My gf is confusing me!?!?!

[Help Me Please]

alright, heres the facts, any advice would be great because i truly love this girl and want this to work!
me and my girlfriend have been dating for 11 months....our relationship has always been pretty much perfect. good times, good dates, good sex, conversation, etc. etc...
the past month or so, fighting has become more prevelant which has affected us a little bit...now we are in college together and we have moved away from our homes to do this. She was veryyyy restrained at home, curfew at 1030, not allowed out too much, at most id see her twice a day for no more than 3 hours..we used to have sleepovers and stuff once a week and that helped us progress as a couple....her family and her are veryyy close and now that we are at college she obviously misses them...
now, weve been at college for 6 days, and shes acting kinda blah, and we had some emotional talks about us the past few days....yesterday night she told me she thought that she needed space but she has no idea why and it bothers her because usually she loves the attention etc. (im pretty affectionate)..since colleg started weve been hanging out alotttttt more than normal, like almost spending the whole days together, and shes bothered by it because shes no longer as excited as she used to be when we hang out, its sort of routine now..
we usually are very sexually active but since college has started we have not done it as much as we used to and she is less in the mood to, more often.
there are no other boys, girls affecting this, she swears she still loves me and wants me for a long time, she just dosent understand what shes feeling...
my question, what should i do to save this situation? please any help would be most appreciated cuz i really care about this girl and can see us lasting a while.
thank you

[LewsTherin]

Back off and give her some space. Being around constantly is very draining. Make her miss you.

[Help Me Please]

^^thanks for the advice, one more thing though, how do i back off with out her getting the sense of something being different? cuz usually when i try to back off shell ask me whats wrong?

[jiggatycoon]

Originally Posted by Help Me Please

^^thanks for the advice, one more thing though, how do i back off with out her getting the sense of something being different? cuz usually when i try to back off shell ask me whats wrong?

Be more busy. Don't blow her off, but the key is to occupy yourself and create needed space and freedom.

[Doesit]

i been in an ltr that lasted 6years. And afterwards i recognized that i had shutten down automatically one thing that u shoul always do and that is progress. Progress in getting to know you and jus yourself better to enrichen your character. Of course it is hard to not letting her know if u take time (for example 10 hurs a week ) to do something completely different(skydiving bungee chess learn dancing ) that is way out of the universe of your relatinship. But in my opinion itll be the only way to prevent you from loving her more than yourself and to keep and create a beautifufl sense for yourself (respect is included) that is the only lil guarantee in the long run to be able to have that attraction. Sry for my english.

[DESERT EAGLE]

Why the hell do guys on here plan their moves based on the woman? Just do whatever the hell u wanna do. The whole deal should be about you and if she doesn't fit into that mold then forget her and get someone else. You can be kind to a woman and loving, but don't take over board. She has requirements she has to meet to make you happy and vice versa. Man, my general advice guys on this forum is to grow a pair!

[sdnightfly]

You said it's "routine", for you or her? Don't say both..if you were to pick one or the other, who would you say feels it's more routine? That's a big part of the problem.

A relationship at 18 is going to change over time.. in a couple of years, you'll know what I mean. At certain points in life and the different people you date, you'll grow and evolve, and start realizing what it is you want in someone.

College is stressful and overwhelming (which is a mood killer), it's a lot of new people from different places, and everyone wants to make a good impression.
She needs the space right now because her mindset is having to adjust to a lot of things.

And don't try to save anything. Let everything run its course. There is no guarantee your relationship is going to survive college, few relationships do. People go through changes in that time, because you are finding your true identity. Being part of a group is still important, but not as important as it was in high school. And without a doubt there's a lot of temptation, and while you're still single (and you are still single until you're married), it's really difficult to resist it. You can love your girlfriend, but things might wind up happening with other girls.

A relationship takes a lot of work, patience and forgiveness. It's more important to get through school in one piece and keep your GPA up. Too many people have dropped out because a relationship went bad and it affected them.

Just enjoy what you have going now, and give each other space as needed. And promise each other no secrets from each other.

