Is she pulling out the jealousy card? what should i do?

[CMoney15]

Hey guys, Im kinda new on this thing so bare with me and please help a fellow guy out who is still learning the ropes. I'm familiar with Mystery Method, The game, etc. read em, follow em, love em. Its kinda how i got this girl i just started seeing....

I've been dating this girl for a month or two now and whenever we hang out we have a lot of fun, enjoy each others company - you get the picture. Well every now and then she goes out with her one girlfriend who is a little playerette and "runs circles around boys" she says. When she goes out with her she always tells me how they go to the bars and flirt with guys to get attention so they'll buy her drinks or they'll play the number game and see how many numbers they can get. btw she's an HB9. Definitely won the gene lottery. -either way she goes to the bars and doesn't bring her wallet knowing and expecting all her drinks are giong to be for free. In return for the attention and drinks guys give her she flirts with them, etc. The she always tells me about it the next day.

i.e. "OMG i went out last night and wore my extentions and all the boys were giving me SOOOOO much attention it was so much fun"

"All these boys kept buying me shots last night at the bar and i got soooooo drunk"

She lives for the attention!!! more than any girl i know. and it pisses me off! i try not to be AFC about it. I never accuse her of anything or show that I'm mad because I don't want to look insecure, etc. One of my buddies says that she's trying to make me jealous to get a reaction out of me.

My questions is how should I play this off with her when she does tell me about stuff like this in the future?? cuz it really is annoying and I'm gonna be honest...gets under my skin.

also, do you guys have any tips as far as ways to maybe make her squirm a little or get her a little jealous?? or see if theres a little jealously even there? Shes told me before she just isn't a jealous person. but i don't believe that. haha.

Thanks guys.

[Voytech]

She's definitely telling you this to see how you react. If you react negatively and tell her its not cool you'll lose value in her eyes. In my opinion this is perfectly her right to do so and if you're not cool with it find someone else.

If I were you, id simply embrace it and be totally happy that I have a girlfriend that other guys desire. I sometime purposely go out with my girlfriend and another girl and let other guys hit on my gf while I sit back and talk to her friend and get free drinks since it would be rude for him not to buy for her whole group.

You can't change her. You can only accept her or not.

In my opinion she isn't doing anything wrong. She knows what her boundaries are and you should dump her if she crosses them. Getting guys to hit on her and buying her drinks is not crossing those boundaries.

If you really can't handle it, find someone less attractive.

[masterH]

Act like you don't care.

tell her how you solicited a drink from a girl and say 'we are not a perfect match'

[Growing Pains]

she is doing something wrong. Thats blatant disrespect. tell her to go do what she gotta do and leave her.
And the other guy,voytech, u sit back and watch dudes hit on your girl and buy her drinks>?

[dhies]

Originally Posted by Growing Pains

she is doing something wrong. Thats blatant disrespect. tell her to go do what she gotta do and leave her.
And the other guy,voytech, u sit back and watch dudes hit on your girl and buy her drinks>?

Heck, my ex and I would tell stories to each other about how we got hit on.

I've watched her get hit on by other guys and it's almost too funny to watch without pissing myself.

So, yes, I have watched exes get hit on and done nothing about it.

Now, don't get me wrong, if I see it's going to far, I'll step in. There is a huge difference.

[Voytech]

Originally Posted by Growing Pains

she is doing something wrong. Thats blatant disrespect. tell her to go do what she gotta do and leave her.
And the other guy,voytech, u sit back and watch dudes hit on your girl and buy her drinks>?

How is what she is doing blatant disrespect? When she goes out with her friends, she's gonna get hit on and she's gonna flirt. Flirting in that context is not disrespectful. You're just too insecure. There can be a situation that it is disrespectful, such as if she cancels plans with him to flirt with other guys or directly does it in front of him to make him feel bad. From what I read of the op this is not the case...

