Its Over.. Do the right thing.. - The Attraction Forums

_Game_ · #1 (**permalink**) 07-18-2008, 10:38 PM

First of all, I have been around these forums for quite a while. Although I do not post too much I do look around.

Last night I learned a very important lesson. Well in relationships anyway. I let a girl control me for 9 months, to a point we were both miserable. I tried over n over to convince myself it would get better, but as the people warned here on the forums, it didn't. We ended the relationship a little while back but tried to remain friends. Thats when i could feel old habbits creeping in. Last night I made the decision to cut her out of my life completely. She was my first serious relationship and I lost all my firsts to her. It hit me that, Im young, I shouldn't be caught up in this relationship puzzle which only leads to heart ache and screw ups.

You might be asking yourself why on earth am I saying all this. But im here to hopefully help out another young guy. I see the posts HELP HELP WE ARE FIGHTING!! If that's how it is now, that's how it will stay. And if you are like me and are under the age of 21, you should not be dealing with it. This girl effected my family, schooling just whole life in a very negative way. And I have finally realised what all of you have been telling me for so damn long. It is not worth it. End it while you have the chance. I know it hurts, hell im hurting like anything now. But I know that I am free. And a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I know many of you think you are in "love". But like a song once explained... When love hurts.. It wont work... I found that out the hard way. If 1 person on this entire forum listens to this advice, and acts on it, and it helps. I know this will all be worth it. But I beg of you all. Dont try to push through it thinking it will get better. Face the truth. When its done, its done.

Thank you

Pringle · #2 (**permalink**) 07-18-2008, 11:31 PM

dood i totally did the same thing too.
i deleted her contact on my phone and ignored her emails, and now it's almost like i dont know her.

QwertyC2 · #3 (**permalink**) 07-19-2008, 01:18 AM

I understand where you are coming from. I dated a girl when I was younger (before 20) and cherished her alot and did the usual things that people in love would do. I really thought I was going great for us until I caught her hooking up with another guy and that really floored me. Years later, I look back and still wonder why did I waste my time moping over her after the relationship ended. I would try to call her everyday and apologize for non-existent mistakes I made, I was a complete AFC.

Like the original poster stated, the easiest thing you can do in this situation is to cut contact completely (e.g remove her msn contact, delete her number, remove her from Facebook, etc.) and move on with your life. It hurts but it's well worth it. Now I am a more confident person who appears for attractive to women since I have the ability to walk away from a failed situation.

Remember, my friends, SHORT TERM PAIN BEGETS LONG TERM GAINS.

My 2 cents.

_Game_ · #4 (**permalink**) 07-19-2008, 08:45 PM

That is true, we must be willing to hurt in the short term to gain in the long. A part of me still would love to have her back for the moments we shared. And the fact that she has already moved on hurts even more. But I know she is just on the rebound, and who knows she might even be trying to hurt me. But that's life. Accept where you stand, hold your ground and most importantly be a man. Anyone else got anything to contribute?

Recluse · #5 (**permalink**) 07-20-2008, 09:55 AM

I'm going through this right now and I must say it's quite difficult to turn your back on her.

I ignored her for a week until she came weeping into my arms telling me how much she misses me and loves me (after she broke up with me) and needless to say, I'm back to the cat and mouse game like the fool I am.

Gair333 · #6 (**permalink**) 07-20-2008, 11:23 AM

I went through my first love last year, id slept with about 14 girls but this one struck me wierdly. She wasnt hot, pretty or anything, she was very plain and abit chubby, im sure most of your first loves were the same

but to cut a long story short i was in the merchant navy, she said she was missing me and wanted me back, so left my career and everything for her needless to say a month later she broke up with me and i was left with nothing, no house, car, job and had to move back in with my parents.

its her fault i learned about the PUA's really, unlike most people i didnt read the game and decide i was a PUA but more of i searched google on how to get over her, after finding some e-books on becomeing an alpha male one path led to another and here i am

It will get better and here are some tips that pulled me through.

How to get over a girl 101:

Get rid of her out of your life, completely. This means go to places where you KNOW she will not be even if its rock clubs and you're a prep etc etc

Meet other girls but do not sleep with them unless it is no strings. PLEASE do not do what i did, when youre hurt you WILL hurt, mislead and treat girls like shit and theyll want you more, i think one girl is still spreading rumours about me =/ but on the other hand go for ONSs instead that way darkside will be minimised

talk to your friends, cry, blabber on for abit, complain and hate her for a while, the sooner you get angry the faster you can get over her.

Go out and do fun things which will occupy your thoughts, dont just go to a club and mope, go to a themepark and ride all the roller coasters. I promise she won't enter your head then

Time will heal most wounds but not all, you will still think about her 6 months down the line, hell even 6 years down the line but remeber the good parts and dont get caught in nostalgia.

and finally Its not your fault and your relationship contract is no more, you can do whatever you want now! CELEBRATE WOO!!

_Game_ · #7 (**permalink**) 07-21-2008, 03:19 AM

Recluse, it is easy to give in when they pull out the water works, but what I have found is it truly does not get better. We can sit and believe all we want, but the fact is things stay the same. Old habits remain, old pain returns. Its good you realize you are doing wrong, but it is time to act on it. Follow some of Gairs advice and make your move. You will be better for it man. Believe me.

Slick101 · #8 (**permalink**) 07-21-2008, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Game_

First of all, I have been around these forums for quite a while. Although I do not post too much I do look around.

Last night I learned a very important lesson. Well in relationships anyway. I let a girl control me for 9 months, to a point we were both miserable. I tried over n over to convince myself it would get better, but as the people warned here on the forums, it didn't. We ended the relationship a little while back but tried to remain friends. Thats when i could feel old habbits creeping in. Last night I made the decision to cut her out of my life completely. She was my first serious relationship and I lost all my firsts to her. It hit me that, Im young, I shouldn't be caught up in this relationship puzzle which only leads to heart ache and screw ups.

You might be asking yourself why on earth am I saying all this. But im here to hopefully help out another young guy. I see the posts HELP HELP WE ARE FIGHTING!! If that's how it is now, that's how it will stay. And if you are like me and are under the age of 21, you should not be dealing with it. This girl effected my family, schooling just whole life in a very negative way. And I have finally realised what all of you have been telling me for so damn long. It is not worth it. End it while you have the chance. I know it hurts, hell im hurting like anything now. But I know that I am free. And a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I know many of you think you are in "love". But like a song once explained... When love hurts.. It wont work... I found that out the hard way. If 1 person on this entire forum listens to this advice, and acts on it, and it helps. I know this will all be worth it. But I beg of you all. Dont try to push through it thinking it will get better. Face the truth. When its done, its done.

Thank you

This post opened up my eyes even more than I thought it would....
Im fvcking up big time noww....

It is time.... Im starting to feel heavy nowwww

!