Originally Posted by Help Me Please

alright, heres the facts, any advice would be great because i truly love this girl and want this to work!
me and my girlfriend have been dating for 11 months....our relationship has always been pretty much perfect. good times, good dates, good sex, conversation, etc. etc...
the past month or so, fighting has become more prevelant which has affected us a little bit...now we are in college together and we have moved away from our homes to do this. She was veryyyy restrained at home, curfew at 1030, not allowed out too much, at most id see her twice a day for no more than 3 hours..we used to have sleepovers and stuff once a week and that helped us progress as a couple....her family and her are veryyy close and now that we are at college she obviously misses them...
now, weve been at college for 6 days, and shes acting kinda blah, and we had some emotional talks about us the past few days....yesterday night she told me she thought that she needed space but she has no idea why and it bothers her because usually she loves the attention etc. (im pretty affectionate)..since colleg started weve been hanging out alotttttt more than normal, like almost spending the whole days together, and shes bothered by it because shes no longer as excited as she used to be when we hang out, its sort of routine now..
we usually are very sexually active but since college has started we have not done it as much as we used to and she is less in the mood to, more often.
there are no other boys, girls affecting this, she swears she still loves me and wants me for a long time, she just dosent understand what shes feeling...
my question, what should i do to save this situation? please any help would be most appreciated cuz i really care about this girl and can see us lasting a while.
thank you

[j dot]

Originally Posted by sdnightfly

You said it's "routine", for you or her? Don't say both..if you were to pick one or the other, who would you say feels it's more routine? That's a big part of the problem.

A relationship at 18 is going to change over time.. in a couple of years, you'll know what I mean. At certain points in life and the different people you date, you'll grow and evolve, and start realizing what it is you want in someone.

College is stressful and overwhelming (which is a mood killer), it's a lot of new people from different places, and everyone wants to make a good impression.
She needs the space right now because her mindset is having to adjust to a lot of things.

And don't try to save anything. Let everything run its course. There is no guarantee your relationship is going to survive college, few relationships do. People go through changes in that time, because you are finding your true identity. Being part of a group is still important, but not as important as it was in high school. And without a doubt there's a lot of temptation, and while you're still single (and you are still single until you're married), it's really difficult to resist it. You can love your girlfriend, but things might wind up happening with other girls.

A relationship takes a lot of work, patience and forgiveness. It's more important to get through school in one piece and keep your GPA up. Too many people have dropped out because a relationship went bad and it affected them.

Just enjoy what you have going now, and give each other space as needed. And promise each other no secrets from each other.

this is exactly what i was thinking when i read your post
it's really hard to just let things happen the way they are going to when you really care about someone, but most of the time that's what ends up making things worse
the last thing you need to do in your present situation is look needy
and if you keep trying too hard that's exactly what you're going to do
you just need to show her that you're the best thing going for her
also, make your own plans....have time for her, but make sure you're getting out and doing your own thing

[Doesit]

mad props to j dot. DOnt thing somebody could have broken it down any clearer and better!!
Wish 5 years ago id have someone some forum like this that would have helped out like u guys are doing here. Do I sound needy =) @Help me please: There u go

PS: And dont forget- If the girl is super pretty and has at least half of an heart its veeery easy to fall for her . And there r plenty of em all over the world at least a few potential millions

[smilenbseen]

Spice it up a little bit, try new things. I always spend a lot of times with the girls I date and in the past I was finding the same thing as you happening once in awhile. Now I work on weekend getaways, going out to dinner at new places, on a college budget you will have to be creative but it's very possible, same goes with sex, mix it up! Now that being said there is a very high possibility you guys will not be together forever, people change a ton in college and you will probably grow apart. It sounds like if you guys break up you're going to have oneitis which sucks, but it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to have a few girl(friends) that you keep in touch with and treat nice so that if you do break up you have a hopper full of rebounds. Oneitis isn't a switch you can turn on and off, but hooking up with other girls can certainly help speed it up. Just don't let your world be this one girl even if you spend almost all your time with her.