PUA is the new AFC ( a very needed rant)

Justiceforall · #1 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 08:50 AM

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I remember when "Style" wrote this article titled "the PUA" is the new AFC...

Well I can see why...

I recently went to a lair meeting in Atlanta and I can see that for the most part I was surrounded by intelligent men who were seeking a way to help solve their girl problems. The problem I saw was that many of them had this perspective that there was something wrong with them and that they needed something outside of themselves in order to solve their problems. Hence the pick up artist industry is born. Many of the men I met did not have just girl problems but they had LOW self esteem problems, CONFIDENCE problems and some were dealing with a lot of internal pain especially from an abusive relationship or bad sexual encounter. I approached plenty of girls last week and this week and got so many numbers that I had to ERASE some. Did I obesses over what should I say on the phone? what should I do for day 2? or any of that nonsense..NO..why? Because I don't give a fuck. I am who I am...

SAY this with me

I AM WHO I AM

Honestly I've been hanging out with guys who bang girls left and right and you know what they told me...

ONE you need to show women that you are a MALE which means being sexual which includes approaching attractive women... 3 sec rule? 30 sec rule?...how about WHEN YOU WANT TO??? My background is Jamaican and I noticed that most of the Jamaican men I remember growing up in my family or as friends were proud to be males..proud to be sexual with women it was their birthright...

When I went to brazil I saw how these guys banged one of my female coworkers the same night IN THE BUSHES...why because he was proud to be sexual...

I don't know I guess America has made us pussies or something (perhaps the feminist movement) but bottom line leaving the lair meeting I am seeing that there is a lot of people who are making A BITCH LOAD of money feeding off of insecurities and make men feel that they lack something (sometimes tremendously) in order to feed him things and make their money. The self help industry has mastered this..ever noticed that every self help person has more then one book for sale... if all you needed was one revelation of wisdom why make healing one's pain so complicated...

AND in the end that is the real issue....healing and dealing with one's inner pain... the pain you feel when you get rejected is connected to a greater pain that lives inside you something you need to deal with....

This shit is supposed to be easy... I should not make it into a science project...and you shouldn't either...

Do you need some advice? yes... I think if you are clueless feel free to get some great information on DIRECT game.. but you don't need routines...you don't need magic bullets or any ordering mastery series at 40 dollars a pop

What you need is confidence and the SUPREME belief that a girl wants you. WOMEN know you want sex... but women also want a man who is CONFIDENT and SECURE in his sexuality because if a man is not they no he would be a lame lay.. WOMEN want to be FUCKED and fucked GOOD... so chances are if your inner pussy is stopping you from approaching her then chances are you won't be banging her doggystyle in your bathroom the way she wants.

I mean think about it would a REAL alpha male go out of his way to learn all these things to impress women...isn't that putting women on a pedistool?

Don't get me wrong I respect people who go out and who are looking to improve their lives with women via pick up but I Think there is a far easier way of doing this.... and if anything the pick up industry is an example of just how powerful fear and insecurities are in society. Get out of the matrix...

and with that said I will be signing onto direct game...why because honestly I don't need to trick women into sleeping with me I love who I am and I love my life and I don't need a woman to make me happy... I'm happy with or without pussy...getting pussy is just icing on the cake.... and I think women would prefer that mindstate then me having to learn some complex formula on how to get laid....

CONFIDENCE and an unwaivering belief that the girl wants him that is the mind state one should have... oh and you better learn how to love women because they really are the most fascinating and beautiful creatures PERIOD.

Becoming natural is not the "product" of MASTERING the indirect method and then applying direct game...being NATURAL comes from you going out and FUCKING up thousands of times and taking notes on your mistakes and talking to guys who are successful with women naturally.. it is all the same game period...biology is biology and if you have met one woman you have met them all ...just expressed in a different way....

What to know the secret that Mystery and Style are not telling you?

WOmen attract WOMEN... chances are if you get one number then you well get two...that two will become four..that four will become eight that eight will become sixteen...and so on.... the same thing goes for sex... when you get one girl..soon you will get two...then four..then eight....etc... Attracting BOAT LOADS of women is easy.... now attracting the first four is DIFFICULT...very hard...why? because it takes a lot of dedication and TIME... and it makes sense biologically ...if you can't get a woman to fuck you you are a genetic dead end...so why would any woman be attracted to you...we are wired to pass on our genes... a player has more of a chance to pass on his genes when he is fucking a bunch of women versus a guy who lets his seed spill in his towel every night... I'm sure mystery and style could get laid easily now without using any game and just being direct but of course they wouldn't what to say that otherwise they would lose out on lots of money ha ha ha

Get out of the matrix people...get out of the matrix

Justice

_big_pimpin_ · #2 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 09:02 AM

agreed

Vapor · #3 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 09:16 AM

Quote:

What you need is confidence and the SUPREME belief that a girl wants you.

