Critique Needed 4 online game

[alpinehighest]

This was my first attempt at online game. After reading this forum and a couple of others structured a pretty good routine. Currently working on number close. The back and forth starts at the bottom. Looking for a good critique

=====me wrote=======
Chef,
This online back and forth is starting to bore me. You seem like a very interesting lady that I would like to get to know better. Here is my phone number XXX-XXX-XXXX. Give me a buzz, I promise I'm not some type of whack job.... Unless you want me to. You can call me Leon (french pronunciation) Don't make me wait Chef

=====target wrote=====
I miss Austin every day. Still have many friends there, and talk to them frequently. I lived there for 10 years. Loved it!

My parents retired here in COS and as a Chef and a single parent it just makes sense to be close to family for support for my kiddo. It was a necessary evil. Stuck here for probably another 3-5 years. AUGH!

So MBA program? You go! What are you specializing in? What do you want to be when you grow up?

=====me wrote=====
Chef, about your curiosity yes to all of them. Must be that secret chef mind trick. Now your turn, Austin to Colorado springs, were you high ? I love Austin, I lived there for 3 years. Going from one extreme to another. Is this a habit of yours?

=====target wrote=====
So, I should start cooking?!? Why?! Looks like you're a self-proclaimed pretty good cook. I do like Columbian food so bring it on! <g>

So currently are you in school now? Working your fingers to the bone like the rest of the world? Or traveling?


=====me wrote=====
Well you know Chef, if you are waiting for a change from all those boring and lame emails you get, and I bet you get tons, then your wait is no more. OH BTW, I'm hungry start cooking



=====target wrote=====
Wondering what I'm waiting for? Not sure.


=====me wrote=====
Well Well Well, the chef has arrived, Saw you looking at my profile. Was wondering what you were waiting for....

[minuterice]

man. actually you did pretty good. so listen: I've basically found with my own online game that its important to get some type of comfort goin on before you just get their number bc believe it or not MOST GUYS just send chicks their number in just a message by themselves or i think they'll like be all overly sexually aggresive then at the end of their message they'll just leave their number..wtf??! so i think when you just give out your number then it can just make them put up their lil automatic gaurd against that kinda thing REGARDLESS of whatever attractions taken place..if it happens to fast for them, they'll just be like fuck it then not answer. but this may just depend on the type of site and usually the type of chick..so i think it was great what you did bc you got attraction goin on early on in the interaction and you didn't just STAY in it..but rather you moved on to comfort which was good. the only thing i would've done differently if you wanted to talk to this particular chick further would've been to leave some easy way for her to give you her number..for instance you could've just told her you dont come on the site alot and that you guys should just talk or like if she's really shy then she can just text you her number.basically it is expected that she will give you her number one way or the other but generally not in a cocky way..stick with this frame and you'll be good.what site are you on btw..?
good luck!

[leetor]

I think that was a bad ending. she was giving IOI's and you ignored answering her questions and gave out your number. i think you kinda giv her the impression that she's boring you online, or with her IOI's. she wont even bother to ask you again IF she even calls. but who knows... were u able to go any further with her?