think watching cartoons like spongebob squarepants actually improved my sense of humour LOADS.

[goek]

I'm surprised nobody's mentioned Comedy Writing Secrets by Helitzer yet. Dave Deangelo recommended this book on one of his dvd's and I read it.

As far as books can help you with developing your sense of humour, I think this one is a very good one. It breaks comedy down in a couple of categories and contains examples by well known comedians to illustrate this.
The most useful thing in this books though... are the exersises. There are loads of them! For instance you get to find and collect stuff that you think are funny (comics, jokes, whatever) and you get to really break down WHY that is funny to you... much like a philosopher or scientist even. Understanding the science of comedy really helps. Even right on the spot it becomes obvious what joke to make to something happening or being said.

This is all pretty helpful, but I'm sure practice and things like improv courses can help you so much better. I haven't done one yet myself, but I'm defenitely gonna look into that.

[MakeMyDay]

There were 4 different but related ways I improved my humor (at least, the target/audience thought it was real funny) :-
1) use of hyperbole (situational exaggeration of existing conversation piece)
2) use of contrast (can either come across as interesting/thoughtful change of direction, or funny, especially if it turns a serious topic into a funny one)
3) repeated use of a prop (a funny attribute or characteristic of 1 person in the group)
4) interspersing nerdy/interesting facts (I AM a walking encyclopedia) with follow-up references to 1 person in the group as having some relevance to the said fact (sometimes it becomes a gentle neg)

Delivery also counts a lot : sometimes i deliver it deadpan, stealthy bugger that I am, and it only dawns on them slowly.....that it can also be construed as a joke! Other times, it is a short comment that brightens up a boring conversation, in which case everybody appreciates the comic relief.

Being at one time an internationally ranked Scrabble player (#363), my type of humor often tends toward wordplay, innuendo, double entendre, and naughty suggestive remarks that can be either taken straight or crooked.

I first tested it in online chats, then graduated to day game. It seems to help disarm the ever present bitch shield if you can make them laugh. And yes, I think I'm pretty good at it.

I live in Asia, more specifically, where the bitch shield is combined with typical Asian reserve. Of all the southeast Asian countries, I think Singapore has the frigidest HBs, in complete contrast to the climate, and I happen to be in this freeze zone. So the humor helps open like 70% of the ice queens around, since they never expect it.

Learn more on your day game

[Orpheus7]

I went to a lot of stand up comedy shows..

[MakeMyDay]

Originally Posted by Orpheus7

I went to a lot of stand up comedy shows..

Does it help in developing your witty repartees? We don't have much of that here in stupid straightlaced Singapore, but all the better for me, less competition from the AFCs.