is she cheating? should i be jealous?

[El Tiburon]

alrite so ive been with my girl bout 9 months
im her 2 boyfriend and the 2nd guy to fuck her
shes a pretty deccent girl(as far as i know)
5 months ago she went to the movies with 2 of her guy co workers
i gave her shit about it and she hasnt really done that again
i broke up with her over that over the phone, but wot back in like a minute hah
she live like 45 minutes from me so i really only visit her once a week when our schedules allow it
about 2 weeks ago i didnt c her for 10 days cus she was on her period
and i guess she got pretty mad at that, when i saw her after those 10 days, we slept at a hotel and when she fell asleep i read her massages
and i saw a message that she sent to one of her guy friends
one said- "but i dont want to movien with him"
the other one said- "I dont feel the same as i used to feel for him"
it didnt show the messages hed sent her
i really doubt shes fucking him cus his such a chump
ive met him b4 and hes a little beta bitch
i totally amoged him
but so i saw her 3 times last week cus she was complaining thet we dont see eachother
but the last lime i saw her we whent to the mountains at the end of the date
(we always fuck when we go to the mountains)
but this time she woudlnt
she said she was tired
and when i went over to her side of the car
she got all defensive and wouldnt even let me touch her
she woulnt accept any of my advances
so i drove her home and i broke up with her b4 she got offf my car
i made it really quick
so a few days ago i go on myspace and post a bulletin that says
"its not my fault"
with a cure song in it
after i poasted that, she put up a picture of me and her and her main photo
so i did the same

then i sent her a text message
saying
"i cant eat i cant sleep"
then she sent me one saying
" r u ok?"
and we went on from there
so we got back together
but didnt really said it
she sent me a message saying
"i miss you"
2 days ago
im suppoused to go see her tomorrow
but i just called her at 11PM after i got outa work
she answered
but i haerd guys talking in the background
she said she was out with her girlfrind but was very vauge about her location
i asked her how many guys were there and she said 4
she said she was going home soon
i just called her twice at around 12 30 and she aint answering
WTF!
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO MAN
SHOULD I BREAK UP WITH HER?
OR DOES SHE REALLY WANT TO BE WITH ME?
I SERIOUSLY FEEL LIKE SHIT MAN
IM SO CONFUSED
id really appreciate ur help
i feel like shit rite now

[El Tiburon]

i just called her again and she didnt answer
should i send her a text?
saying
"answer your phone"

[Yodatg]

Dude - you need to calm down and stop being a needy little bitch - harsh, but true.

So what if there were 4 guys there? You need to work on your inner game. If you're acting like this in your relationship, it's hardly suprising she's sending text messages saying "I don't feel the same as I used to feel for him". You're being NEEDY and LAME mate.

Then you go on myspace and put pictures and songs up?...WTF MAN?!?!! And you said her friend was a beta little bitch...

From what I read of this, you need to step up, grow up, and stop acting like you're 5 years old. Reading her text messages? Man - don't EVER do that again. You're ALWAYS likely to find shit you don't want to read...so save yourself some hassle, and don't bother next time.

My advice is to stop this relationship and get YOUR shit handled first...otherwise you're going to go round in circles, not only with this chick, but with EVERY chick.

My 2 cents

[El Tiburon]

ok well ur right
yodatg
absolutely
i used to be alpha
and have a rotation
but this relationship has crippled me!
how do i return to alpha land?
i still want to salvage this relationship
i hate beta bitches
i hate being one
she just called
back
she said we never got back together
but im seeing her tommorow
how do i stop being jealous?

[sdnightfly]

You both need to talk and it has to be where no matter what she says, you're calm about it and not getting upset.

If you are in a relationship with anyone, one of the most important things is being able to talk openly about anything, and not blowing up and freaking out if she tells you the truth.

I don't think you should be the one going "I can't sleep, I can't eat" to get her attention, it does DLV you a bit. It does come across that you rush things a bit... talking about moving in is pretty serious stuff, and I don't recommend that with someone unless you've been with them for years.

You told her it was over. She told you "we never got back together".

I would probably have a talk with her and find out if she really wants out of the relationship, because it seems that she's keeping something from you. You're both seeing each other once a week, so the reason to break up is because you're both too far is a legit reason and she can't hold that against you. It might cause her to come out to see you more than the other way around.

But if you get upset at her, yell at her, she's going to close you out. If that's the case, there is no relationship anymore.

If you want to be Alpha, start looking into options so you're not focused on her as much, and maybe just see her here and there. Right now, you are free to date anyone. You don't have to be exclusive to her even if you get back together with her.

You're just starting to learn about relationships, and the first one you fall for is the hardest to get over. I had a harder time getting over my first relationship than I did my divorce, mostly because I was able to cope with it a lot better.

If you're a jealous person, you're going to have to work on inner game.

So, be able to let her talk without getting upset, even if it's about cheating. Just take a breath and let her finish.
It's okay to cry a little bit but don't have a breakdown, don't get mad, just realize that it's better to move on with the truth on the table and thank her for being honest with you.
This might lead to having sex with her. Maybe as "goodbye sex" or "makeup sex". Use protection. You don't need to mess up in a moment of weakness. Plus if she has slept with someone else, you don't need to take any chances.

If you do get back together again, let her know that if you both break up again, this is it. Not in a threatening way, just "I don't want to be an on again off again couple".

See what else is out there. You have changed and don't feel as confident in her. There might be someone closer and even better.

[Yodatg]

If you want to return to 'alpha land' as you put it, you need to cut off the contact, or keep it to a minimum, go out and pick up more girls mate. Spend time with your mates. Get on with your life. The fact is, you shouldn't even leave 'alpha land'. You have to maintain that frame throughout the relationship.

I'm not saying be a JACK ASS - because I don't think being 'alpha' is about being a jack ass. I mean lead, be cool through hard times, love openly and remain on your path.

As for stopping being jelous? There is no magic sentence or pill I can say about this man. You need to adopt an abundance mentality and realise, even if she does cheat, its HER loss, and you can pull another girl. No worries. To be completely honest though mate, jelousy will never totally, 100% go away. Its a natural human emotion, but its how you HANDLE it thats important.

When I get the tiniest bit jealous, I force the images and thoughts out of my head, go hang with my buddies, keep busy, and have a rocking good time myself. It really is that simple. Don't bitch, don't whine, and keep your head straight. Most of the time, the jealously you feel is completely stupid. If you DO have legitimate issues, THEN bring it up with her.

Right now, I'm not sure you're in that situation.

My advice - chill it out, don't meet up with her and go and meet other women. You need to work on yourself before I think you should really be in another relationship.