Cajun's Online Method - Profiles, Messaging and Closing Techniques

[Cajun]

Originally Posted by spirit

I would like you to go as in depth as possible into what different types of women are after, and the best way to approach each one.

Again, im not going to write a book on here. Be fair guys, this thread is for SPECIFIC questions, im not going to write out the encyclopedia of online game, thats what my book is for . From now on, I'll only answer 1 question per person to keep it fair.

What women are after varies greatly from woman to woman. There is no "template" for attracting all women of a certain group. I've been with hardcore Christian women who loved it when I talked down to them and treated them like shit and I've been with religious women who were completely turned off by the same behaviour. It's not cut and dry.

However, in my experience, most women who go on dating sites suffer from some sort of low self-esteem so acting very alpha and being an authority figure (but not controlling, theres a difference) is attractive pretty much across the board.

Originally Posted by spirit

As for some quick advice here and now, i have pictures with me kissing girls and some with me with my arm round an ex etc etc, some taken in a club while some obviously taken indoors. Would it be wise to include say 1 picture of me kissing a girl and 1 picture with me with my arm round another, you know fo social proof/dhv? Or would it come across like im just trying to boast?

This is a mistake many informed guys make. Don't put pictures of you kissing girls on your profile, it's lame and most girls are turned off by it. I've actually watched some of my female friends browse profiles and when they see a guy who has pictures of him kissing girls they often remark "Uhh laaaaame" and next him.

Pics of you with your arm around a girl is fine as long as you don't look like a kid in a candy store. Any pics you have with girls should make you look like someone who is USED to having girls all over him, and not a player. Theres a big difference.

I'll include a link to my profile on plenty of fish so you guys can see an example of what a good profile looks like. I get at least 2 emails a day from girls who read my profile and were turned on by it enough to message ME (which is actually pretty rare).

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member1326910.htm

[Cajun]

Originally Posted by Timecop

More specifically, with opening, how detailed, or non-detailed should this be? Should it just be a quick one-line hook? Or should you also include some stuff about yourself that isn't in your profile? Should you start qualifying her in your opening e-mail?

Most good looking women on dating sites are BOMBARDED with messages. Most of these messages however are simply "wuts up" or "hey, you're hot". It's not hard to trump most dudes, so heres how your messages should work to STAND OUT.

-Messages should be 2-3 lines. Thats a safe length, you can write more but you don't want to write a book.
-Indicate WHY you messaged her. Reason should be something in her profile that stood out. Dont say you messaged her because you think shes hot, she KNOWS this.
-Keep it flirty and cheeky, remember: You're not taking this seriously.
-Qualify yes, but don't be serious about it. End messages with questions like "But, can you cook?" or "So what makes you so cool?"

[Cajun]

Originally Posted by TrueStory

Cajun, can you elaborate on this one? What do you mean by reason for trying? That brings me to a question:

If a guy has many friends and girl friends, why would he be spending time on dating website?
If girl asks you "Why are you on dating website?" what are ways to re-frame that?

Reason for trying out online dating. I usually say one of these:

-I travel a lot and don't get a chance to meet many women in my city, thought i'd try out meeting women online.
-I don't like the club scene.
-"The same reason everyone else is; I secretly enjoy screening and judging people I've never met. You like it too, don't lie"
-"I thought it was pretty lame at first, but my friend met a really cool girl off this site so I thought I would give it a try."
-In 2 years online dating will be the SHIT. I am a pioneer.

Originally Posted by TrueStory

Examples of headlines would be much appreciated too. What could you put as your opening headline so that she would click on your profile.

Headlines should be tailored to the type of guy you want to be. Mine is actually pretty dumb "more fun than your dad drunk!" but a lot of women find it funny. I've tried a bunch, funny ones seem to work the best.

Some ones I've used that have worked:

"Rock n roll trouble with a smile"
"Lets climb trees and make out"
"Sail away with me (must bring own liquor)"

Originally Posted by TrueStory

I am sure someone else has mentioned this, but it would help a lot of guys if you could explain how to number close or smoothly transition from online to IRL (In Real Life).

Most of us figure this out on our own, but we'd like to see your approach to this.

