Solid gold kiss/hug qualifier

Wick Burnem · #1 (**permalink**) 07-17-2008, 11:45 AM

Fellas, I was out at the bars a few weekends ago and I invented a great new qualifier.
I was with my friends and we kept seeing this group of girls all wearing black cocktail dresses and looking too-cool-to-talk-to-anyone. They were all 7s or better, the hottest being a tall blonde with huge boobs, so naturally she became my target.
I opened the set by negging them for wearing matching outfits and not calling each other ahead of time to avoid such a faux pas. With a little more banter I won over the whole group and introduced my friends.
During the conversation I kept negging the tall blonde and interrupting her whenever she tried to say something snobbish.
Finally she came around and was showing IOIs. That's when I came up with this awesome qualifier:

Wick (to group): I have a theory... I believe that girls can be only one of two things... They can either be good kissers and bad huggers, or bad kissers and good huggers.
Girls: blah blah, that doesn't make sense, girls can be good at both, blah blah
Wick: Okay then, let's put it to the test. Tall girl, I want you to give me your best hug. I'm really serious. Take a minute and think about how you want to do this. There's a lot riding on this one hug. (Then I held open my arms and made her come to me while everyone watched).
(I'll admit her boobs made for one of the best hugs I've ever had, and normally I could care less how good a girl hugs, I only care how she kisses and how she fucks.)
Wick: Oh that was terrible! That was one of the worst hugs ever! But I have a feeling that you hugged me bad on purpose just so I'd think you're a good kisser!

She was totally blushing at this point and didn't know what to say. She was grinning and obviously felt really attracted. I number closed her and told her she could kiss me if she wanted to. I got the number and a kiss on the lips.

Ice Pill · #2 (**permalink**) 07-17-2008, 06:15 PM

Thats gold.

Gratz mate.

HumorUS · #3 (**permalink**) 07-17-2008, 06:45 PM

Im gonna try this one. Good stuff bro./

chill84 · #4 (**permalink**) 07-17-2008, 07:15 PM

This is amazing, I'm running this one tonight. Thanks for sharing

Random_p3rson · #5 (**permalink**) 07-17-2008, 10:43 PM

hey this sounds awesome, but wouldn't it be a problem if one of them decided to say "how do you check if shes a good kisser or not" seeing that you are only asking for hug to test the "theory", or is that just not expected to happen?

Wick Burnem · #6 (**permalink**) 07-18-2008, 08:11 AM

Random p3rson - when I delivered the qualifier I had the strongest frame in the group and when I opened up my arms everyone knew she was going to hug me. It's kind of a hoop for her to jump through, and a public hug is much easier for her to jump through than a public kiss.
If she wanted to kiss me first I probably would have given a C&F false takeaway line like, "Whoa, trouble-maker, let's take this one step at a time. You can hug me now and then maybe we'll see about a kiss later."
If one of the girls was adamant about knowing how she kisses, I would ask to two girls to kiss and tell me how it went ;0

Conspiracy430 · #7 (**permalink**) 07-22-2008, 11:33 AM

Sheer and utter genius. It's funny, i was just doing a search for kiss test help and stumbled on this gem. I've been talking to a girl I haven't seen in a long time since she went to school and got a serious bf, but now she's back home for good and i THINK just ended her relationship..she hasn't come right out and said anything yet, but with all the negging, qualifying, and most importantly, a super strong frame, i'm in a situation where I should kiss her. I though of the Mystery kiss test "Do you want to kiss me?" yes/maybe-kiss her, and no-"well i didn't say you could, you just had a look about you"

the only problem with that, is our friendship is deeper than 4 hrs old and i need to qualify her attraction. This should be perfect since i negged her "ass out akward" hugs. We'll see tonight! Thanks man!

Wick Burnem · #8 (**permalink**) 07-29-2008, 10:39 PM

I met up with the tall blonde for a cup of tea. She wasn't very talkative without her entourage so the date wasn't everything I hoped it would be. I ended it early and as I walked her back to her car she apologized for being so quiet. She said she just had a lot on her mind and that she's more fun when she's in a big group.

I figured I would go out for the weekend with my buds, see if I meet anyone interesting and get back to her.

I was at my favorite bar, just to play wingman, and it was crowded and hot so I stepped toward the balcony to get some air. I noticed an HB8 cougar with a low energy friend. I opened them with high energy and got some banter going by telling them I was a male stripper enjoying a night off. The cougar was reading into my game and giving IOIs, but her friend didn't get my joke opener and was confused.

I kept the conversation fun and gave equal attention to each girl. The low energy girl was starting to look and feel more upbeat and that made me feel good. After a few minutes I told them I had to bounce to another bar and told them they should come too. The cougar was interested, but her less adventurous friend wasn't ready to leave.

I told them it was no big deal and wished them each a good night. On my way out I hugged the ok girl and then the cougar. As she was hugging me I couldn't help saying, "Wow, you're a very good hugger... too bad." Then I explained my theory. As soon as I disqualified her she locked her eyes on mine. I guess she was waiting to see if I was joking, but I said it in a factual tone like something I learned in a biology book, and she took it as truth. She stood frozen for a second and then reached into her purse, handed me her business card and told me to call her sometime.

I don't know if she actually thought I was a stripper, but the kiss/hug disqualifier certainly worked again! =)

CCarter · #9 (**permalink**) 07-29-2008, 11:17 PM

can also make for good call-back humor

good stuff

Conspiracy430 · #10 (**permalink**) 07-30-2008, 09:54 AM

Reporting back:

I'm hanging out with my friend again, and we come back to my place to watch the baseball game with my roomate. No big deal, typical friendly bullshit, but I could tell she was getting comfortable with me again, enjoying my company. After the game, my roomate went to bed, so it was game on. As I said before, I was unclear about the boyfriend, but decided to not let it phase me, but after looking through photos, we found a picture of my brother (who i've always thought looks very much like her bf) So I busted on her for dating a guy that looks like my brother, blah blah, she turned around and said point blank: I don't have a boyfriend. Wow. Major IOI. So then we move to my room, she picks up my guitar, trys to play and I play a little for her..no big deal...so I explain my theory about hugs/kisses. She trys to blow it out of the water. I was like, well it probably is only girls that can only do one thing right at a time. So she's fumbling over herself trying to qualify herself to me!! Amazing. She wants to stay longer, but I've been pushing her out the door for the last 2 hours bc we both have work in the morning, so finally I walk her to her car.

"So here is where you give me an amazing hug, which proves you're a bad kisser. And no fair faking a bad hug." Not only does she give me a hug, but she jumps on me, legs around my waist. "Wow, that was a good hug." Now she has to prove herself with a kiss that I didn't even have to initiate!

It doesn't end there. ALWAYS GAME HARD!! "Wow, that was about a 4. You should let me initiate these things." So I looked deep into her eyes, lightly brushed the hair out of her face, and well, you can figure out the rest. But seriously. Qualifying is a HUGE part of attraction. And something this simple, when used at the right level of comfort is a major breaking point.

Major kudos man!

Conspiracy.