And yeah I sit back and enjoy other dudes buying all of us drinks trying to impress her and am secure enough to not feel threatened by other guys. It is also very fun to watch and I never worry that it will go too far. You both have to set each other free and have trust, if you don't your relationship won't last. Do you really think telling your gf what to do will work? She'll just learn to fool you better. I've been there but now I'm old enough to know better.

I'm gonna guess that you think that 'acting' like you want to fight every guy who hits on your gf or getting pissed at her because she enjoys being hit on makes you attractive to her, but you are wrong

[TheRogue]

Try playing the game back at her. Do what she does. Go out sarging, open sets, talk to girls, and get some drinks/numbers (don't cross any boudaries that you wouldn't want your gf to cross). Then tell her how your night went. One of three things should happen:

1.) You'll both have fun going out and getting attention while maintaining your relationship. Knowing that there are many other girls out there for you will lessen your insecurity.

2.) She'll get jealous and tame down her behavior, after which you can tame down your sarging.

3.) You'll realize what she's doing still drives you nuts and you don't want this kind of a relationship. Then you bail and find a girl who doesn't party so much.

Either way, it's up to you to decide what you're willing to handle. As you can see, some guys are totally fine with watching their gfs get drinks from random guys, and some have serious issues with it. You gotta determine which category you fit into and act accordingly.

Rogue

[CMoney15]

I agree with both sides for the most part - There is in fact no denying that if she goes out and gets hit on by guys and I'm pissed about it that it is an insecurity issue. We went out last night for dinner and in conversation we were talking about that night (she brought it up and we weren't talking about her getting hit on) but I guess there was some miscommunication on her part just from what i thought and the full context of the story- from what she said she made it sound like they go out to bars and much like we would open sets on girls, they would open sets on guys and have them hover around them all night and bask in the attention and drinks haha. when in fact they just go out as friends, knowing of course they are going to be hit on, socialize with guys, and get drinks with it as well, which I'm totally fine with cuz I know its not her fault she's hot and guys want her. But if she was purposefully going up to guys cuz she knows shes hot and be rubbin all up on them for drinks then I would have an issue with that, which is what she made it sound like she was doing the first time she told me.

but now she is sending me mixed signals cuz after that night she went out I was on the phone with her and she was telling me how much she loved the attention, etc. and last night she started telling me how it actually kinda annoyed her how much guys were coming up to her, etc.............. i mean what the fuck? haha


Also, guys maybe you can help me out with something else too. We've been dating for 2 months like i said, not in a actual LTR, boyfriend, girlfriend type deal yet but I mean its obvious thats where things are heading for us....hopefully. The girl is extremely busy and stressed with work and some other things going on in her life. I don't know what to do - sometimes she gives me vibes she likes me and other times shes just really closed off which im guessing has to do with everything going on right now with her. I don't try to be an AFC but i let her know i understand she's gotta lot of shit going on and if she needs anything to let me know, which she almost always rejects...she's also really stubborn tho too. Also, I'm ready for a commited relationship, apparently i don't think she is at this point but im scared if we sit in this dating zone for too long and I can only see her once a week, and we talk on the phone everyday, because of everythign going on right now with her that the excitement and interest is going to die....what do you guys think, and is there anything I can do??? - this isn't oneitis btw, tho i do like her, I'm honestly just confused, i've never been in a territory like this. thanks!

[Sarge in Charge]

Also, I'm ready for a commited relationship, apparently i don't think she is at this point but im scared if we sit in this dating zone for too long and I can only see her once a week, and we talk on the phone everyday, because of everythign going on right now with her that the excitement and interest is going to die....what do you guys think, and is there anything I can do???

A BF - GF "label" is not on its own going to keep the excitement and interest alive. Don't force it in that direction because you think that if you don't, you'll lose her.

Give it time and if she's got a lot going on, be patient.

[Vapor]

What do you care if she goes out, flirts, and gets free drinks?