Congruence in Qualification

[Dropit]

I love the concept of congruence. It's changed my life for the better. (Not DRAMATICALLY better, but definitely better).

From Sinn's landmark post on qualification:

Originally Posted by Sinn

Qualification is [attraction's] mirror opposite, where we will entice [the target] to demonstrate value so that we can reward her with indicators of interest.

And later:

Originally Posted by Sinn

However if you can convince a woman that you like her for reasons other than her looks and sexuality, she will be motivated to see you again.

Congruence demands that if we're trying to convince her of it, it must be true. Therefore, you have to actually like her for reasons other than looks and sexuality.

This is a hard part; what if, just seeing her on the street, you do indeed like her just for looks and sexuality? In other words, what if you don't actually have any standards for you to get excited about her meeting them?

This is the common curse of males everywhere. The first thing we notice is the number after HB_. That is the easiest standard to measure, and if we're not careful, we don't have any actual standards besides "HB7 or higher."

If you find yourself in this position, ask yourself: If she were literally a human vegetable, would I still like her? If she didn't speak English? If she were mentally retarded? Tortured puppies? Couldn't carry a tune? Listened to polka on a regular basis?

Keep asking yourself these negative "What-if" questions. Answer honestly. Some things you'll care about. Some you won't. Sooner or later, you will have actual honest-to-goodness standards.

This makes qualification easy and natural. No longer are you projecting the image of screening her, you are actually doing it.

I haven't invented anything new. Sinn said this (in a nutshell) when he said

Originally Posted by Sinn

Ideally you will develop actual standards and find things that you actually like in the particular girl.

I'm merely stressing how important and vital that "ideal" is. If you don't actually like her...why are you talking to her?

One answer (and a valid one) might be: "She's hot. I'm just looking for a ONS." In that case, you still have standards: 1. Hot. 2. Willing to have sex with you tonight. Your congruence will be at its peak if you're honest about what you're looking for.

In conclusion: Many more women are attracted to you every day than you think.* You can afford to have standards. And standards will not only help you brush off the ones that don't make the cut, but they will also bring in the ones that do.


*If you have trouble believing this, think about how easy it is for girls to attract YOU: they have to 1) be hot, and 2) walk by.

[EnlightenedSuave]

I personally have really high standards. If a girl doesn't meet them at ANY point in our interaction, I will drop her with a quickness. There are so many other girls out there that if one doesn't "ack rite", there's always another hot one who will.

If you have high standards, girls will work to live up to them. Their validation depends on it.

"Magic Bullets" addresses qualification really well. I suggest you read that. It talks about how to lightly qualify women so you can sleep with them (if your standards are simply based on looks)

This is the definitive work on pickup and dating theory, written by an acknowledged master of the game - a guy who’s TRAINED many of the new “gurus” on the scene!