Girl naive about spending time w/another guy

[jscore]

So I've been seeing this girl a lot lately (2 months but intensely), been having great sex, etc. Things are going great.

One day she tells me some guy who is trying to help her job hunt asked her to "discuss her job hunting over dinner". At this point we've beeing each other for about two weeks and were both out of town. She could not possible made it there.

Obviously I realized the intent and explained to her, "ie, I think the guy is romantically interested in you..." She understood, and the matter was dropped.

The other day when she was lying in bed she mentioned that the guy is persisting and wants to go hiking during the day instead. I explained that again "he's definitely interested romantically" but in a very objective way. She then explained how some girl tried gather info about her (whether she's single, etc) before we met, and thus that's why the guy might be asking her to go out. I don't think she realized that this is a matchmaker type thing.

She was afraid to close doors to this guy because of the value he might bring to her (new jobs, etc), but wasn't sure she was romantically interested in him. So she asked me how to convey to him that she's not. I told her to say "can I bring my bf with me" or something like that.

I acted objectively because initially I was weary of them spending time together, but also cuz I kinda wanted to explain to her the male version.

Anyway, things are all good, but my concern is:
1) How can someone be so naive? or are all girls this naive? She's 25.
If she's so naive, then should I be concerned about bigger problems in the future?

2) Did I act correctly by giving her OBJECTIVE male interpretation?(something I'd give my younger sister).

Thanks

[Vapor]

She can just IOD. Mention a boyfriend. Tell him she's busy when she's not.

1) How can someone be so naive? or are all girls this naive? She's 25.
If she's so naive, then should I be concerned about bigger problems in the future?

It's possible that she's not, and she's running a jealousy plotline on you. But just because guys want to hang out with her doesn't mean she has to fuck them. I wouldn't worry about it unless you have other problems in your relationship.

It's surprising that she's this clueless though. Has she not dated much? Why not? Homeschooled? Restrictive culture? Amish? Even if she's unattractive she shouldn't be this oblivious to social cues. Asperger's syndrome?

2) Did I act correctly by giving her OBJECTIVE male interpretation?(something I'd give my younger sister).

That the dude was obviously romantically interested? Well, yeah. I wouldn't tell her to tell him that she wants to bring her BF, since then he may say "Sure!" and you have to go. Dropping the BF in casual conversation is a hint. If he doesn't get it, she can then be more direct.

[jscore]

yeah maybe I'm just over analying the situation. I just dont wanna be with a very naive girl. Its pretty rediculous.

I wasn't sure if I should mention anything didnt wanna seem jealous or anything (which I wasn't)

Thanks

[sampanye]

Originally Posted by jscore

1) How can someone be so naive? or are all girls this naive? She's 25.
If she's so naive, then should I be concerned about bigger problems in the future?

My guess is (assuming she genuinely is this naive and not just a brilliant actress, which seems unlikely given what you said) she hasn't dated a lot.

I had a close female friend who was really fun to be around, really friendly, and made plenty of (male) friends. It consistently got her into trouble because she always thought they were just friends, while the guys would be thinking something different, and the girls around her would wonder how she had the nerve to "lead on" all these different guys, or to become so close to someone's BF etc. She REALLY didn't understand how people could be interpreting the situations as they were. Granted, she was 17 - not 25.

I don't think naivety has to be a bad thing. She's less likely to play games with you, mainly because she doesn't know HOW to play games. But certainly a little understanding of social cues would help her out.

2) Did I act correctly by giving her OBJECTIVE male interpretation?(something I'd give my younger sister).

Yes, I think you reacted the right way. This guy probably senses that your girl is a little clueless about dating and thinks he can push her a little harder than other girls. For example, there's no way I'd accept a dinner invitation from someone who wasn't my BF. Experience has taught me that usually you have to be a bit direct and say, "I don't think my BF would be too impressed by that, so while I'm flattered, no thanks." Feeling awkward, brushing the invitation off as nothing... that just doesn't work. Even saying "no thanks" isn't clear enough for some guys (as a side note: I have zero respect for a guy who pursues a girl who is happily taken).

Your girl probably hasn't been very direct about her involvement with you because she doesn't realize she needs to. She needs to make him aware that she has a BF. Yes, he might be able to get her a job etc, but if he's only acting this way hoping she'll sleep with him, she's better off looking for a job elsewhere, anyway.

[jscore]

I completely agree with above. That's how it should be (ideally). I guess she's just inexperienced.

Thanks for clarification.