I am turning into a social robot because I dont/cant qualify

[Buffalo]

Qualification.

I am not doing it enough, or correctly.

To preface, I have managed, over the last 3 months, to get really good at opening, transitioning, multiple-threading, attracting and isolating. However, I seem to get suck in this attraction phase. I have well over 10 routines that I can use to pump attraction, but I feel the need to use all 10+ of them when in set. So by the time I'm getting her phone number, its been somewhere in the 10-20 minute into the interaction, and all I have is attraction, regardless of how strong.

My main sticking point, which has HURT my game so much lately, has been qualifying. For some reason, I feel I need run 30 routines in attraction before number closing, but one of the mods somewhere said that the game is played in comfort. So really...I'm just barely at the tip of the iceberg.

This is a HUGE source of frustration to me as of now...

Things for me to work on:
1. Qualify as soon as I cold read her. I swear...when I've gotten so good at cold reading, getting the girl to instantly say shit like, "OMG that is totally me!" and then not going anywhere with that. Fuckin' idiot. Qualify at that point. Qualify, qualify, qualify.

2. All of my routines, dhv stories, and cold reads have worked over and over again. I swear, if you were to watch me, you would think I've been doing this for years...until I get to qualification. Then I look like a fish out of the water.

I believe that my failure to qualify is turning me into a social robot, because I have all these routines and I have an order that I run them in. So if stuff comes up in the middle that is qualification worthy, I often overlook those points because I am so focused on the routines themselves. And unfortunately, I have only realized this today. I am turning into a social robot because I am doing step A, getting to the hook, then progressing to step B, then step C, then step D.

I think that the qualification phase is a lot more fluid than the attraction phase mainly because of the talking ratios. Early in qualification, I find myself talking 80%-100%. Qualification should be about 50%. This makes for a much more fluid conversation style that I am not as used to. And rather than embracing this new challenge, I am simply falling into the easy pattern of staying in my comfort zone of attraction.

My failure to qualify then soi is why so many of my number closes flake. My failure to time bridge a day 2 is why so many of my number closes flake. My failure to challenge myself with a more fluid style of conversation achieved after attraction is why so many of my number closes flake. My failure to push myself, then tell myself ‘the girls are weird,’ or ‘I am doing everything right’ is why so many of my numbers flake.

My goal that I have to reach by July 1st:
1. Very simple. Step out of being a retard social robot, and be more fluid. Get 5 qualification routines and practice them, then qualify and have a REAL conversation with the girl after attraction is built. Stop being a fuckin dancing monkey. From now on, if I cannot isolate within 4-5 routines after opening I will leave the set to reopen later. I have too much shit to work through, and I cannot keep spending fuckin 30-45 minutes in a set stuck in attraction. Qualify then SOI. Stop making fuckin excuses.

[skystream92]

If you see the opportunity to qualify, then do it. However, it sounds like you're running too much attraction material. This turns you into a "dancing monkey"

[_8_]

The good thing is, you've identified your problem. Most guys that get stuck in the attraction phase don't understand what they're doing wrong.

And though it's not a hard and fast rule, I generally just look for 3 IOI's, then I transition into qualification.

And here's a tip: Use playful KINO games between phases. IE:

Attraction

Transition out with: playful Hand Kino(palm reads, thumb wrestling, slap games, etc),

Qualification

Transition out with: playful body Kino (hug and push, cavemanning, play fighting, play wrestling, etc..),

Comfort

Transition out with: playful face kino (pinch her cheeks saying she looks like a chipmunk, brush hair away from her face, "beep!" her nose and make fun of her for having a noise-making nose, etc..)

I find a steady escalation of playful Kino to be conductive to good gaming.. as well, it helps with transitions by giving me clear "phase shifting" points.

[Buffalo]

Originally Posted by _8_

The good thing is, you've identified your problem. Most guys that get stuck in the attraction phase don't understand what they're doing wrong.

And though it's not a hard and fast rule, I generally just look for 3 IOI's, then I transition into qualification.

And here's a tip: Use playful KINO games between phases.

Your advice is well noted.

On another note. I was looking through qualification posts, and I found that I have been doing that...which is what causes the hbs to reveal to me their little caveats of information. So in essense, I have been qualifying. I just haven't been qualifying enough, or giving the girl enough of an SOI.

I guess I will work on that in the coming weeks, and if that STILL doesn't work, then I'm all out of ideas...

