Should she realize you're qualifying her?

[Ridley]

IOW:

If you say something like "so what have you got going for you apart from your looks" you are explicitly setting the frame that you are trying to find out whether she is worth pursuing.

If you find out what his unique about her and compliment her on it, she feels that you're getting to know each other and making a connection - and if she was asked later, she could give reasons why you are into her. Still, she never thinks "this guy is trying to suss out whether I come up to his high standards", she just assumes the conversation went that way naturally. Also the line between qualification and comfort is getting blurred because you are building rapport in qualification.

So... is it important that she knows that you're qualifying her or is it enough that she ends up feeling qualified, somewhere in the back of her brain?

Value your opinions guys, sometimes I think I'm going for rapport too early and this is an example.

R

[Armac]

Qualifying is not the "her giving you an answer". It is in the response you give to her answer.

If you seem genuinely interested in something about her aside from her looks she should think to herself. "OMG this guy totally gets me"

The real hook in all of attraction is you are different from other guys.

A1 - You are different because you began a convo with her confidently and do not look needy.

A2 - Since you are showing value you are naturally different then the boring "Where are you from" guys

A3 - You are different because you are finding commonalities with her aside from her looks

[miaddict]

Originally Posted by Ridley

So... is it important that she knows that you're qualifying her

Yes.

[Gondole]

Read Sinns Classic writing on qualification. To say that What do you have going for you besides your look is a huge hoop to jump through. I'd narrow it down to what nationality are you, what do you want to be when you grow up, etc. She should know that you are qualifying and are complimenting her on some things besides sex which is the key to qualification. It needs to come off as sincere though and not just complimenting 3 things then trying to number close.