Gf 1 month, 2nd thoughts: URGENT - The Attraction Forums

Mada · #1 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 04:05 PM

SHort and sweet.

Been with a girl for about a month, spend nearly every day together, past week or so, she has been telling other friends that she has 2nd thoughts about going out with me, doubts, feels a little guilty and 'wants what she can't have.' we both used the word love within a month. big mistake i know.

Told nothing to me, but i'm smart enough to realise that this probably isn't going anywhere. I want a way to bring this up without being whiney, i'm fully aware advice will be break it off, but i want to do it leaving a good impression, even option for friends, or relationship when ready.

Thoughts?

dhies · #2 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 04:14 PM

Break it off. That's the best way to end it and be on good terms. Plus, you get to keep your balls. Learned that the hard way...

Be up front and honest. Confront her with the ever-dreaded "We need to talk...." Then, talk about where things are going.

She may be upset, she may not be, but at least you'll leave with dignity and she'll respect you.

As to the friends, that's a maybe. The relationship when your ready? I really wouldn't count on it.

masterH · #3 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 09:21 PM

Looks like you are a clingy guy and attached to her

It's matter of time she will say 'let's take a break' so it would be better to say it first.

But if I were you, I would stop contacting her.
If you don't call her just for couple days, she will be wondering crazy.
without telling her 'let's take it slowly', you can make her see you only couple times a week by showing her you have other fun things going on your life other than her

yeah meeting everyday was too excessive. even txting her everyday will make you a clingy guy lol

sdnightfly · #4 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 10:01 PM

Spend less time with her. Let "things" come up where you can't see her, don't be so available to her. This way you're not "taking" her from her friends. Let her miss you a bit. The quicker you learn that spending every free moment you have with someone can ruin what could turn out to be good, the better off you'll be.

I don't say "break up" unless she's ruining you in some way, plus this is still an early time in getting to know someone. She shouldn't have any idea in less than a month if you're seeing other people.

What is it that she "wants but can't have"?

Mada · #5 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 11:07 PM

Thanks for the replies,

Yes, i have been told buy everyone to chill and stop taking this so seriously. I didn't break it up with her, i saw her today, a bad move maybe, but now at least i have peace of mind. I'm gonna let some things come up, and really stop taking this as seriously.

Can't wait till friday, to go out to some clubs!

Mada · #6 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 11:28 PM

Afterthought, even though i know she has 2nd thoughts, she always states how she is looking for a LTR. still i think i'll take a step back from now on, also gotta continue sarging.

Muzzi17 · #7 (**permalink**) 08-24-2008, 11:47 PM

Just don't drag it on if you plan on breaking it off. If you want to at least receive some respect from her friends down the road, break it off and keep it neutral. Preserving that respect with others comes by not leading her on through phone calls and txts. People like to gossip...you don't want to get caught up in that.

Mada · #8 (**permalink**) 08-25-2008, 12:10 AM

It's not that i don't like her dude, but i'm pretty sure she has lost that initial sexual attraction for me that she once had. I'm definetely becoming a pussy in this relationship. Since i don't know how to re-instate that sexual attraction, i don't know if i can save the relationship.

I'm gonna follow the advice of not being so available, and stop being pussy in the relationship, and also try and revive the sexual spark. If i can't then i'm gonna cut my losses.

masterH · #9 (**permalink**) 08-25-2008, 02:17 PM

What sexual attraction?

she doesn't even want to kiss or touch you? and she looks at you differently?

You are not complaining just because she is not having sex with you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mada

It's not that i don't like her dude, but i'm pretty sure she has lost that initial sexual attraction for me that she once had. I'm definetely becoming a pussy in this relationship. Since i don't know how to re-instate that sexual attraction, i don't know if i can save the relationship.

I'm gonna follow the advice of not being so available, and stop being pussy in the relationship, and also try and revive the sexual spark. If i can't then i'm gonna cut my losses.