If you're talking to a girl on a dating site ASSUME shes open to meeting you. Online etiquette for dating sites is pretty much non-existent, so if she's talking to you its because shes attracted, not being polite.

My rule is after 2 messages get them on an IM. Talk to them on an IM for at least 20 mins and build comfort then say:

"Shit, sorry im doing like 10 things at once here, why don't you give me your number and I'll call you in like...5 minutes?"

or if she didn't have an IM and your still emailing you can say.

"I hate playing email tag, why don't you give me your number so we can talk like normal people."

Some women will shit test you on asking for the number. Things like "Ohh maybe im not ready to give you my number just yet" this actually happens a lot. Just cut through their bullshit with:

"Yeah you should totally play hard to get. Well im going to go grab something to eat now, when you're ready to give me your number let me know and we can talk like normal people...dork."

[TrueStory]

perfect!

Thanks man;

The "qualification" to why you're on dating site has been bugging me for while. And I haven't stumbled on a good answer yet. I love:

-In 2 years online dating will be the SHIT. I am a pioneer.

Actually ones above, helped me re-frame myself as well

[miaddict]

Cajun,

-on social networking sites like facebook/friendster/myspace where you can see your friends' friends, how would you consider opening 'cold' if you have never met them before and there is one degree of separation [you have one/more common friends]?

[Cajun]

Originally Posted by miaddict

Cajun,

-on social networking sites like facebook/friendster/myspace where you can see your friends' friends, how would you consider opening 'cold' if you have never met them before and there is one degree of separation [you have one/more common friends]?

"Hey! you know (friend) too? isnt he/she (describe friend's funny quirks or why they're awesome) I was randomly going through his friends looking for someone and saw your pic and couldnt remember if I had met you or not. So HI! How do you know (friend)"

I usually say something like that. Come under the radar. This is actually how most people meet anyway so you don't have to worry about your dhvs and qualifying and all that gamey shit.

[FriedOkra]

First, let me say THANK YOU for this thread. I just tried the Adopted Sister routine and it opened two girls (granted, I messaged about two dozen...).

Second, I just got shit-canned by one of those two girls! Check this out.

Me- (adopted sister routine, with "Are you a crazy on-line psycho?" closer)
Her- (seemingly ignoring my message, she sends me a question about one of my inviting DHV statements in my profile)
Me- (makes her guess, she guesses incorrectly, I answer her question and ask favorite animal from Heartwork's MySpace method)
Her- "that's it. lol. do you always mention that to everyone you meet?"
Me- "You don't get out much, do you? I can tell with that hair style. It's OK but probably a West Coast thing. Look, before we even think of hanging out, I think we should get to know each other. How do I know you're not some crazy Match.com stalker? So without some communication this is going nowhere... Here goes, what is your perfect vacation?"

Basically I am taking your advice and merging it with the only other on-line writeup I could find, which is Heartwork's MySpace method pinned here on the forums. Here is the girl's response...

I work at a fashion magazine and my "hairstyles" just happen to be worn be everyone in the city right now. I also dont come from the west coast?...

first of all i dont think id be on match.com and telling everyone else there pathetic when you are on the website as well lol

I spend my life avoiding people like you...so maybe you should harass someone else

SHIT! What did I do wrong? She neg'd my DHV and then ignored my opener questions. Is it just impossible to neg in on-line game? Any advice for on-line negs would be greatly appreciated.

[Cajun]

Originally Posted by FriedOkra

First, let me say THANK YOU for this thread. I just tried the Adopted Sister routine and it opened two girls (granted, I messaged about two dozen...).

Second, I just got shit-canned by one of those two girls! Check this out.



Basically I am taking your advice and merging it with the only other on-line writeup I could find, which is Heartwork's MySpace method pinned here on the forums. Here is the girl's response...



SHIT! What did I do wrong? She neg'd my DHV and then ignored my opener questions. Is it just impossible to neg in on-line game? Any advice for on-line negs would be greatly appreciated.

Alright, first of all.

1.What the fuck is that animal line? Never do that shit again, you're not trying to pick up an 8 year old girl.

2.DO NOT NEG. The whole power of the neg lies in your tone and body language when you say it, this is impossible to emulate in text. Not only that, your neg was terrible, you just flat out insulted her. No negs!