This is the typical mantra of guys who don't know anything about the learning process.

Yes. If you have that and behave accordingly, you will get laid. Unfortunately, you can't by confidence at the store. You need to change behaviors, which leads to success, which leads to increased confidence.

But telling a guy to "just be himself and be confident" when those two things are completely contradictory to him, you're shelling out completely useless advice.

Justiceforall · #4 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vapor

This is the typical mantra of guys who don't know anything about the learning process.

Yes. If you have that and behave accordingly, you will get laid. Unfortunately, you can't by confidence at the store. You need to change behaviors, which leads to success, which leads to increased confidence.

But telling a guy to "just be himself and be confident" when those two things are completely contradictory to him, you're shelling out completely useless advice.

Okay so then what is confidence? confidence with women? You know when you get hungry and you go to the fridge for a bite to eat... is there any hesitation? is there any approach anexity? no..you are hungry and you go and eat the sandwhich..same way with women...you see a hot girl your dick gets hard...or biology tells you she is attractive (usually one or two seconds for me) you should approach..now at first it will be difficult because your mind is slow but eventually it will become a habit...I have to fight off my urge to approach now because I need to spend time studying and doing other things. Basicly the quickest way to get over approach anexity is to make a habit of approaching....EVEN when you feel fear and EVEN when you don't feel like it... eventually it just becomes a habit.. and the universe will open its doors for you.

Be yourself? well depends if yourself is filled with fear and sexual shame which I would argue that is not yourself but a distortion of who you are mixed in with limiting beliefs. Now if yourself is sexual in nature (as most men are) then being yourself would include touching, kissing and trying to fuck women you are attracted to..approaching girls..screening ..making dates..whatever..Woman know they want you to fuck them...it really is just a matter of escalating to the point where they are comfortable with fucking you... which means taking your time and if she objects to your advance slow down, brush yourself off and try again later.

I remember my first night out sarging I pulled this chick back to my place. if you noticed in The Game thread I started my goal was to open and not be attached to outcome which is another word of saying not really caring what happens.....and as I was lying with her in bed I asked her...so what is it about me that you like...she told me that I was CONFIDENT and DOMINANT.. in essence I was just being my natural alpha self...who I always was but was just afraid to express... I think that really all it is..being alpha and just not giving a shit... truly just doing WHAT YOU WANT TO DO... without hesitation and full certainty it will work...women are submissive by nature and chances are they will fit into your reality...whether if it is telling her you are taking her out saturday night or telling her you want to a blow job.

Vapor · #5 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 09:38 AM

You aren't addressing any of the things that nervous guys do wrong when they just go up and talk to a girl. Guys will say, "I ran out of things to talk about," or their body language (leaning in) and quiet tone will betray a complete lack of confidence. Or they forget to touch her early on like a normal person, because he's nervous at first, and it comes across as weird later on when he tries to escalate.

Whatever your learning methodoly is, it has to address those problems. "Just be confident" does not do that.

BTW, people will be more likely to read your responses if you use standard sentence structure and punctuation.

DeadEyeDick · #6 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 09:48 AM

J for A:

I agree with all that Vapor wrote.

Additonally, you've made an error in logic that is typical of guys who misunderstand evolutionary biology. The part they typically miss is the evolutionary part.

Yes, there are basic instincts we all have. But there's this important thing called the cerebral cortex that is amazingly complex and much less well understood than the reptilian brain you cite in your post. It controls the higher functions that make a woman think, rethink and overthink what her more basic drives are telling her. Same in men. As long as we're talking about human beings here.

Women are not all the same. At least not on the planet I live on.

The argument you're making has been trotted out on this Forum before in many ways. I appreciate the time you took to make it. Save time in the future and read what's been written about it in the past.

And why that message fails here.

Justiceforall · #7 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vapor

You aren't addressing any of the things that nervous guys do wrong when they just go up and talk to a girl. Guys will say, "I ran out of things to talk about," or their body language (leaning in) and quiet tone will betray a complete lack of confidence. Or they forget to touch her early on like a normal person, because he's nervous at first, and it comes across as weird later on when he tries to escalate.

