girl creating hoops...

[Scarlet]

So recently I was in a situation with a girl and we ended up on the topic of past relationships for some reason. I didn't really want to stay in that area of the conversation, but I was enjoying the conversation so I indulged.

I told her briefly (no details) about a past relationship and how it taught me to stay away from those types of girls... before even telling her what type of girl I was talking about she responds: "girls like me".

What is she trying to convey when she says this? Was it an IOD or a hidden IOI or something else?

I'm imagining other times when things like this may come into play. This is purely hypothetical, but like when a girl might say "Oh I'm not pretty" when she IS pretty. It's almost like she is creating a hoop for me to jump through to purposefully and willfully compliment her. Would that be the right thing to do, is she trying to qualify to me..?

What are some things to respond to these types of interactions?

Thanks kindly.

[sjoasja]

For her to say that.. it must mean you haven't give her a IoI yet..
So she jumps to the conclusion that she is the type of girl you don't want.
Therefore give her a IoI of some sort.

or

It's a hoop indeed... Because if she said : " girls like me"
And you would say : "no .."
Then you just gave her a IoI , by saying the girl like her you want to hang out with

Either way , give her a IoI (bait hook reel release)

Sorry if something is unclear.. take my reply with a grain of salt coz im not experienced.


Sjoasja

[sdnightfly]

At 20, a "past relationship" is something that is rarely a real relationship, you'll see what I mean in the next few years. Pictures of ex-girlfriends are kept with my mom or in a rarely used email account. Stories of ex-girlfriends and the ex-wife I never speak negatively about until I know them well enough and am in a relationship with for a long (+ 6 months time) to tell them. I never say anything about the "type" of women I go for. Always better to keep things vague for a while.

I keep my ears open and see if they're the type to talk behind others back or indulge really personal info to casual friends...best friends it's expected, but you will run into women who will bring up really embarrassing stuff to strangers.

[Sapien]

Put this into perspective; what would this mean if you said this sort of thing to her? She is disqualifying herself to test you. I know from experience that women do this often to fish for compliments. However, this is dangerous ground. You may think it harmless to simply give them what they are obviously asking for, but what you are really doing by jumping through that hoop is becoming their toy poodle on a leash. Acknowledge the hoop and refuse to jump through it (DHV).
Responses I use for these tests;
Don't go there.
I don't play that game.
I ain't biting.
Or if you think she needs a little punishment for thinking you were her pet poodle-boy, give her a neg by agreeing with her sarcastically; "I'm glad you said that because I didn't want to be the one to bring it up,"... big sarcastic C/F grin (this can be dangerous if she is actually in a vulnerable position though).

If, as Sjoasja suggests, you really haven't given enough IOIs, then give her one- but don't give it right away, and don't give the one she is fishing for, or it will be a sign of weakness.

[sandman808]

HB: Girls just like me
PUA: ya, too bad .. it would never work out between us

---
HB9+: omg I'm so ugly
PUA: you're telling me, I almost brought a paper bag for you to wear *smile*