3. I don't know what online game material you read on these forums but I strongly advise against taking advice from ANYONE on these boards unless they have the word "instructor" under their name.

4. that is all.

[FriedOkra]

Originally Posted by Cajun

1.What the fuck is that animal line? Never do that shit again, you're not trying to pick up an 8 year old girl.

Hey, it was pinned on the forums! Heartwork's Myspace Method. The idea was to cold read after the animal question. But I will drop that. I just did not know where to go after the initial reply.

My understanding of your method is as follows (and I will easily buy your eBook when it is available),

1. Create an inviting profile
2. Open short and fun, leading question
3. Reply with comfort-building general questions while subtle DHVing
4. Proceed to IM for continued comfort building
5. Get phone number

and from there it is regular MM game. Correct?

[shokat]

Here is a sample profile I wrote trying to use your points. It is completely different the what I would have written a few years ago. What do you think needs work, add/delete/modify????

DISCLAIMER: I come with a money back guarantee. If you are not completely satisfied within 30 days you can return yourself back to mediocre guys and boring times free of charge. hehe

I just got this urge to drop my hook in the water for fun and see what kind of cute fish swim by and bite my hook baited with my sweetness and big honest heart. I'm really pretty open-minded as long as you are fun, classy and full of life.

My life is always filled with many of my passions.... ju-jitsu, yoga, hiking, mountain-biking, jogging with my dogs, bodybuilding, sleeping, laughing and cuddling, holding hands, kissing, and did I mention cuddling. FYI Yoga was the the hardest thing I have ever done that I thought was easy. Much respect to the ladies who do real yoga. I also love to read and on average chew through about 2-3 books a week that cover a wide range of topics from psychology to spirituality, some of my favorite books are about zen buddahism, history and science, (do you know how to meditate for real) can you sit still for 20 minutes without a thought entering you head? I also love things about science, health and nutrition. Knowing how to speed read definitely doesn't hurt either and makes reading a whole new experience, about 1,000 words a minute to be exact....Think you could keep up?...and no dork audio books don't count silly...I can also type a 100 words a minute...and yes numbers and symbols too....Now, how many men do you that can do that? =)
I am also in the process of writing a book. My biggest passion is the study of nutrtion and hypnosis and am going to school for both. Basically I am thirsty for knowledge and can never know enough and am always striving to expand my wisdom across many areas of life. I have helped many women reach there ideal body goals following my nutrtion and excerise expertise. If you want to meet the most amazing guy you've ever met then youve found him, lets hang out.

Humor and laughter are also a big part of who I am so lets laugh together till our bellys hurt and tears run down our face.

I own my own business in the Bay Area and love what I do serving many of the Bay Areas most prestigous fortune 500 companies. Being a self-employed entrepeneur can be the most challenging but yet rewarding endeavor. I wouldn't want to do anything other then work for myself, it allows me to challenge and push myself to new heights everyday and am constantly pushing myself to new levels of performance and success.

I also am a huge animal lover and you should be too. I believe the best way to tell someones character is how they treat their pets. So if you are lucky enough to hang out with me you might see just how I would spoil my ideal woman with lots of love affection and biscuits....just kidding...I meant chocolate kisses. hehe

The perfect woman for me is a postive outgoing person who would also bring out my best and push me to new heights both spiritually and emotionally. She would be a well-balanced person who has her head on straight and knows what she wants out of life always open to new adventures and ideas. Also someone with lots of goals and ambitions.

One of my biggest turn-ons is a woman who knows when to be feminine and classy and when to put on shorts and flip flops and head to the beach and get our feet all sandy and wet holding hands watching the sun set feeling the energy of eachother snuggling up in a warm cozy blanket. Then heading out to a night on the town being spontaneous doing whatever we feel like, whether it be a nice romantic dinner and strolling along the pier, or grabbing a big juicy burger and going dancing. I am very attracted to a woman who is feminine yet strong and also knows how to be a great friend, companion and lover, teacher, student and partner in perfect balance.

I have a very balanced and content life and am always open to hang out and have a great time with exciting and interesting people.

~E