Some quick advice on an online number close...

[Curt]

So, I've been talking to this really cute girl on okcupid for about a week now. She's been quite playful.

She sent me this (after a few messages):
=====she wrote=====
Haha, I had mixed success in D.C. I went to the zoo and all the animals were asleep. (Although, I did witness a bear climbing about six feet up a tree, which was kind of cool.) I spent most of the afternoon in the Hirschhorn, which was fantastic. Modern art usually seems to be a mix of some really cool stuff and some total bullshit, and it's fun to see both. How was your weekend?

I have no idea what I want to do after graduation. I sometimes toy with the idea of moving back to England...although that's about as far as that plan goes. I'd probably be just as much of a confused mess in another country as I am now, haha.
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I was finally getting tired of chatting back and forth (probably the 6th message) and I was pretty sure I was in comfort by now so I sent her this, trying to get her number:


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Hey! I still don't know how to pronounce your name! I guess you really are a confused mess!

My weekend was wonderful! Got together with a bunch of friends up in Woodbridge that I hadn't seen in a while for some drinks -- good times. Oh, and I bought a kick ass lamp for my living room.

Amen to that modern art statement, I've got a high appreciation for anything that's creative but I agree, some of it just looks like a pile of crap. Every once in a while though, there will be a piece that I'll just step back and go "wow, that's pretty cool" then never think about it again, hahaha. I do that with desktop wallpapers too.

Hey, I'm not a huge fan of the whole back-and-forth online thing (albeit fun) and you seem like a fun girl. Do you have AIM or some other form of communication (preferably one with a texting plan, haha)?
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And all she sent back was this:
=====she wrote=====
Whoops! I forgot about that sneaky little P.S. And actually, both of those pronunciations work fine. As long as you put the stress on the second syllable, you can't go too wrong!

I do have aim, but (disclaimer) I'm rarely on these days. It's SCREENNAME.
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Any suggestions? Maybe she didn't understand what I meant? Thanks for the help.

[minuterice]

Just straight up be like 'Listen i'm enjoying talking to you, what's your number' or like "lets text" or some way that doesnt put too much pressure on her for the number. I used to be afraid to up and ask for the number bc I kept thinking she'd put me in the same categorie as all the other afcs on the site but i mean think about it: 1. if she's gonna give you the number she's gonna give it to you.period. no matter HOW much pussy footing you do around..2. If you think about it..the same message you just got her IM in would've been just as long to get her number..except instead of a number its an IM..and 3. Trial and Error. just ask for it how ever you think it will work and if it doesn't work then you just try something diff next time to see wat DOES WORK..I guess im talking about the number so much bc now the convo is kinda at a stand still..the chick said she doesnt really go on AIM so you'll either have to write a qualifying interesting message to 'obtain her interest' or wait for her to get on AIM.. or just drop it..

[Curt]

Excellent, thanks for the advice. Always helps to have another set of eyes look at the situation. I've got this ready as a response:
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I'm going to be frank with you because well, I don't like to beat around the bush (and if you're like me, you don't either). I was really looking more for your phone number. I tried tippy-toeing around that question and it didn't work. I'd figure we'd both be adults and speak to each other like real people instead of some long lost online pen pals.

So, what's your number? If you're lucky, you might even get to be my at-work texting buddy.
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I haven't sent it yet, so any comments/advice would be great.

[minuterice]

with my experience I feel like that's just gonna make her feel a lil pressured and may'be like it's not worth it. I think this might happen because the all the rest of the time you weren't serious then when it comes to asking for her number you get like all serious like this is a big deal and not normal. and maybe this is what makes online hbs a lil uneasy..idk that is just a theory. So i'm just gonna throw out a lil alternate suggestion, and this is a lie so if you're uncomfortable using it then your on your own ; p

" hey whats up I'm not gonna be on the IM for a while I'm going outta town for (whatever dhv you wanna insert here). so pray for me that my plane doesn't get abducted by terrorist! ;0
oh shit.
wait.
do you have text?"

and thats it. I think you really want like EVERYTHING to flow congruent and normally as possible when it's online. bc just like in real life if they sense somethings up. then they're gonna just be like fuck this.

good luck

[Curt]

Thanks for your suggestion, I like it a lot. I did end up sending her the message I wrote and it worked without a hitch! I found her on okcupid, and she seems to have a very similar personality to mine, so I just did what I thought I would have wanted if I was on her end.... and it worked!

I definitely know what you're getting at though, had it been any other girl I wouldn't have been so forward. Thanks for the help.

[Cydonia]

Something like this from DeadEyeDick:

Would you like to take this nice conversation offline? It would be easier to learn about each other that way ...

Just put your number here:

and I'll give you a call!

Have a great day. :-)

[Mungojerry]

My best advice is just be direct and low key. If she's giving you lots of IoIs for a couple of messages she wants and expects you to escalate to phone/text/IM.

Don't to tempt her into giving it without you asking directly. Don't make excuses when you ask. Just ask for it.

DED's example is a good one. My own version usually is something like.

"Let's continue to flirt by [text/phone/IM -insert whichever is your preferred mode of commmunication] what's your [number/screenname]"

Simple as.