She doesn't want to f--- yet... =/

cyse · #1 (**permalink**) 07-18-2008, 11:00 AM

So about two years ago, i met this girl on myspace. When i met her, she had a bf who she had been with since she was 17 (2-3 years). Anyways, it was her very first boyfriend(first love...first everything). Anyways, a few months back they broke up. So i sought out my opportunity to move in. However, before I was ready to meet her(post-break up), i had to fix some personal problems. This prevented us from being together as soon as she broke up with him. Anyways, we went exclusive about 2 weeks ago. We were making out and she starting reaching for my dick like there was no tomorrow. So, i figured "Im going to let her keep wanting it"...so i didn't let her touch me and told her something stupid like "jeeez i barely met you" (jokingly, of course). Anyways, were talking last night and she tells me she doesn't want to have sex with me, not yet. that she wants to take it slow. She told me that she would feel really slutty if she f'd me, that even when she slept with her first boyfriend she didn't want to. She also went on to say that "I wanted to wait till' i was married". Needless to say, i was pretty upset she was telling me this. I like her alot, and i really do want to be with her. But, this thing with the sex is really a big time turn-off. Usually, if this happened to me i would've said "Fuck this, were through". But i really like her so i said, "fine, i'll give you some time"...

What's your guy''s take on the situation?...
i really belive her when she tells me how much she likes me...
but at the same time, i feel like im getting dicked around....
Any advice you guys can give will be well appreciated....
thanks in advance, cyse

DeadEyeDick · #2 (**permalink**) 07-18-2008, 11:40 AM

In the future, when a chick does something you want, you reward that. By not letting her touch you, and then saying something off-putting, you discouraged her from being sexual.

In other words, you cock-blocked yourself.

So she backed way the fuck up. She's not dicking you around, by the way.

If she's a chill girl and you want to stay exclusive to see where things go, that's cool. Just proceed as normal and don't cockblock yourself again.

If you can't imagine being in an exclusive relationship with a chick you're not sleeping with, you might tell her how you feel and de-exclusive the thing so you can date other women who feel differently about sex than she does.

Don't be surprised, though, if she's not interested in continuing to date if you're going to pursue other women.

Good luck, and maybe others will have some different ideas.

cyse · #3 (**permalink**) 07-18-2008, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeadEyeDick

In the future, when a chick does something you want, you reward that. By not letting her touch you, and then saying something off-putting, you discouraged her from being sexual.

In other words, you cock-blocked yourself.

So she backed way the fuck up. She's not dicking you around, by the way.

If she's a chill girl and you want to stay exclusive to see where things go, that's cool. Just proceed as normal and don't cockblock yourself again.

If you can't imagine being in an exclusive relationship with a chick you're not sleeping with, you might tell her how you feel and de-exclusive the thing so you can date other women who feel differently about sex than she does.

Don't be surprised, though, if she's not interested in continuing to date if you're going to pursue other women.

Good luck, and maybe others will have some different ideas.

thanx, i think im gonna try to Kino escelate like a mofo! i think that if i get her turned on enough, she'll at least give me a BJ. she came pretty close to it the other day. so im sure i can get a BJ. I think what affects me the most though is that she just doesn't wana have sex with me....i guess its kind of a blow to my ego

DeadEyeDick · #4 (**permalink**) 07-18-2008, 02:52 PM

Don't be so goal focused -- her chick radar will pick up on that. Unless you just learned that you have 24 hours to live, chill out and have fun!

I never recommend my own threads, but if you read the one linked in my sig about Adopting a Philosophy of Abundance, you will be less goal-focused and enjoy things more.

FemmeFatale · #5 (**permalink**) 07-19-2008, 04:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeadEyeDick

In the future, when a chick does something you want, you reward that. By not letting her touch you, and then saying something off-putting, you discouraged her from being sexual.
.

I agree, you blew it by telling her off for touching your dick.
She probably stopped, thought about it and then realized..hmm if i sleep with him too soon, hes gonna think i'm a slut.. especially after what he said back there..You should have kept quiet.