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Old 08-18-2008, 03:33 AM
pascald pascald is offline  - Male
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Age: 24
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Hello,

I've been in a wonderful LTR for little more than a year now and I can pretty much say we're both having the time of our lives together.
We typically see each other 3 days a week and always having a blast and everything works almost flawlessly.
Sex is frequent and awesome too.

However, two small things happended a while ago, I might be overreacting but it sure as hell doesnt feel right.

First of all i've pretty much never showed any sign of jealousy ever.
Both happend while we were drunk together, first time was at an outdoor party where we met a really good looking semi-friend of mine. He was the one hosting the party and my gf immediately went to talk to him and even started touching his muscles etc wtf and even asked me to take a picture of him and her together(she is a pic-o-mania) which I did (didnt wanna act affected or jealous and pretty much just went along with what she said).
No big deal you might say, but im sure she wouldnt like me touching some HBs breasts.

Second thing was a bit worse though.
One of my best friends(really good looking) usually tags along when we're going out together and they always get along well and are having fun talking to each other.
He also loves taking pictures with all kinds of goofy expressions aswell, so when they get together is usually produces some very funny pictures.
So they are sitting in the couch taking lots of pictures with different poses and having a lot of fun, when she suddenly gives him a small kiss on the cheek for one of the pictures.
Maybe I should add that it wasnt really a kiss and doesn't look serious at all, but its still lips against cheeks.
I was at the bathroom when this kiss-thing took place so didnt see it.

The day after we(me&gf) went back to the party place to pick up some stuff and we got a chance to look through all the pictures from the evening and so we did.
When that picture with the 'kiss' showed up me gf went 'uuuuuu' and quickly changed to the next pic.
It immediately felt like I was stabbed in the gut when I saw the pic but I acted unaffected and not jealous at all like I always does, and didnt say a word about it...
The day after she mailed me all pictures from the party except that very one
picture which she removed, whatever that means.
Some weeks after on another party she also told this same guy how good looking etc he was when taking another picture.

This happend 2-3 months ago now and things have gone on as good as ever even since then, but this is slowly eating me up inside making me feel like our relationship really isnt worth that much in the end, that it will surely end sooner or later when she does something even worse.
I cant really relax at all when we're out together anymore either, always worrying that she might do something stupid, not very manly/PUAish yada yada I know, but still thats how I feel.
And it feels even worse when she is going out alone with her friends...

What I need now is some advice about what to do about this,
should I confront her about it and how do I do it without showing jealousy or should I just ignore it and continue enjoying our relationship as I have until now?.
How do I explain not having brought it up earlier?
Or should I even dump her?
Or am I just overreacting a lot over some small unimportant things?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 08-18-2008, 04:29 AM
the_sLiDe the_sLiDe is offline  - Male
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 90
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Personally i don't think its a big deal... i have pics with girls giving me kisses on the cheek and maybe it bothers my gf but she doesn't show it... and anyways i have never cheated and have never even THOUGHT of cheating on my beautiful gf... so anyways i think the most suspicious part of this whole post is the fact that she didn't send you the pic. However, in her head she might be like why the hell would he want a pic of me and another guy... or maybe she just wants to keep it for herself for different reasons. Only that part is somewhat suspicious. And i totally know how you feel about your gf going to touch another guys muscles or taking pics with another guy etc... i would feel the same in your shoes but ultimately i tell myself that i have done stuff like that and to me it means nothing, and so i don't let it bother me... have you done stuff like that? (like take a pic with another girl kissing your cheek etc..)
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Old 08-18-2008, 01:23 PM
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krytek krytek is offline  - Male
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Israel
Age: 19
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don't keep things inside, it only leads to even more bad feelings.
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Old 08-18-2008, 09:11 PM
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sampanye sampanye is offline  - Female
 
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Location: Australia
Age: 21
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The way I see it there is no issue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by pascald View Post
this is slowly eating me up inside making me feel like our relationship really
isnt worth that much in the end
She hasn't slept with someone else, she hasn't been sneaking around behind your back, she hasn't been meeting up with an ex, having lewd, sexual conversations with strangers online... nothing. She's been friendly and maybe a little bit flirty with a few of your friends, IN YOUR PRESENCE.

You need to get a grip on your jealousy. If this sort of behaviour makes you uncomfortable, then by all means let her know. But do it calmly, rationally and AT THE RIGHT TIME.

I personally think you've waited too long to bring up the issue now. If she acts like this again, fine, bring it up. But you've left it several MONTHS. WHY? The window of opportunity has closed. She hasn't acted like this again for two or three months. What makes you think she'll repeat it?

Quote:
it will surely end sooner or later when she does something even worse.
There is no guarantee that she will do something worse. You're becoming paranoid.

Quote:
Or am I just overreacting a lot over some small unimportant things?
Simply put... YES. I'm not thrilled when I see pictures of my boyfriend hugging some other chick, but I also know it would be irrational of me to get upset by it. It doesn't mean he'll cheat. It doesn't mean he wants to sleep with her. Similarly, I've taken photos sitting on male friends' laps or hugging them. Doesn't mean I want to sleep with them. Not at ALL!
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