Whatever your learning methodology is, it has to address those problems. "Just be confident" does not do that.

BTW, people will be more likely to read your responses if you use standard sentence structure and punctuation.

Honestly I've leaned into sets and have got numbers so leaning in...not leaning in... is not really an issue for me..

When I run out of things to talk about I ask for her number...

the person who doesn't touch her (if he wants to touch her) is not normal he is afraid..he has a psychological fear of physical contact with a woman...that is the problem..not that he didn't know a pick up technique.

Nor do I care about sentence structure or punctuation because I don't cater to grammar snobs on a PUA board...I rather save that for my scholarly articles I write in college.

Honestly in the end these PUA companies remind me of lawyers who create lawsuits in order to make business. They need to sue somebody so they create a reason to sue someone in order to have a case to make money..these PUA companies seem to create problems that "people have" in order to then sell products to address the problems that they create. So let me get this straight the guy who LEANS into a set...doesn't touch the girl in the first 30 seconds...and actively shows interest in the target gets a number this guy is a "natural" not just a normal human being... give me a break...

DeadEyeDick · #8 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justiceforall

give me a break...

Just take one yourself.

Justiceforall · #9 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeadEyeDick

J for A:

I agree with all that Vapor wrote.

Additonally, you've made an error in logic that is typical of guys who misunderstand evolutionary biology. The part they typically miss is the evolutionary part.

Yes, there are basic instincts we all have. But there's this important thing called the cerebral cortex that is amazingly complex and much less well understood than the reptilian brain you cite in your post. It controls the higher functions that make a woman think, rethink and overthink what her more basic drives are telling her. Same in men. As long as we're talking about human beings here.

Women are not all the same. At least not on the planet I live on.

The argument you're making has been trotted out on this Forum before in many ways. I appreciate the time you took to make it. Save time in the future and read what's been written about it in the past.

And why that message fails here.

Women are all the same they all have the same biological structure of having a vagina and having the ability (sometimes not of course) to carry children. Men have the same biological structure to produce sperm and impregnate women. Women also deal with the same polarities (Yin and Yang) and all females are an expression of feminine energy and polarity..just in different ways (whether they are blonde or brunette) that is why I don't subscribe to the belief that I have to change my game for a hot girl...I closed a hot girl and a ugly girl the same way...a woman is a woman period.

My message has not been trotted out...just the other day Jack The Ripper posted a field report where he got laid in 15 minutes and he was just himself. Ironically the woman he interviewed said the same things that the woman I interviewed said...confidence, dominance, self acceptance of oneself...etc... Personally if more people focused on how to change their MINDSETS (innergame) rather then their techniques (outergame) they wouldn't have to attended 1500 dollar bootcamps.

One thing I learned real fast in my short time doing pick is learning how to get out of your own head...the only thing that is stopping you is the gray matter between your ears.

Vapor · #10 (**permalink**) 08-21-2008, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Justiceforall

Honestly I've leaned into sets and have got numbers so leaning in...not leaning in... is not really an issue for me..

You are citing one example of a negative behavior, which is hardly a deal-breaker. Guys with confidence problems demonstrate several, and that will cause problems.

Quote:

the person who doesn't touch her (if he wants to touch her) is not normal he is afraid..he has a psychological fear of physical contact with a woman...that is the problem..not that he didn't know a pick up technique.

Nobody said the problem is he doesn't know a technique. The technique is what gets him past the problem. Yes, he is afraid, or at least self-conscious. The technique (remember to touch her early on) is what we give that guy so that he gets past it. And he remembers the next time and it eventually becomes natural to him.

Quote:

Nor do I care about sentence structure or punctuation because I don't cater to grammar snobs on a PUA board...I rather save that for my scholarly articles I write in college.

I'm talking about your benefit, not ours. You obviously care about people reading your opinions. Punctuation makes your post more readable, and if you separate everything with three periods, a large percentage of people will simply not read it. There are scholarly articles about the topic.

Quote:

Honestly in the end these PUA companies remind me of lawyers who create lawsuits in order to make business. They need to sue somebody so they create a reason to sue someone in order to have a case to make money..these PUA companies seem to create problems that "people have" in order to then sell products to address the problems that they create. So let me get this straight the guy who LEANS into a set...doesn't touch the girl in the first 30 seconds...and actively shows interest in the target gets a number this guy is a "natural" not just a normal human being... give me a break...

But "Just be confident" is a resoundingly successful method for learning. Got it.