Evaluate plentyoffish profile

[intland]

I've seen some suggestions here. I recently put up a profile which is meant to be short and confident. I've changed it a few times.

Take a look at Roycir career, family, friends, watersports, tennis,

Let me know how it can be improved.

[trackfire]

Here's my advice (though I think a post from Cajun, TrueStory or any of the guys that get results on a whim would do you better):

Profile Title: I feel that it's too generic. I know that women usually skip over this, but you might want to try something more attention grabbing. If I were reading, I would have skipped over it before opening the page.

Pictures: You have a LOT of pictures of yourself. You should try and post some pictures of you going out and having fun, doing your favorite hobbies, etc. Make yourself interesting! I had issues with this too at first, but it's somewhat of an easy fix.

Description: Here are my comments (in bold):

BEFORE ANYTHING: I think that you should never say "Prefer Not to Say," as it might show less confidence. Direct answers work better, in my opinion.

I feel the most comfortable when control destiny. I believe self-employment is the way forward. I'm about to start my own business alongside my studies to become a chartered surveyor.

I feel that there's something that can be improved here, but I can't exactly point out what. Can someone comment?

Besides the goals I set in my life I feel strongly about my family and friends. I enjoy spending quality time with them: laugh at funny stories, share and learn, barbecue, party, etc. I listen to all kinds of music and as I'm ever curious I enjoy exploring what the world has to offer.

Honestly, I always found (at least from women) that those who say that they primarily enjoy quality time with family are the most boring people to hang around, and I'm something of a family-man myself (though not as much as I used to be). You should take time and think about other cool stuff that you do on your free time so that more women can relate to you. Remember, make yourself interesting!

Actually, why don't you put this along with your "Who Am I" section? Less words = less thinking = more interest.

Who am I:

- I’m widely travelled and well-read, speak several languages, and am on an ongoing quest seeking the unknown.
- Enjoy the finer things in life. I have a taste for seafood like ceviche, and occasionally I like a glas of red Torres or mezcal.
- I like alpine - and water skiing, wake boarding, and tennis.
- Sometimes I just want to do something random. I feel spontaneity makes life all the more exciting. I'm organised but I don't believe in having an organiser - too much paper trail - better to keep stuff in my head.
- Friends say I'm a good listener - a kind of person they feel comfortable to come for advice.

I'm not taking this too seriously. I know what kind of woman I like. As I'm not a fan of the bar scene I thought I give this a try. SUGGESTED REVISION: I'm not taking this too seriously, and I know what kind of women I like. I'm not a big fan of the bar scene, and am just looking for someone that knows how to have a good time.

I look for a sexy girl with a zest for life, that can hold an interesting conversation, and who craves being taken on an adventurous ride with me leading the way.

The above sentence was great (Cajun's advice, right? I used it too ), but this sentence almost counteracts that. I believe that almost ALL men who turn to online dating are looking for the qualities described above. You should try adding what I have in bold and removing this sentence and see how it plays out.

As they say behind every great man there's a great woman.

You woke up this morning
The world turned upside down,
Thing's ain't been the same
Since I walked into town.

So smile - the world can be ours

This seems a bit wimpy, but it might work for you. I'm not sure if this should be removed or just revised.

OVERALL: You give me the impression that you are a bit reserved and taken back. I used to write profiles like yours, and seldom got results. If you want, look for my post here that discusses my Plentyoffish profile. It might help you out. I think that with some tweaks, you can represent yourself as someone more dynamic, but mature.

[GypsyTilt]

I'd like to see some Social Proof pictures. Best way to get these is a digital camera, and a bachelor party checklist. Find some hotties...open, transition, DHV, snap picture, eject.

I agree with Trackfire. When I dont want to put something in or I what I put in sounds lame or flat, I always make it a random C&F comment, something like "Im a professional Chubacabra hunter, business is slow"

[intland]

Trackfire, I appreciate your suggestions.

Profile title: I thought it sounds better than what I’ve seen many other guys write, “looking for a lady”, “looking for a princess”, “looking for a nice honest girl”, “looking for kind woman”. I changed it to “Apply here for The One and Only”. I may change it again. You’re right though. Women need to get the message I’m not average Joe.

Originally Posted by trackfire

I feel that there's something that can be improved here, but I can't exactly point out what. Can someone comment?

I simplified the sentence. I think it’s a little better now.

Pictures: I know. I do love myself. Women may get the impression I’m self-obsessed. There’s sometimes a fine line between suave alpha male and metrosexual. I’m actually aware I should put up pictures from social events with others standing next to me. I need to find those photos. For now I removed some and added others.

Another thing. I’m not considered a bad looking guy. I don’t think it’s always favourable. I never had a problem (internet is a little different) with women becoming attracted to me. When I was around 20 I thought women are scared of me. I looked rather stern. Looking back also from what friends told me I realise how hard the girls tried. I falsely believed they weren’t attracted when they actually thought I’m not interested in them. I didn’t give them much of a chance. I think in my case it might be better if I don’t neg women too much when I initiate contact. I would say even more online as it’s difficult to convey sarcasm in text.

I don’t mind writing silly stuff. But it has to be congruent with my calm, composed, fairly mature personality.

Originally Posted by trackfire

BEFORE ANYTHING: I think that you should never say "Prefer Not to Say," as it might show less confidence. Direct answers work better, in my opinion.

Others here have suggested it’s best to have “prefer not to say”, because you keep the search wider. Your argument is good. On the other hand I would also say never reveal 100 %. It goes for other stuff in life as well and it’s not lying.

