questioning the high-value effect of qualification..

[BossOne]

okay , I understand that once attraction is created shes interested.

I agree that have a screening frame with her again is a high-value thing.


however, by asking her questions , doesn't that lower your value especially the questions like where are you from, what do you do ? I mean, if shes interested shouldn't she be asking us questions. .. especially the BHRR...the line between qualification/comfort is so blurred, the only difference is the so called 'release phase'...if you come off as trying to BUILD COMFORT too soon, that will lower your value and according to mysterys book, the structure of the game , your putting the comfort before the qualificaiton/attraction phase...

I can understand the purpose of these questions in comfort ..where were probably asking more personal questions, but not in the qualification phase.

However, I understand that this is how its always done, and I don't question experience and the status quo...but just curious.

[truth]

This is one of the sticky posts in the section: Qualification:

Date Posted: 2002/05/29 03:42:00 PM EDT
Author: juggler <unknown email address>
Subject: Questions vs. Statements

This is in part a response to the 'best way to relate to women thread'

A QUESTION WEAKENS:

A question is a request for information. It is asking for something from
someone else. In a sense this puts you in the weaker position.

Not that seduction is all about control of another person but to be successful
you must lead. And the state you want to lead the seduction into is to have
both you and your target giving of your thoughts, feelings, ideas and humor
freely. Experiencing a REAL connection.

Questioning can be counter productive in achieving this state. Questions can
put someone on guard. Questions say little about you. Questioning, wether EV or
not is, most of the time, weak.

HOWEVER QUESTIONS CAN BE USED WISELY TO SET A RAPPORT DEPTH:

Sometimes questions can be strong. Those times are when it is bold to ask. I
have talked about how important it is to limit questions about a girl's factual
details: where she lives, works, how old she is, etc... These kind of questions
only remind her that you are a stranger trying to get to know her.

Well, the flip side is also true: In general it is a good idea to ask her a
direct question you would ask someone you have known for many years: "How is
your family?", "What did you do for Memorial day?", "On a scale of 1-10 how
good of a kisser are you?"

You can probably see that a deep EV type question CAN fit into this category.
"How do you feel when you see someone who you are instantly attracted to?"

Just keep in mind the purpose is not what most people in this group probably
think it is. It is not to dig into your target's head, get good info and feed
back, etc.. Instead, the purpose is to create a feeling of familiarity and
comfort. And her answer, although possibly useful, is not really important to
creating this feeling.

Also do not overdo it. Once you have this feeling, more of these types of
questions will actually degrade rapport.

QUESTIONING IS LIKE SPENDING MONEY:

You can use your purchasing power but everytime you spend cash you weaken your
future spending power. It is not that you should never spend money. It is just
that you should do so carefully. Same with asking questions no matter how
sincere.

LEAD BY MAKING STATEMENTS:

A statement takes a position. It is strong. It says, "This is who I am." Making
more statements will make a seducer more alpha in both appearance and in
reality.

A statement takes a risk. You are demonstrating who you are before you know if
she will even accept this about you. It is bold. Saying "I prefer dogs." is
taking a risk. She could be a cat person for god's sake. Saying, "I am
interested in a one night stand." is taking a risk. Saying, "I like to give
women intense physical pleasure." is taking a risk.

So when you make declarative sentences you are demonstrating your courage and
strength of character. Contrast this to the inquisitor who sits back all safe
and asks questions. The inquisitor may get the girl to open up. he may get her
to answer his questions and gain a deep rapport. But he has demonstrated little
value in her eyes.
He then may try to close and get rebuffed or find himself in the LJBF category.
He may then post on this group something like, 'I got great rapport, EV deep
feelings but didn't get the lay. What did I do wrong?' Then others may advice
him that he failed to anchor this state or didn't EV the right path or some
other technical stuff. Our inquisitor will then go into the next seduction
convinced he needs to learn and implement the 'technology' better, etc.. All
the while never realizing that he failed to lead by making more statements.

YOU DO CARE ABOUT HER VALUES:

Sharing your values and making more statements does not mean that you do not
care about her values. It is just that you recognize in general that to get to
her real values you must take the lead and share yours first. You must be an
example.

Keep in mind VALUES DO NOT HAVE TO MATCH. It is not the value of the values
that is important. It is the feeling of being able to express those values
which is important.

HOW STRONG ARE HER VALUES ANYWAY:

Sorry to say but many people (both girls and guys) are flighty. You ask them
what the most important things are to them and you get one answer one day and
another the next. Most people are not that strong. If you build a seduction on
their values you are building on sand.

MAKE YOUR VALUES POWERFUL:

Instead of getting good at EVing. Your time will be much better spent on
finding your values and packaging them to sell. If you are into one night
stands then get good at explaining why these are good. If you want an open
relationship, get good at selling that idea. If you have a bi-sexual
girlfriend, get good at selling the idea of a hot threesome to other women.
Whatever it is you want, whatever your values are, become powerful at talking
about them. Become convincing, not in an argumentative way but in a seductive
way. Your values WILL change the values of your targets.

-Juggler

Here is another nugget from someone else:

Commitment and Consistency is the heart and soul of Qualification. Period.

Example is this:
PUA: "So what do you have going for you other than a pretty smile?"
HB: Blah Blah Blah....

The more Blah Blah Blah, the more Commitment and Consistency. That's it.

So how do you get more blah blah blah?

Promt her by saying something first youself.

"A friend of mine and I were out at Xbar and we met a girl wearing a really cool Bon Jovi shirt but she wasn't really that interested in Bon Jovi. I was like WTF? So what's your favorite band?"

At that point, it sounds like regular natural conversation.

Its not some weird, out of left field question that puts her on the defensive.

A really good resource for this is actually one of my favorites, AFC Adam London.

He has a YouTube on Qualification where he talks about making a statement before the big open ended questions.

So to sum up Juggler just states his values, the guy above relates a life experience and asks her her values (here's an example of something I will use along the design of his structure: every bartender I've ever dated that I was really into had a passion they were pursuing.... you must have one. So what are you pursuing while you work here?)

I used to just state my values, or state my values and then ask them theirs, but I am going to try relating a life experience that leads me to ask them their values, as well as just stating my own values. Magic Bullets has more on this whole thing as well.

This is the definitive work on pickup and dating theory, written by an acknowledged master of the game - a guy who’s TRAINED many of the new “gurus” on the scene!