[silverghost]

If you use 10 attraction routines on each girl you are doing something wrong. I always say teach me something/ your turn/ tell me a joke/ give me a kiss/ make me a compliment so the routine seems like she earned it. As for qualification, without it there is no real attraction tbh. Especially since your first call she ll only remember a dude that was cool but didnt know anything about him. Run a qualifier (tell me 3 things about you etc) combined with a beauty destroyer and you are in. If she qualifies to you you are in.
No girl will qualify to someone that she doesnt care. On the other hand dont fall for their qualifiers.

[_8_]

Originally Posted by silverghost

If you use 10 attraction routines on each girl you are doing something wrong. I always say teach me something/ your turn/ tell me a joke/ give me a kiss/ make me a compliment so the routine seems like she earned it. As for qualification, without it there is no real attraction tbh. Especially since your first call she ll only remember a dude that was cool but didnt know anything about him. Run a qualifier (tell me 3 things about you etc) combined with a beauty destroyer and you are in. If she qualifies to you you are in.
No girl will qualify to someone that she doesnt care. On the other hand dont fall for their qualifiers.

Wisdom!

[Buffalo]

Originally Posted by silverghost

If you use 10 attraction routines on each girl you are doing something wrong. I always say teach me something/ your turn/ tell me a joke/ give me a kiss/ make me a compliment so the routine seems like she earned it. As for qualification, without it there is no real attraction tbh. Especially since your first call she ll only remember a dude that was cool but didnt know anything about him. Run a qualifier (tell me 3 things about you etc) combined with a beauty destroyer and you are in. If she qualifies to you you are in.
No girl will qualify to someone that she doesnt care. On the other hand dont fall for their qualifiers.

but what is a beauty destroyer? I never even heard the term, and the search button didn't turn up much of anything.

is a beauty destroyer the release? like, "wow. that is really awesome, but ur still a dork."

or are you talking about something completely different? please explain.

[mindquicken]

you need both qualification and a good level of comfort, that means you should try to get her to do more talking too.

[Filipino Heat]

I think by beauty destroyer he meant saying something that shows you're not affected by her looks. like the 'tell me 3 things'

IE. " It's obvious that you're a pretty girl, but look around us...beauty is very common these days, you either have it or you can buy it, no big deal. Tell me 3 things about yourself that doesn't have to do with your looks." (credit Style)

[jacq69]

Originally Posted by Buffalo

Your advice is well noted.

On another note. I was looking through qualification posts, and I found that I have been doing that...which is what causes the hbs to reveal to me their little caveats of information. So in essense, I have been qualifying. I just haven't been qualifying enough, or giving the girl enough of an SOI.

I guess I will work on that in the coming weeks, and if that STILL doesn't work, then I'm all out of ideas...

Have you watched Juggler's video on youtube? It's called Seduction School and he teaches SOI theory. It might help you, it certainly helped me. I also think kino escalation is key to qualifying. The idea is now she's attracted to you (A2) and you need to make her want you to want her. Push-pull and cocky funny are ways to work this. When she IOI's, increase the kino or IOI in some other way like by giving her an SOI ("I like your glasses they make you look sexy," or if she's giving you lots of IOI's you can be more forward and use Mystery's classic "beauty is common" routine. This is a tough part because I'm not aware of too many routines here and it's a freestyle push-pull that you have to become comfortable with. You just have to work on cutting through A1 and A2, then working on A3. With time if you spend enough time there you'll be good at it, just like with A1 and A2.

By the way in case you don't remember, the "beauty is common" routine goes like this: "Why am I drawn to you?" (let her start to answer and cut her off) "Let me speak...I'm not talking about beauty here, you're a very beautiful girl but beauty is common...You know what's very rare? Three things...A good energy, a great personality, and a great outlook. If you've got 2 out of 3 it's a good start."

Of course there are variations of this, but this is the classic Mystery qualifier. If she gives you a decent answer, then kino escalate. Sometimes you'll have to deal with a shit-test here, I had this exact thing happen to me last weekend. A girl replied "Why are you drawn to me? I can't believe you're even talking to me." This you'll have to feel out and decide if it's a legitimate shit-test or if she's just got really low self esteem and you've somehow over-qualified yourself (which is what happened to me). If it's the latter then you can take that as an IOI and compliment her. I complimented her, then she hugged me and I hugged her back. IOI for IOI.

Hope this helps a little.