My favorite shit test

Power of Simplicity · #1 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 06:11 AM

This one happened a long time ago, when me and a wing were playing pool and he off-handedly invites the two waitresses working there to come play pool with us. (was one of those half-restaurant, half-bar places).

The fat one of the two looks down at his shirt, up at him, and says, "Nice shirt. Does your mom know you're wearing it?"

He, of course, is stunned that a, like, 4 has just shitted with him. They eventually come and play with us (bitch stole my cowboy hat, too!), but they give me a weird look when I burst out laughing after my wing tells me what happened.

No #-close, obviously heh.

Now, the odds of me ever hearing that shit-test/bitchy statement again are slim to none, but it's been a year since that happened, and I still cannot think of a good answer to that. It haunts me!

So I ask you to put my mind to rest: What's the end-all best response to this?

Tempus X · #2 (**permalink**) 07-31-2008, 11:32 AM

(kiddy voice, high energy) "My mommy wanted me to wear the pink one, but boy did I show her when I got dressed all by myself!"

(serious voice and facial expression) "No. And you better not tell her." :

ause^3:: ::sly grin::

(serious voice and facial expression) "My mother's dead..."

Hmm, maybe the last one will make it a bit awkward if you don't release it... but I'm good with awkward situations

EDIT: Ima smack you if you didn't make sure to release the tension eventually after the third one.

Seuldieu · #3 (**permalink**) 08-02-2008, 04:22 AM

I'd respond with something like,

"Of course she knows,"
said with a "duh" type tone...

*slight pause*

"she wanted to wear it out tonight too -- but I locked her in the bathroom."
...all with a very nonchalant tone, and straight face.

I always agree with and amplify most shit tests.

Prosp3ct · #4 (**permalink**) 08-02-2008, 08:01 AM

Say: Why are you talking about my mother?...Do you want to get married allready?...shit I need some comfort first, you know.

EdSam · #5 (**permalink**) 08-03-2008, 10:24 PM

Maybe just laugh and say something like: Awwww, you're adorable! (with the tone that you think it's cute that she's testing you)

jonnybegood · #6 (**permalink**) 08-11-2008, 04:23 AM

"My mum's dead..."

Works. Every. Time.

Kia · #7 (**permalink**) 08-11-2008, 05:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Power of Simplicity

The fat one of the two looks down at his shirt, up at him, and says, "Nice shirt. Does your mom know you're wearing it?"

You: No, but your mom does.

or the more direct - yeah, my mom buys all of my clothes.

--those were jokes.

This is a case of a girl negging a guy, which means she's in an outgoing, flirty mood and probably the aggressor in relationships. I mean this girl doesn't even have a bitch-shield up. Fat girls--They know they can't have a bitch-shield up or they won't get to talk to any guys, so a lot of times they have to be outgoing/show personality, etc. Believe it or not, it looks like this girl was gaming you.

The best thing overall would be to ignore this because this is the type of response she's used to and it shows you could give a shit less (dhv). Then, later on (if you wanna get with the girl), run the usual game. Normal girls like a challenge.