Originally Posted by trackfire

Honestly, I always found (at least from women) that those who say that they primarily enjoy quality time with family are the most boring people to hang around, and I'm something of a family-man myself (though not as much as I used to be). You should take time and think about other cool stuff that you do on your free time so that more women can relate to you. Remember, make yourself interesting!

Actually, why don't you put this along with your "Who Am I" section? Less words = less thinking = more interest.

I might attract dorky unattractive girls if I talk too much about family. One girl sent me the first message. She’s not a monster but ugly enough. Then another one have also contacted me asking if I want to talk. But she has no pictures. Makes you wonder how she looks.

I’m actually not overly family-oriented. Sure, they mean a lot to me and I would protect them if they ever were in trouble. Same with good friends who are like a second family to me. But I don’t feel I have to spend time with my family all the time. In fact there goes long periods I don’t see them because of geographical circumstances. At the same time girls may like a family-oriented guy they also look for someone who is independent.

Originally Posted by trackfire

The above sentence was great (Cajun's advice, right? I used it too ), but this sentence almost counteracts that. I believe that almost ALL men who turn to online dating are looking for the qualities described above. You should try adding what I have in bold and removing this sentence and see how it plays out.

To be honest I wrote the sentence myself. I’ve been inspired what others written on how to structure my profile and also reason why I’m on the site. I will do what you suggested and see what happens.

Originally Posted by trackfire

This seems a bit wimpy, but it might work for you. I'm not sure if this should be removed or just revised.

I can see that happening. I may remove the poetry (more or less from the Alabama 3 song “woke up this morning”, you may have heard it as The Sopranos theme) and world will be ours thing. I also removed the “behind every great man there’s a great woman”. I was first thinking of writing “woke up this morning and realised I’m the chosen one”. I’ve included it. Anyway, it’s a start.

If there's anything else let me know.

[DonEnigma]

Your photos don't really bring out your fun side mate. There are all a bit samey, in my opinion.

[neonlite]

yeh man, agree with DonEnigma...

pic 1 is good !....not much there but a solid profile pic.

pic 2....hum ok lets say you look good on that pic (although your shirt looks like is not fitted but ok)

pic 3 is good! chick is totally digging you and you are unresponsive !

pic 4 ...meh....pretty standard. Lets say its not bad...

pic 5 ...looks boring and you seem like a deer caught in the headlights

pic 6 is I guess not bad...same as pic 7...then again there is not much saying there just u looking at the cam and nothing is really happening..

pic 8...well....looks like the guy bending over is the center of attention hahaha! I barely noticed you the first time around :S

Also, first date is a little...stale I mean...there is no action, no romance...jsut booze and food...which is pretty much a date but you can put a lil emotion into it or something.

[intland]

Thanks for the constructive criticism. The same goes for the others who have contributed.

I removed pic 2. You're right that shirt is a little too big. I have pictures with good friends. I'm reluctant to upload them without their permission first. I also don't want to put up any pictures with close relatives.

I need to make better use of my digital camera. It's a little too big which is why I rarely take it with me to social gatherings. I'm thinking of getting a smaller one which I can easily put in a pocket.

I changed some of the pictures. I think it's better now. Far from what I would like to have up there but it's an improvement. I'm still searching for better pictures.

A pretty Russian from St Petersburg, not sure yet what I would rate (great body) her, replied to my message. She asked me to email her which I've done. Russian girls are interesting because they are very feminine yet traditional. The problem is that like a lot of Russian girls she might seek a higher living standard. She wrote to me why Russian girls seek "love" abroad, and that other ideals (and according to her unlike other Russian girls) are more important than material welfare and social status. All of them probably say the same thing. I don't know whether she's honest or not. Initially I told her I'm reluctant about this whole internet dating thing. She's been qualifying herself since. When she sent another picture she even wrote "As you see, Ive sent you my picture. I hope youll not run away from the computer when you see it :-)". Although I must have demonstrated some DHV, to be honest I also think this is a bit of a cultural thing. An English, or any western girl, would probably not say such a thing in the early phase.

Her English writing is not too bad. She's going to visit her sister in England, so maybe I will meet her in the future if she's good enough.

I think negs are almost useless online because rather than cocky/funny they are often perceived as sarcasm. I'm trying to send more personalised messages.

I had more success on a Facebook/Bebo application called Zoosk, which is just for quick flirting without a full profile like plentyoffish. But you can take it to Facebook or email quickly. Besides, if you're not a premium member the system sometimes stops messages from you or the other person. Among a few others a HB8 Pole (27 yrs) and HB7 Aussie (29 yrs), both living in London, have responded well. The Pole has already suggested to meet.

Originally Posted by neonlite

yeh man, agree with DonEnigma...

pic 1 is good !....not much there but a solid profile pic.

pic 2....hum ok lets say you look good on that pic (although your shirt looks like is not fitted but ok)

pic 3 is good! chick is totally digging you and you are unresponsive !

pic 4 ...meh....pretty standard. Lets say its not bad...

pic 5 ...looks boring and you seem like a deer caught in the headlights

pic 6 is I guess not bad...same as pic 7...then again there is not much saying there just u looking at the cam and nothing is really happening..

pic 8...well....looks like the guy bending over is the center of attention hahaha! I barely noticed you the first time around :S

Also, first date is a little...stale I mean...there is no action, no romance...jsut booze and food...which is pretty much a date but you can put a lil emotion into it or something.